Sonny's Carpenter Chronicles
by eb-dawg
Summary: SEXIS FIC Sonny Corinthos has finally left the organization and embarks on his new life. He has no money and barely any skills. He is forced to revisit his past and deal with the ghost of his abusive stepfather Deke Woods.
1. Chapter 1

September 10, 2005

Sonny's Carpenter Chronicles: Sonny Came Home

"Sonny Came Home" 

Sonny came home. He was finally able to get out of the life. But even during the debate of the how, the when, and the why, he often pondered what he would do with his life once it was all said and done. He was prepared to start all over since things had gotten to the point where everyone had started to abandon him; everyone except Kristina.

He had made phone calls to the people he knew from Port Charles. They refused to answer. And when one did answer his call, they told him that he was too dangerous to even stand next to at a place so innocent as Kelly's. The one phone call that really made it all sink in and made him drag his ass to the DA's office was to Robin.

He thought it would be a great idea to have his little sister meet his little Princess for the first time. His palms were sweating profusely as he held the phone to his ear hoping she was still that understanding, put it all in perspective Robin. But she, too, saw it fit to enact a little tough love.

"_Hey Sonny. I'd love to talk, but I really can't._

"_Why is that?"_ Sonny's heart was beating at an unmatchable speed. He knew what she meant, but he didn't want to believe it. He tried to find some type of approval in her voice, but all he found was the same disappointment.

"_I have patients to see. You know. People who truly want to live."_

"_But what does that mean?"_ Sonny questioned like a frustrated child as the click of her hang-up rung in his ear.

That day; the day that broke his heart. How would he explain to his precious that he had no one else left in his life but her? He refused to have someone barely tall beyond his knee look at him in pity.

He marched into the DA's office and slapped down the falsified documents detailing his warehouse activities with Sammy Tagliotti and Co. It was a group effort with him and his enemies to come up with false records to hand over to the DA Scottie Baldwin and the Feds. This way Sonny was free from selling out, but able to keep the Feds off of his ass. He didn't figure the plan to work, but he was hoping at least for the short-term.

They gathered together in one of their secret meetings and decided the way to get Sonny out of the business.

"_It's do or die Corinthos."_ Sammy scoffed and kicked back at the head of the table.

Sonny tried not to show any signs of desperation. He calmly forfeited all of his properties, secret accounts, and pride.

"_I'm giving you all everything I have but the shirt on my back. However you choose to break it up is up to you."_ Sonny declared as he slid all of his personal documents into the middle of the table.

Sammy grabbed the files and passed them around to the other heads of the families_. "You do realize you'll never have a real life out there Corinthos? I'm just warning you."_

Sonny nodded in agreement. _"As long as I still have my daughter. I guess that's all that matters."_

He walked out the warehouse with a slam of the door at his back and without the briefcase he came in with. He looked down at himself and noticed his shoes still shiny and his pants still nicely pressed. He was so nervous that morning; he made sure every wrinkle was ironed out smooth. Yanking off his suit coat, he realized he no longer had any money. He had cleaned out his accounts to give to the families and he handed over his credit cards to Scottie and the Feds.

He dropped the coat on the ground and started to search his pockets finding nothing but the lint lining the interior.

"_I don't know if I've ever been here before. I don't even have money for a cab."_ Sonny mumbles to himself and feels a panic attack about to come on. He starts out towards the street and decides to pick a direction.

Who knew a big city the size of Manhattan would suffocate him so quickly. As his feet pounded the pavement his breathing became heavy. The sights of places where he no longer fit in overwhelmed his vision. He strolled past Tiffany and Co and stopped at its entrance for a moment realizing if he walked in the door he could no longer throw around the name Sonny Corinthos. He decided against even trying and continued on down the street.

His slow and deliberate saunter annoyed some. At one point he was even pushed aside with a phony _"I'm sorry"_ tossed back by the pusher. It became too much for him to take and it was just the first day. A calendar appeared in his head and all he could do is count the many days he would spend like this wondering what the hell to do next.

He stopped in front of a bakery with a help wanted sign and leaned his tired body against the building to take a moment to think. A limo pulls up in front of him and the tinted window rolls down. He lets out a laugh to keep from crying. Alexis pulls herself up over the windowsill and beams with a smile.

"_Did you find a job Dear?"_ She lets out a chuckle and awaits his response.

"_No. Not having much luck."_ Sonny shrugs his shoulders and tries not to look too miserable.

"_Did you actually walk into the establishments and request an application?"_

Sonny runs his tongue across his lips and tries not to look her in the eye.

"_Hello? Is Michael Corinthos there?"_ Alexis leans even further over the window hoping for a response.

"_I'll do it tomorrow. I'm worn out. It's been an emotional day you know."_

"_Where do you expect you're going to live Dear?" _Alexis tilts her head in false perplexity.

"_Uh. Well. That's a damn good question. I really don't know the answer."_

"Well. You can't live with me. Especially not today since you've told both the Feds and the Families to take a flying leap. But I do have a suggestion. Not the best, but better than the streets of New York."

"_What's that?"_

"Benson Hurst."

Sonny stares at Alexis with a touch of resentment. He starts to wonder if she's mocking him.

"There's nothing left for me in Benson Hurst."

Alexis loses her smirk and tries to take on a more serious air_. "You know some people with nothing would kill for four walls, a roof, and a concrete slab. I know you think I'm being hard on you right now, but I'm really trying to help…"_

"…Some bad things happened there and you know it."

"I know Sonny. But I see some wonderful things coming out of the experience. Everyone needs a Helena in their life, dead or alive. Deke is your Helena. Embrace him. Show him who's the boss."

Alexis looks at Sonny to see if she made the idea any more appealing. She notices his eyes lost in space and realizes he's no longer paying much attention.

"_Would you like a lift to Benson Hurst?"_

"_Do I have a choice?"_

"Well, you can stand in front of this bakery like an idiot. Or you can go home."

Sonny ponders the idea for another moment, but his stomach starts to turn. The thought of going back to that house makes him ill, but he tries to hold it together in her presence. He takes her up on the offer and almost faints once in the backseat.

As they ride down the city streets slowly turning dark, his fear of that house starts to grow. Once over the bridge and down a couple of roads, the limo turns onto the street of Sonny's childhood. He looks through the window at the house he hadn't seen in years. He swore he'd never look back, but obviously he lied.

"_Are you going to get out of my limo?"_

Sonny rolls down the window and notices the moon shining in the sky. _"It really is dark out here."_

Alexis notices his hands shaking and she thinks she see tears well up in his eyes. For once she finally realizes his fears of his past. He talked about them all the time. The first time made her breathless. She couldn't believe what he had been through, but after knowing him for so long, she became immune to his recollections. But looking at him gripping tight onto the car door sent chills up her spine.

"If I didn't have to meet with my partners so early tomorrow I would humor you, but I can't."

Sonny continues to exam the house from the limo. He notices the wear; some broken windows and the uncut grass. He sits back and looks at Alexis.

"_Can I steal a pen and paper?"_

"_Sure. Will you get out of my limo?"_

"Yea."

Alexis hands Sonny a pad and a pen. He nods a thank you and slowly gets out of the limo. After he closes the door, Alexis leans out the window.

"Hey Sonny. I know you're afraid. I still get scared when I visit that place where my mother was killed. It's not easy. But if we never face our fears how do we grow?"

Sonny waves goodbye to her limo driving off. He stares at the dilapidated house in front of him. The crickets chirp loud as the moon continues to beam. He longs for a warm bed and some type of comfort, but from scanning the house at a safe distance, he realizes that Alexis was right. He finally had the opportunity to embrace his past and take back his pride. It was time to build himself a new home.


	2. Chapter 2

September 13, 2005

"**In the Corners of His Mind"**

The night wind begins to stir sending the tiny wildlife out of the grass and scurrying across the pavement. Sonny cringes at the rodents running for cover, but he sucks it all in and continues up the walk to find the door closed shut and locked. The panic comes on again and he turns back hoping her limo will show up in his hour of need.

"_Come on Alexis. This is not funny anymore_." He mutters as he jiggles the lock.

The frustration compounds so he takes his foot and drop kicks the door open. The darkness is so evident he can barely see his hand in front of his face. The smell is so decayed that he can barely breathe.

"_I can't sleep in here tonight_." He tries to think, but his senses overcome his brain functions and he focuses on his inability to cope. So he immediately goes back outside to the wrath of nature against him in the form of rain.

Thunder and lightening strike Alexis' window. She pulls herself tighter into her rest on the couch with nothing but thoughts of his shaky hands gripping tight onto the door and his eyes filled with tears reminiscent of a frightened little boy on his first day of school. Thunder rolls louder and jerks Alexis up from the couch to grabbing the keys from the table. She heads for the door but Lorenzo stops her before she can make it into the hall. He throws his hands over the doorframe and flashes his keen smile. He pulls himself upwards to create a barrier to her exit.

"_Where you going Ms. Davis_?" He teases.

She crosses her arms and meets his sarcastic air. "_I thought you and Ric were having a slumber party over there? I heard the giggling."_

"_We were going over some files. But that doesn't explain why you have the keys to your limo in your hand_."

Alexis furrows her brow and playfully pushes Lorenzo away from her door. He releases the frame and slams himself into his door across the hall.

"_Why are you and Ric being so damn nosey? I am in need of some ice cream. Kristina cleaned me ou_t."

Ric peaks his head out of Lorenzo's door filled with full-blown taunting. "_But Ms. Davis since when did you learn to drive that long, big ole piece of machinery_."

Lorenzo snatches the keys from her hand in keep away mode. "_Cassadine princesses never touch the likes of a steering wheel. I think I see what's going on here_. _How about you Ric_?"

Lorenzo throws the keys to Ric making the catch before Alexis can make the charge his way.

"_Lorenzo is right. This tough love act is getting to you Ms. Davis. You can't stand to see Sonny all sopping wet from the rain_."

Ric throws the keys back to Lorenzo while Alexis stands in the middle beaming red and refusing to play. She throws up her hands and turns back towards her apartment.

As she makes her way back inside, she yells at them. "_You're both fired!_"

"_We're law partners Alexis! You can't fire us!_" Lorenzo laughs and throws the keys back into her apartment before she can slam her door.

He comes across a tent disheveled and barely standing. The tall grass and the mud add to the discomfort of the situation, but the big Superman darting across the drenched shelter takes him back to the first night that momma and little Michael spent in there for a moment of liberation from that house.

"_There's no telling what's running around in this mess_." He tries to keep the memory from choking up in his throat.

Sonny finds a flashlight nestled under the shed. He turns it on with the light flickering to go out but giving enough gleam to find the various pieces of the tent. Piecing together what he could find, he slides inside his temporary home and zips it shut. The rain cascades harder onto the canvas, but Sonny couldn't be more relieved at that moment over standing in the doorway of that house.

He pulls the pad and pen dripping wet from his moist suit coat, but he suddenly realizes he's in a catch-22. Dropping the writing tools, he looks around himself surrounded by the small confined space. The flimsy walls of canvas become the solid white walls of his many nightmares.

"_It's not the closet Sonny. Keep it together. You can do this. Better out here than in there_." He places his head in his hands to take a moment to readjust his eyes to what's really in front of him. He looks around him again and realizes he's in the tent and not the closet, but the corners of his mind overtake his sanity.

"_Just close your eyes and go to sleep Sonny_." Alexis whispers to herself hoping her advice travels across the wind to his tent in the backyard. Staring at the ceiling, she tries not to imagine what effect the storm and that house of broken dreams might have on his already impotent soul. She sits up feeling queasy and unsure if she made the right decision to leave him flapping in the wind.

"_I know what it feels like to be scared. You're afraid to close your eyes in the dark so you turn on every light_." She tells herself hoping to sympathize.

"_Some lights would be nice_." He says to himself after his last deep breath before his next. "_I just need to breath and uh…_" He closes his eyes again and inhales the smell of the suffocating air.

Lorenzo and Ric walk in to her running around her living room with her nerves spinning in every direction.

Lorenzo crosses his arms and watches her unresponsive to their entrance. "_This is driving you mad Natasha_."

Ric slumps down in her recliner and sings. "_She's a maniac, maniac on the floor_."

"_Why don't you just give in? It obviously distresses you to not help him_." Lorenzo offers with a smirk.

Out of breath Alexis stops her racing to give them her attention. "_I don't know. It's just that he's claustrophobic. He's borderline Schizophrenic…_"

"…_He is not!_" Lorenzo exclaims.

"_That was a falsified claim to keep him out of prison last time. Remember?_" Ric smiles at her hoping to lighten the mood.

"_Maybe I'm making excuses for wanting to help him. I just need to go to bed and forget about it_."

He finally lies down with the storm, but the quiet toys with him even more. His head magnifies sounds barely there. His survival instincts run away from him so he retreats to the corner of the tent and tries to escape the figments of his mind.

He talks to himself. "_Just breathe to know you're alive. You've seen worse Sonny. Remember that cave with Brenda. No. Don't remember that cave with Brenda. Ok. Remember something else. Ok. Uh…Remember that jail cell…No. You might vomit. Maybe you won't. At first Alexis was there. I could almost touch her. She kept talking about something. Something about ballets or…She kept getting smaller and smaller and I couldn't breathe. I don't understand why she was getting smaller. I could barely hear what she was saying. I wanted to hear and touch her, but she was too far away…_"

His breathing tranquil; he thinks of Kristina immersed in sleep and free of all of those nightmares that typically plagues the infantile imagination. He imagines her mommy's smooth hand running up and down her back. Synchronizing himself with the baby, he's finally able to rest his impulsive mind.


	3. Chapter 3

Sonny's Carpenter Chronicles: A Home Depot and A Dream

September 14, 2005

"**Home Depot and a Dream"**

He wakes up half-ashamed of his fears from the night before. The birds chirping and the smell of something cooking from the house next door livens his senses. He sniffs the air for a moment and talks himself into sitting up and thinking about his next move. The light peeks through his tent and he feels more confident about walking into that house and rediscovering what he's missed for so many years. He thinks about Alexis and wonders if she might fit him into her plans for the day.

"_What are you two doing now?_" Alexis slams her coffee mug onto her desk catching Ric and Lorenzo both flipping through their newspapers and snickering.

Ric pulls downs his paper and shows her the want ads. "_We're finding potential jobs for Sonny. This is some funny stuff. Hey Lo. Read this one._"

Lorenzo puts down his paper and looks over Ric's shoulder. He throws his hand on his mouth and tries to hold back the laughter with his face beaming crimson. He finally controls himself and reads the ad out loud. "_Wanted. Funeral singer. Males must have soft angelic voices. Dapper appearance. And must be able to emote._"

"_Can Sonny emote?_" Ric grins at her like a Cheshire cat.

Alexis shots Ric a raised eyebrow. "_Yes Ric. Sonny can emote. He did Schizophrenic pretty well. Remember?_"

She jumps from her desk and grabs the papers from the troublemaking twosome. "_We need to focus on this firm. And our cases. Don't make fun of Sonny. I'm sensitive._"

Lorenzo stands up with the smile leaving his face. "_Hey Alexis. We're being straight up here. We're your friends. We know that there was an element of guilt in you asking Sonny to leave the business. And now you feel responsible for him cause it's just not working out._"

"_But Lo it's just the first day Man._" Ric interjects.

"_Yea. You guys are right. I stayed on his ass to get out of the mob after everything that happened. I didn't realize that he didn't have a plan once he got out. So now I send him back to the one place that scares him the most to…_"

"…_Start over again._" Lorenzo interrupts. "_Nothing wrong with that. I used to be a criminal. We all want that second chance. Some of us know what to do with it and some of us don't._"

He finally gathers the courage to go into the house. Looking around he tries to draw a picture of his mother's last moments.

"_I wonder if she died with a second of happiness. She used to compete with Momma Cassarelli next door. They used to have a bake off. I wonder what Cass is cooking this morning? It smelled good._" He looks out the front door at the house over yonder and spots the woman he used to call Momma Cass talking to the postman. The postman walks away and Cass notices Sonny looking in her direction. She waves with a boisterous hello and signals him over.

"_Adella's Boy! You haven't grown an inch!_" She yells across the lawn. "_My toilet is overflowing! Get over here and I'll let you have a meatball. Maybe two if you fix it right._"

Sonny laughs thanking God under his breath that she remembers his face. "_I'll be over in a minute Momma Cass!_" He bites his lip and ponders for a moment on exactly how to fix an overflowing toilet. _"Why is her toilet overflowing in the first place?_" He scrounges up his face in disgust remembering the many dinners that he used to enjoy in her kitchen and the repercussions. "_I'm gonna have to buy Momma Cass some Drano._"

* * *

Alexis rushes into the apartment across the hall certain of her decision. "_I have decided. I'm gonna be strong. I won't shed a tear. He's a big boy. Big bad mobster. He used to kill people…_" 

"…_Correction. Jason did the killing. That was keep him out of prison argument number…What number was that Lo?_"

"_That case was last year. I'm too busy to care about it at the moment._" Lorenzo grumbles while engrossed in his files strewn across the coffee table.

"_Whatever. I used logic. Logic screamed at me. It told me that I needn't be bothered any longer. Luckily he has nothing to offer me._" Alexis plops down in the chair and beams at her newfound freedom.

"_Well there you go Natasha. You made a decision and you justified it. You've won your case. Can Ric and I finish what we're doing please?_" Lorenzo tilts his head at Alexis with a forced smile.

She notices both of them less than enthusiastic about her news so she jumps up from the chair and shuffles herself back over to her apartment. Viola walks in with Kristina in her arms covered in sand from head to toe with a broken shovel in her hand. Alexis gasps knowing that the little girl was sent out that morning precious enough to sit next to the Queen of England but now fit to be dumped in the nearest water hole.

"_What happened to my daughter? She's filthy_."

"_She got into a little fight_."

"_A fight?_"

"_My box._" Kristina sings with an innocent smile.

"_She took her shovel and broke it over some little boy's head because he wouldn't get out of the sandbox._"

Alexis looks at Kristina in shock trying to picture the sweet child with proper Cassadine manners breaking a shovel over the head of an obnoxious little boy.

"_Kristina?_" Alexis crosses her arms and gives her a stern look.

Kristina looks away from her mother shaking her head with a no. Alexis taps her on the knee to regain her attention. "_Little Miss Davis? Can I have a moment of your time? You're going to have to explain to Mommy why you're not sharing._"

"_My box._" Kristina looks away again refusing to say anymore.

Viola interrupts. "_Actually Alexis. She almost took out the whole park of children for sitting in "her" sandbox. She's quite territorial._"

"_Oh no. I'm sorry Viola. I don't mean to make excuses, but it's obviously in her genes._"

Sonny walks in on the defensive. "_Ok. Just hear me out Alexis._"

"_So you made it through the night?_"

"_Barely. I slept in the tent._"

"_You did what! Oh good God Sonny! You're such a drama queen!_"

"_I just can't sleep in that house. I had nightmares when I lived there so there is no doubt I'd have nightmares now. But anyway, I was thinking. It's just a thought. I was thinking maybe you could help me._"

"_With? Cover Kristina's ears Viola. He comes up with some good ones. I don't want her getting any ideas._"

Sonny laughs. "_It's not like that. I need a Home Depot card._"

Alexis steps back. "_A who?_"

"_All I need is a Home Depot and a dream. And I'll be all set. But anyway, I gotta unclog Mommy Cass' toilet._"

Lorenzo walks in with a big grin. "_I thought she died on a ham sandwich?_"

"_Naw. Her toilet is clogged. And it needs Drano that I can get from Home Depot if only I had a card where Drano flows freely. How about it?_"

"_Do they sell guns at Home Depot?_" Alexis inquires with a raised eyebrow.

Sonny looks perplexed. "_Nooo._"

"_Ok. But that's it. I'm done!_"

Lorenzo throws up his hands. "_So much for logic Natasha!_"

* * *

Aisles and shelves of tools and nails. Mini blinds and assorted paint. Wood and gardenscapes. Alexis' headache hits her standing in the plumbing aisle. She tries not to show her aggravation after seeing Sonny carefully comparing the different types of pipes to Kristina seemingly enticed. 

"_Home Depot is really big I notice_." Alexis tries to alleviate the headache with conversation. "_Does she need new pipes or Drano?_"

"_The Drano should do her fine._" Sonny goes back to his pipe lesson with Kristina.

Alexis looks at her watch. "_How about we leave now? It's getting late Dear. Kristina had a long day._"

"_You're ruining our fun Alexis._"

"_Home Depot is not fun!_" Alexis raises her voice amidst the shoppers passing by in the aisle. She blows off the stares with a forced smile.

Sonny takes the hint and leads the way towards the exit of Home Depot. They make it out to the limo and Alexis notices Sonny more silent than usual.

"_Now you're trying to make me feel guilty Sonny._"

"_How is that Alexis?_"

"_You're giving me the silent treatment._"

"_Am I not allowed to just ponder? I'm sleeping in a tent. I have a lot to think about._"

Sonny settles into the limo with Kristina, but Alexis remains outside ready to blow. Sonny leans out the window waiting for her to decide to join them.

"_The limo ain't leaving with you standing out there Doll._"

She gives in with a frustrated plea to the heavens. "_Sonny, you do it to me every time. Where is logic when I need it!_"

* * *

Viola steps off the elevator hanging up from a conversation with Alexis going over Kristina's evening arrangements. Across the hall from Alexis', she sees Lorenzo's apartment door wide open. "_I never understand why Alexis doesn't lock the door of this apartment._" 

Viola walks into the apartment and notices files scattered along his coffee table and the letterhead bearing the names of the partnership Alcazar, Davis, and Lansing. "_I wonder when she plans to change the name of the firm. It's been a year at least._"

She stops her straightening and leaves the apartment locking the door behind her with a key on her key chain. She continues on across the hall to Alexis' apartment without another thought.


	4. Chapter 4

September 19, 2005

Just the Two of Us

"_There is enough room in this tent for the two of us."_ Sonny grins till he turns beet red knowing she loves to be there for him though she'd never admit it. He opens the tent and crawls inside, but Alexis crosses her arms and refuses to follow him.

"_Sonny, I have no problem sleeping in the house. Do you have a guest room in there?"_

"_Please. Stay out here. Please."_ He begs with his hands clasped together.

Between his flashing dimples and the clouds forming above them threatening rain, she caves in and crawls into the tent.

"_It's cozy in here. We should have invited Kristina."_ She observes as she crosses her legs and pushes herself away from him into a corner.

"_Yea. But that wouldn't be romantic."_ Sonny grins and fends off her hand smacking him across the face.

They drop into complete silence again and listen to the last bird stirring before nightfall. The wind starts to pick up prompting shivers in the abrupt cold.

"_You slept in here the whole night huh?"_

"_Yea. It was hard getting to sleep though."_

"_I know. I sensed your restlessness. And then voices in my head started talking to me…"_

Sonny's eyes light up with wonder. _"They talk to you too? Those voices?"_

"_Probably not the same ones that talk to you. I hope not. Then I'd have to admit that I'm crazy. And I'm not."_ She catches herself from revealing her mechanical thoughts.

"I wouldn't think you were crazy Alexis. It's ok to share voices. Do you have names for them?"

Goosebumps form on her skin and she tries to hide them by crossing her arms in shame of what goes on in her head on a daily basis_. "No. No names. Just voices. Male. Mostly male." _

Sonny tries to drag out her thoughts. _"Past relationships?"_

Alexis tries not to show her frustration with Sonny's questions, but she barely holds back the cynicism_. "No. Can we talk about something else Kevin?"

* * *

_

His couch never felt so comfortable even with his watchful eye beaming on her. Lying down peacefully, she looks him over in his black turtleneck, brown corduroys, and matching blazer. He puts the tip of the pen to his lips and waits to hear something from her.

"_Alexis. You're not paying me for a nap."_ Kevin smiles through his sarcasm.

"_I know." _Alexis sits up and takes a couple of deep breaths. _"It's really hard to get rid of them. They were both so important to me."_

"_I know. It's been, what, a year?"_

"_Yea. At least. And it was all my fault. I can't even blame Sonny for what happened."_

"_But he should take most if not all of the blame for anyone that dies around him."_

"Yes. He should, but he can't. His spirit is weaker then you think it is. He does that whole repressed thing."

"_I wouldn't know. He refuses to step foot into my office. He wanted sworn testimony on his debilitated mental health and he got it. He didn't get it because I wanted to lie for him. He got it because he has a serious mental disorder that he refuses to acknowledge."_

"_Kevin, am I crazy to believe that they still exist?"_ Alexis questions with hopes of a positive response.

* * *

"_Kristina beats other children with her shovel."_ She tries to hold back laughter from her recounts of Kristina and her bullying saga, but Sonny brings it out of her with a chuckle of his own. 

"Plastic shovel? I'd doubt they're effective. We could get her the real thing from Home Depot."

"_No. She'd probably take you up on it."_ An idea pops in her head_. "Are you busy?"_

Sonny lets out a grunt. _"Yea. I got a full plate. What you need?"_

"_How about you make Kristina a sandbox?"_

"_Why a sandbox?"_

"_Because she doesn't want to share and I don't want her to have to share if she doesn't want to."_

A smile fills his face and he thinks in relief that she's there helping him get through the night. _"That's not the way to be Alexis. Sharing is a good thing."_

Alexis gives up on the conversation and lies back in her corner. Sonny makes his romantic move but he's stopped with a stiff arm. He hovers over her waiting for the approval while she looks up at him with a grin_. "You're going to sleep on the other side of the tent. I don't like to share either. Night night."_

"_Oh. So it's gonna be like that. I share my tent and you don't want to share. Ok. That's cool." _He lies down inches away from her and focuses his eyes through the netting at the stars strategically placed in the sky. He draws pictures linking the blurry white line from one star to the next. _"Why weren't these out last night?"_ He questions in his head.

The rain stars to pour erasing his pictures from the sky. He looks over at Alexis drawing pictures of her own. Immediately she sits up startled_. "I can not believe you're touching me there."_

Sonny sits up confused. _"What? I'm not touching you."_

They both look down at the culprit tunneling through a hole in the tent with its long tail fluttering behind its escape. Alexis jumps out of her skin with a scream that'd make God tremble. She busts through the canvas of Sonny's tent, and hauls ass across the lawn to the limo. The rain bears down on Sonny through the hole. He jerks down what's left of his backyard home and looks around the darkness for Alexis. _"Alexis! You broke my tent! My momma gave me this tent!"

* * *

_

Alexis fidgets with the lock of her apartment door. "Stop whining. I will buy you a new tent. You can sleep here tonight." She looks back at Sonny soaking wet and pouting about the loss of his tent. She notices the door across the hall shut. "Go inside my apartment. I'll be in."

"_Where you going?"_

"_Across the hall."_ She points towards the other apartment and prays that he doesn't become suspicious. Luckily the lines under his eyes show the lack of need to know anything other than sleep. He stops his questioning and goes into her apartment.

Jiggling the knob to the door her heart starts to race. She turns it in every direction hoping maybe her thoughts of it really being locked are wrong. Viola walks off the elevator and notices Alexis fumbling with the door.

"Alexis? I thought you were staying with Mr. Corinthos? I dropped Kristina off to her sleepover with Brooke Lynn."

"_No. It didn't work out. Who locked this door?"_

"_Oh. I did."_

"_Why?"_

"_Alexis. You live in New York City. Crime is high and you leaving that door wide open is not a good idea. Don't you have important documents in there?"_

Alexis' stomach starts to turn and she rushes to figure out an explanation. _"Just do me a favor and don't lock this door."_

"I'm sorry. I have the key right here." Viola unlocks the door not sure of how to take the reprimand. "Are you ok Alexis?"

"_Yes. Don't be alarmed. Sonny is in my apartment."_

"Ok."

After waiting a moment for Viola to disappear across the hall, Alexis opens the door to Lorenzo sitting in his recliner enjoying his nightly glance of the newspaper_. "Natasha. I've been waiting for you. Where did you go?"_

"_You will not believe what happened to me this evening? Were you here when Viola locked the door?"_

"_No. Ric and I went for coffee. There must be some youngins above us because we couldn't get much done on that case because of their party. You need a drink or something? You look flushed."_

"_Sure. What do you have?"_

"_What do you want?"_ He walks over to the bar and picks through his different selections.

"Something strong please. I was fondled by a rat."

"_One day he's a needy case and the next day he's a rat. Can we get consistent on how you feel about Sonny?"_ Lorenzo sticks out his tongue at her in jest.

He finishes tiding up his bar and hands Alexis her drink, subsequently, throwing himself back into the comfort of his chair. _"So. How was the fondling experience?"_

Alexis finishes the last of her drink_. "It was a real rat you jerk; in Sonny's ghetto ass tent he calls a house. You know where the hell I can find a Superman tent for a really big boy?"_

Lorenzo doubles over in a laughing fit_. "Logic! It screamed at me…"_ He continues to laugh barely able to speak. _"When does it end Natasha?"_

Alexis tries to hold in her annoyance. _"Can you be serious for a moment?"_

"Yea. Serious now."

"I really want to disconnect myself from him if at all possible. He just needs something to do. He really likes Home Depot."

"_Too bad you'd be getting the bill."_

"_True. Hey where is Ric tonight?"_

"_You're obviously not thinking about him or he'd be here."_


	5. Chapter 5

Dear Kristina

November 1, 2005

_**Dear Kristina,**_

**_I'm starting my new life now. Your mother and her brilliant idea led me to a place that I never thought I'd see again. I never felt so alone. Or maybe I have. All I know is that place often reminded me of what I never wanted to become. But it seems that it became even bigger than me._**

Sonny notices Alexis' shadow creep over him. He yanks the letter from the pad and folds it into the smallest form possible.

"**_What are you writing?"_** She inquires intrigued by his nervous folding.

"_**A list. Mommy Cass' house is falling apart all of a sudden."**_

"**_Sonny, you know what you should do? You should ya know charge Mrs. Cassarelli for your services."_**

Sonny thinks for a moment. **_"Charge? But she gives me meatballs. You're not gonna find a better meatball in Brooklyn. Besides. My momma raised me better than that."_**

Alexis sighs and throws her head back for a moment. **_"Sonny. This is the new millennium. You can't barter with meatballs."_**

"_**I'm just saying Alexis. It's a neighborly act. I can't roll up in her house all like 'pay me'. She'll just get Johnny down the street to do it for free. See I shoulda been a labor attorney."** _Sonny taps his temple beaming at his cognitive skills.

"**_Ok. Let me motivate you for a moment. You're not living here. Ever. So get a job!"

* * *

_**

"_**I have figured out the job for you!"** _Lois screeches and flips through the sports section of the newspaper disrupting Sonny's quiet meditation over his soup.

""**_What's that?" _**Sonny looks over her paper for a clue of her idea.

She throws the paper down and moves in closer to him across the diner table. **_"You could be a New York Yankee!"_**

"**_Ok."_ **He nods and continues to eat his soup.

"**_You obviously didn't hear me. Don't you remember how good you were back in the day? You used to play a mean game of baseball. I just remember you in those tight pants. You had such a nice ass."_**

Sonny licks his soup spoon and grins at her obviously buying her own vision. **_"Keep on. I'm liking this."_**

"**_Sonny, all you need to do is hit one homer. A grand slam! And the next thing you know, Badabing! You're an underwear model with a billboard in Times Square next to Sarah Jessica Parker. Forget baseball. Just insure your butt cheeks." _**

Sonny grins at Lois. **_"I have a better one. How about you take me to your studio and let me be the next Ricky Martin?"_**

"**_Oh hell no. You're not ruining my career too. Ricky's a gem and you My Dear are a cubic zirconia."_** Lois goes back to reading her paper. She looks up for a moment and notices Sonny staring off into space beyond her shoulder. She looks back at the empty counter and focuses back on him.

"_**Uh Sonny. What are you looking at?"**_

Sonny shakes his gaze. **_"I was looking at that guy at the counter. He looked like Lorenzo."_**

Lois looks back again at the counter and sees no one there. _**"Are you nutty Sonny? There's no one at that counter."**_

The rustle of the newspaper snaps him back to reality and he clears his head realizing no one is really there.

"**_Sonny, that's kind of weird that you see Lorenzo sometimes. Maybe you feel guilty about what happened to him. Not that you did anything directly."_**

"**_I put a lot of lives in danger. Hell I'm shocked you're sitting here. I'm glad you are by the way."_**

"**_We go way back ya know. Plus my momma always liked you."_ **

Lois grins from ear to ear and flips her paper back to show Sonny an article.** _"You have to read this. TO owns his own music studio and plays football. It's all about diversification. Baseball. Underwear model. Check out this article."_**

That nervous feeling he always got when he was put in this position seeps like sweat in his hands. He stares at the blur of the words on the paper. And knowing Lois was one to quiz he tries to decipher the symbols with what he had integrated in his head over the years. He rubs his brow and forces a dazed temperament.

"_**I got a headache Lois. I get the gist. Diversification."

* * *

**_

"**_It's all about diversification."_** Alexis hops from Kevin's desk and sits down on his comfy couch. He swivels his chair to follow her nervous pacing.

"**_So you think Sonny should diversify?_**" Kevin pokes his pen into his chin and waits for her response.

Alexis shrugs her shoulders. **_"What exactly was the point of this conversation again?" _**

"**_You think he should move on from the Spiderman tent."_** Kevin tries to hold back laughter but his face beams red and he fidgets in his chair hoping she doesn't notice.

"**_I just think we all have crutches in life that we need to let go of. We all could use an upgrade of something. You're the shrink. You know what I mean."_**

Kevin leans in towards her noticing the visible frustration. **_"What are your crutches Alexis? You said we all have them. What are yours?"_**

"**_It's hard to let go of the past sometimes, but you just have to do it. I wish Sonny would let go of the past."_**

"_**Have you let go of the past Alexis?"**_

"**_No. I haven't but I'm trying. It's still too soon. I have to rebuild my law firm again from scratch. The two most important people in my firm are dead, but they're still here. They always talk to me. And that's why I come to you to know whether or not it's wrong to still talk to them."_**

"**_I don't think it's hurting anyone to communicate with long lost loved ones and friends. I'd think it'd be hard to ignore them if they still come to you."_**

"_**It gives me peace of mind and assures me that maybe angels do exist."

* * *

**_

Alexis hands him a Home Depot bag. He yanks out the box from the bag and studies the packing. Expecting nothing less than excitement on his face she draws disappointment instead.

He looks at her and forces a smile. **_"Uh. Thanks? I hate to be picky and everything but you bought me a Spiderman tent. My tent was a Superman."_**

She grips her hands together and tries to stay calm. **_"What is the difference? They both end with the word man."_**

"_**Yea but I don't like Spiderman. I never did. All that climbing is way to much work. Superman could fly."**_

"**_Sonny, He has the web! He swings from the web! So in essence he flies."_**

"_**I have my theories on that. What if the web stops gripping?"**_

She takes a deep breath and hurries past him to her door. **_"I'm going to have a moment of silence across the hall. You know where you can shove that tent."_**

"_**In my backyard right!"**_

She slams the door behind her and escapes to the apartment across the hall. She throws herself into the comfort of the recliner and meditates for a moment.

"**_I almost forget." _**Alexis thinks to herself realizing that she picked up that folded piece of paper from her coffee table that Sonny tried to hide. She unravels the letter and finds herself startled by the writing on the paper.

"**_What?"_** She sits up in the chair thinking maybe her brain might be too relaxed to translate his language. She recognizes their daughter's name spelled to the height of perfection but reading further down it all seems convoluted. Not really words. Sometimes portions of words and pronouns, but barely anything for her mind to understand. A flustered twitch in her hand makes it harder for her to hold the letter.

"**_I heard him read it to himself. Why am I not seeing what he read?"_** She folds the letter back up and lies back in the chair with a million and one thoughts flowing through her head. She tries to remember all the business meetings and excursions that they masked as business. She tries to figure out how he managed to hold it all together all of those years.

* * *

"**_I guess it's like Santa Claus. Or maybe it's like Spiderman or Superman. Or anything with superhuman powers. When you're young or maybe just inexperienced or maybe just too intrigued you believe the bravado and you fail to see a person's flaws and sometimes you find yourself competing."_** Alexis continues to ramble while Kevin writes down the ideas flowing through her head.

"**_How did the letter make you feel? May I see it?"_** He inquires.

She crosses her arms and thinks some more. **_"No. If it's ok I'd rather show it to Sonny first."_**


	6. Chapter 6

Sonny's Carpenter Chronicles

November 7, 2005

"**Choices"**

"**_I know each one of them means something to you. That's why I'm giving you this choice. So you can keep one and spare your life as well. But you have to choose or you all die."_**

The masked gunman cracks a smile and looks through the holes into her fearful eyes. He tightens his grip on her arm and awaits a response beyond her terrified, speechless stare.

"**_Why don't you spare them and just take me?"_** She barely lets the words of sacrifice pour from her mouth. But she hopes deep down inside that some supernatural power will come and save them all.

The gunman sits her down in the chair and tightens the rope of her restraints. He paces around her office with his rifle ready to fire at any movement. Constantly looking out of her windows for the authorities stories down below, he notices her struggling with the rope from the corner of his eye.

"**_The crowd is forming. Have you made your choice Ms. Davis?"_** He asks.

----------------------------------------

"**_Oh my god!"_** She sits up from her nightmare re-lived pouring with sweat and finds herself capriciously humming the words to Kristina's sing-along in the living room. She lies back down and listens to the baby's lovable tiny voice competing with…

"**_I hate Barney. I really really hate him."_**

She hurries out of bed and stumbles into the living room still shaky from her sleep of distress. But in between the sunrays pouring through her windows and Kristina happily tilting her head from side to side to the music, she shakes off her threats upon the purple dinosaur.

"**_Morning Little Miss Davis."_**

Kristina pulls up on the couch.**_ "Morning Mommy. Say hi hi to Barney."_**

"**_Mommy doesn't like Barney very much."_**

Practically ready to leap from the couch, Kristina screams with a furrowed brow and her face red with anger.**_ "That's not a nice thing to say! Apologize! NOW!"_**

----------------------------------------

"**_You're supposed to pretend that you like what she likes. We've had this discussion already._**" Kevin emphasizes his point by pounding his fist on the desk.

Alexis crosses her arms refusing to back down.**_ "Why should I? And the next thing you know I'm condoning her drug-dealing boyfriend. Besides. I hate singing animals."_**

"**_But you made her cry Alexis. She's a baby."_**

"**_You make it sound like I pulled a Joan Crawford and beat her with a wire dress hanger."_**

Kevin buries his face in his hands. **_"I'm charging you double for this session."_**

----------------------------------------

Lois dabs her red eyes with a tissue with Sonny looking on not sure if he should offer his sympathies or go home.

"**_You ok Lois?"_** He hands her another tissue.

"**_I'm so sorry. Extreme Makeover Home Edition always does this to me. I'm ok. I swear."_**

Lois continues to wipe her eyes and immediately sparks another idea.**_ "Oh my god Corinthos! I've got the job for you!"_**

"**_Oh no. What now?"_**

"**_You could like build stuff. You like power tools and stuff right? You could be like a carpenter."_**

"**_And then what? I need to diversify. Remember?"_**

"**_Well. You could build like all these cool houses and get your own reality show!"_**

Sonny jumps up in false excitement.**_ "And then Badabing…"_**

"**_You and Ty are like this!"_** Lois crosses her fingers.

"**_I thought about rebuilding the house."_**

"**_Like tearing down your old house?"_**

"_**I can't live there. So why not tear it down and build a new house? Can't exactly sleep in a tent forever. And your couch isn't exactly all that comfortable." **_

----------------------------------------

"**_What do you think's going to happen?"_** Ric questions and lays his head back against the wall of the closet. Lorenzo continues to stare up into the ceiling while Sonny bites at his nails almost feeling the crunch of the confined space.

"**_Sometimes it's best not to question."_** Lorenzo mutters and closes his eyes.

Sonny stands up and leans his forehead into the corner. He takes a couple of deep breaths but his heart continues to pound in his ears. **_"I just wanna die right now."_**

Ric stands up and leans on the banister. **_"I always figured you for a punk Corinthos. Need a paper bag? You're the reason we're in this position. They're here because of you."_**

Sonny looks up and back at Ric. He balls his fist ready to swing, but Lorenzo wakes up and grabs his hand.

"**_Don't Sonny. Shut the hell up Ric! We need to get out of here and get to Alexis."_**

Ric laughs and continues to lean back. **_"I don't want him to live. He's the reason my relationship with Alexis fell apart. We lost someone very special to us and it was all his fault."_**

Lorenzo stands up and grabs Ric by the neck. **_"Shut up. This is not the time."_**

Lorenzo releases his hold, but Ric sees fit to continue. **_"Why should I shut up if I'm gonna die anyway? Alexis told me the stories of your fights with AJ, Sonny. But for some reason I wasn't allowed to call you a big ass hypocrite."_**

Lorenzo approaches Ric again, but Sonny pulls him back. **_"Let him talk Lo. Let him say what he wants. You're nothing but a pretty boy with a briefcase Ric."_**

"**_That may be, but I'm much smarter than you."_**

Sonny punches the wall. **_"Aw man. Here we go. I'm not having this whose encyclopedia is bigger argument with you. It's what's in the heart Buddy. I've always told you that. I gave you my sincerest apologies for what happened. Alexis accepted it. Why the hell can't you!"_**

"**_I just enjoy calling you on your code. That's all. Karma's a bitch."_**

----------------------------------------

"**_I can't talk to you long Zander."_** Alexis' hand barely remains still holding the phone to her ear.

Zander looks up the skyscraper and catches a gunman perched at the office window peeking out. He places the phone back on his ear. **_"Alexis! Where is my dad? Is he still alive?"_**

"**_Just stay calm especially around Kristina."_**

Zander looks up again even more frustrated by her subtlety. **_"She's asking me too many questions. What am I supposed to say? Both of your parents might die today?"_**

"**_Zander. Please stay positive. I will let nothing happen to Lorenzo. I promise." _**

----------------------------------------

Alexis lies back down on the couch. **_"I like to call them fatal errors."_**

Kevin leans back in his chair ready to listen to her again. **_"You call promises fatal errors?"_**

"**_Kevin, why did I make a promise to Zander that I couldn't keep?"_**

"**_You didn't know what was going to happen. So Kristina wants a popsicle that you promised her, but you ran out and the store is closed. That's a fatal error too?"_**

"**_Humor me Kevin."_**

"**_Alexis. I'm finding one of your issues is control. You think you have control over every situation, but you don't. And you have to start realizing that."_**

Alexis thinks for a moment. **_"But he gave me a choice. What the hell was I supposed to do then?"_**


	7. Chapter 7

November 10, 2005

"I Can't Do It Alone"

Alexis follows Kristina's big pencil across the lined paper with her finger. She looks down at the baby to make sure she's paying close attention.

"**_K"_** Alexis speaks perfectly as if it's the most important letter in the alphabet.

"**_Kkkkk."_** Kristina enunciates just like her Mommy while writing the biggest K that her pencil stroke can handle.

"**_Save some room for the other letters Kristina. Ok. 'R'."_**

"**_Rrrrr."_** She draws a tiny R next to the big K.

"**_Can I get an 'I' Little Miss Davis?"_**

"**_Yes Mommy. Iiiiiii."_** Kristina writes her 'I' and places her pencil down.

"**_Are you finished writing?"_**

"**_Time for Africa book Mommy. I go get it." _**

Kristina hops down from the chair in search of the big book. Alexis unfolds the _'Dear Kristina'_ letter and looks it over again. She remembers Sonny opening the book filled with animals of all different shapes and sizes. _"We can make up our own stories with this one."_ He used to say even when Kristina requested another book. He always managed to sell her on the best stories coming from the imagination.

"**_We can make up our own stories."_** Alexis whispers to herself as she folds the letter back up.

­­­­-------------------------------------------

The backyard starts to look more like home with his lawn chair stationed in the middle of the concrete back porch with everything within reach. Sonny steps down from the ladder after putting his finishing touches on the stuck awning positioned over his area of comfort. He notices Brooke Lynn enjoying the fruits of his labor while laid back in the chair lost in a book with her sunglasses on. His eyes scan across the yard to see how far he's gotten and how much further he has to go to make it seem like home again.

"**_Check out that tree Brooke Lynn."_** Sonny points to a huge tree sitting back in his yard.

She looks up from her book. **_"That's a big tree Uncle Sonny. What are you going to do with it?"_**

"**_We are going to build a tree house. It's something I always wanted to do, but my dad never had time. I need your help. Think like a four year old. So if you were going to design a tree house, what would it look like?"_**

Brooke Lynn ponders. **_"It'd have an internet connection. Preferably wireless."_**

Sonny throws his hands up. **_"Whatever happened to the basics? Don't you like the Easy Bake Oven?"_**

Brooke Lynn stands up, throws her hands on her hips, and stomps the ground. **_"That was totally a sexist comment."_**

Sonny's jaw drops. **_"I had an Easy Bake Oven Young Lady and I'm damn proud of it."_**

She blushes and tries not to laugh. **_"Don't ever admit that to anyone else. And if you mention it to my mom, it'll end up on Good Morning Benson Hurst."_**

Sonny stuffs his hands in his pockets and kicks at the specks of ants crawling near his area. **_"You wanna see my Easy Bake Oven?"_**

"**_Fine. Show me. I won't be impressed."_** She grins with that mischievous smile she inherited from her mother.

Sonny escorts Brooke Lynn through the backdoor of the house. **_"It's in the basement. I'll be right back."_**

He continues on down the stairs while Brooke Lynn walks through the dark corridor from the kitchen to the living room sniffing the moldy air. She runs her hand up and down the dusty stair banister and calls down to him. **_"Uncle Sonny! I got a challenge for you!" _**

Sonny yells up through the duct. **_"What! I think I found it!"_**

Brooke Lynn climbs onto the banister and looks downward towards the duct. **_"Let's have stair banister tournaments! My mom won't let me do this at home! It'll be fun!_**"

Sonny's brain freezes into a momentary trance as he looks upward noticing the flicker of her movements on the staircase. He drops the oven breaking it into pieces scattered along the concrete basement floor.

­­­­-------------------------------------------

"**_Your mom wanted me to keep you company. I'll keep you company alright. I'm gonna show you the art of breaking and entering into the Quartermaine mansion." _**

Sonny took Kristina's tiny hand and guided her up the walk of the Quartermaines. He opened the door jiggling the doorknob with his pocketknife. Kneeling down to Kristina, he tried to keep her attention already focused on the grand staircase in the front room.

"**_When I was little Kristina, we had a staircase in our house. No other house on the street had one like it. When my mommy, your grandmother, wasn't home, we had banister tournaments. I'll show you. We'll freak Edward out."_**

Sonny flicked on the lights in the Q foyer and rubbed his hands together at the thought of tackling the grand staircase.

"**_This Kristina is the most fun that you will have at my age. Guaranteed."_**

"**_Ok Daddy. Show me now."_**

Sonny picked Kristina up under her arms and carried her up the stairs.

"**_Remember. You can never do this alone."_**

He laid her on her tummy at the top of the staircase and held her tight helping her glide to the bottom.

"**_Ok Kristina. Keep your chin up and always hold tight."_**

"**_I wanna slide another way Daddy."_**

"**_This is the beginner's way of sliding. We'll learn another way next time."_**

­­­­-------------------------------------------

Brooke Lynn hears the crash and hops down racing towards the basement with Sonny rushing towards her. She notices the sweat beaming on his face and his breathing heavy.

"**_What's wrong Uncle Sonny?"_**

He touches his chest over his heart a little embarrassed from losing himself in the past.

"**_Don't scare me like that. You could hurt yourself. Your mother would kill me."_**

Brooke Lynn laughs it off. **_"Come on Uncle Sonny. It's no big deal. Stop freaking out over everything. Now you broke your oven."_**

Sonny studies the broken piece of his oven in his hand. **_"Why does everything seem to be falling apart? Is this my karma?" _**

­­­­-------------------------------------------

Alexis calls up the stairs knowing her daughter's precocious nature. **_"Have you not found the Africa book, Dear! Where did you leave it last time!"_**

Kristina wanders into her mother's bedroom searching as low and as high as she can reach for her storybook. She crawls under one end of Alexis' bed in deep search with the surprise of Uncle Ric waiting for her at the other end.

His angelic smile beams from ear to ear at finally getting the chance to talk to her again, but he tones it down after noticing the dim in her eyes. **_"Still can't find your book?"_**

Kristina's despondent face shatters. **_"Mommy lost it."_**

Ric helps Kristina up from the floor and points to the closet. **_"Do we think Africa book is in the closet?"_**

She shrugs her shoulders while Ric opens the closet door filled with neatly packed and sealed boxes. Clearing off the table of Kristina's supplies, Alexis stops for a moment. Instinctively, her heartbeat pulsates. She recalls exactly where she placed Kristina's precious Africa book.

­­­­-------------------------------------------

"**_You have no clue where the book went?"_** Kevin quizzes her trying to prompt her memory.

Alexis buries her face in her hands. **_"I do remember. And that's the problem. I was just on a rampage I guess. I had forgotten that she likes to read her books in my closet. It's so big and cozy all at the same time. But I had packed up the nursery and put Ricky's toys in there and I told her that we couldn't do closet time anymore until I had time to send everything away."_**

"**_You couldn't hire some big, strong, bulky boys to take everything away?"_**

"**_That's too logical Kevin. No. I wasn't ready to. So I sent a couple boxes off and I think…In fact I'm certain I put the Africa book in one of those boxes."_**

Kevin throws his head back and groans. **_"Ok. So Kristina's favorite storybook is on its way to charity. Nice."_**

"**_Don't believe for a minute that I don't feel bad. One minute I'm taking two steps forward and the next thing I know I've taken five steps backward."_**

Kevin thinks for a moment and tries to get the session back on track. **_"Alexis, looking at everything in perspective; deep down in your heart, did you feel like your loss of the baby was an accident?"_**

"**_Kevin, logically it was an accident although Ric didn't see it that way. I have no problem admitting that it took a little time for both of us to see it that way. Looking back at it now, I know it was an accident."_**

"**_Does any part of you resent Kristina for what happened?"_**

Alexis sits up in her chair with her eyes ready to fall from her head that he'd ever suggest such a thing.

"**_I could never ever resent Kristina for anything. I can't believe you'd even say such a thing."_**

"**_Alexis, you don't pay me to stroke your ego. Obviously Sonny realizes that or he'd be here too. You pay me for the gift of perspective."_**

"**_She is the most precious person in my life. I could never resent her. Don't ever go there again."_**

"**_I am just facilitating a conversation."_**

Alexis jumps up from the chair and grabs her coat. **_"We're finished. I'm done with this. I'm finding another shrink."_**

Kevin throws down his pen and points at her rushing for the door. **_"You'll be back. You always do this to me when I hit a nerve. But you'll be back."_**


	8. Chapter 8

November 20, 2005

DISCLAIMER: A portion of the ending of the chapter was removed to respect song copyright rules. The full chapter can be accessed at my fan fiction site or at www.justbreathe.tv.

"White Satin"

Alexis sat back and familiarized herself with her restraints while trying to drum up conversation with the man holding her hostage.

"**_I'm not exactly a praying woman." _**

"**_Is that so Ms. Davis?" _**The gunman continued to look out the window.

"**_Yea. Do you have any prayers you can share? Are you religious?"_**

The gunman pulled from the window and yanked out a chair across from her. He sat down and laid his rifle across his lap. **_"I'm pretty religious."_**

"**_Really? I couldn't tell. What is God telling you to do with me? I'd like to know what type of prayers I should be saying right now."_**

He threw back his head and laughed. **_"You're going to live Ms. Davis. Your friends. Not so much."_**

"**_You said I had a choice right?"_**

"**_You do and you have yet to choose. Shall I help you?"_**

Alexis yanked at the rope tying her hands behind her chair. Prayers for help flew through her head. **_"Well…"_**

"**_Let me help you Ms. Davis. There's Sonny Corinthos. I have every reason to blow him away. But then I thought about it. Torturing him during his last days in witness protection could be a whole lotta fun. What do you think?"_**

"**_Well. If killing Sonny keeps Kristina safe, then so be it. I have things that I hate about him. But, there are things that I love about him too."_**

"**_What about Ric Lansing? He's a schmuck. Big talker. What's your opinion on him?"_**

"**_Well. Our relationship didn't end so well, but we tried to remain civil for the sake of the firm. We almost had a son together, but things didn't work out."_**

"**_Whose fault was that?"_**

Alexis looked down trying not to remember. **_"I guess mine. I don't really know. I used to think it was Sonny's fault, but I had to learn to think rationally. This is saying a lot because he never thinks rationally. Not without my help at least."_**

"**_Strike three for Sonny huh?"_**

"**_Sure. Again. If you promise never to hurt my daughter, you can have him."_**

"**_What about Lorenzo Alcazar, Ms. Davis?"_**

"**_We had a rough start. His brother killed my sister and I killed his brother. So we're even. But if losing Lorenzo means that I lose Zander, then maybe I've made my choice."_**

The gunman stood up and walks towards the door.

"**_I'll have my men bring them in so you can say your last words to the unlucky two."_**

_**-----------------------------------**_

"**_Dear God. I really really need a new shrink." _**Alexis grabs tight to the blanket covering her shivering body. She sits up in Lorenzo's recliner realizing Viola's voice calling through the intercom.

Alexis jumps up from her daydream and presses the button. **_"I'm on my way over Viola. Tell Kristina I will find Africa book as soon as possible. I promise."_**

"**_She's not happy Alexis."_** Viola chimes back with an air of frustration.

"**_Try the park! It's a beautiful invention. I need a moment of silence!" _**

Not realizing her strength, Natasha rips the intercom box from the wall. She tosses it to the ground and takes a deep breath to hold back the tears.

"**_It's just post traumatic stress Alexis. Post traumatic stress."_** She tells herself. **_"Breathe deep. Nights in white satin. Nights in white satin. Black satin sheets…"_**

"**_You learned that breathing technique from me didn't you?"_** Lorenzo touches the small of her back to grab her attention.

"**_Your sheets are white satin. Sonny's are black. But the reason I'm focusing on white is not because I thought you were better, but because across the hall I have a very very unhappy miniature version of Michael Corinthos Jr. spitting bullets and I'd like to forget the man even exists right now."_**

"**_Need a drink? My treat."_** Lorenzo breaks out his gentlemen's smile.

She stares at the illusion of him waiting to entertain her. **_"Lorenzo, you're driving me to alcoholism and quite possibly a nervous breakdown."_**

"**_You wear it well Natasha. My white satin sheets thank you. Always."_**

_**-----------------------------------**_

"**_You did what with my father?"_** Zander uttered in total shock.

Alexis looked at her watch trying to avoid answering his questions. She flagged down the waiter hoping for a save.

"**_Alexis? You gonna answer my question?"_**

"**_It was a thing. A little thing. Did you enjoy your mashed potatoes? Were they lumpy?"_**

"**_Was it a fling thing? Or a relationship in the making thing?"_** Zander continued to prompt for answers.

Alexis tried to get the waiter's attention. **_"I really need something to breathe into right now. Is it hot in here to you?"_**

"**_Jesus Christ Alexis. You had sex with my dad. Not a big deal. I just wanna know what it means."_**

Alexis touched her chest and tried to breathe on track. **_"Don't worry. You will not have valid reasons to call me Mommy Dearest. It was merely a thing. A drunken thing. An Alexis is under a lot of stress thing. And sometimes Natasha doesn't want to behave. But why should she? She does whatever she wants to do and blames Alexis when she gets caught."_**

"**_Ok. Chill out. I hate it when you do that split personality thing."_** Zander shrugged his shoulder and continues to eat his potatoes.

Natasha yanked his plate from in front of him and grabbed him by the collar. **_"And don't you dare tell Sonny and Ric or you lose that portion of the Cassadine fortune that Alexis promised you. Ditto?"_**

Zander swallowed hard. **_"Ditto."_**

_**-----------------------------------**_

"**_Alexis here?"_** Sonny steps into the apartment practically torn to shreds. He picks up a piece of Barbie and spots Viola putting on her coat.

"**_I am so glad to see you Mr. Corinthos. I just got Kristina settled down. She's having a hard time with the loss of this book."_**

"**_What book?" _**

"**_The Africa book. We can't find it anywhere. I really have to go. Alexis is across the hall. I think she's having another moment."_**

Viola hurries out. Sonny starts to pick up the toys, but he stops when Alexis enters the room.

"**_Where is the Africa book?"_** He questions.

"**_Not you too."_** Alexis grabs her head and starts past him towards the balcony. She opens the glass doors and takes a gasp of fresh air.

"**_That's her favorite book. Michael gave her that book. It can't be replaced."_**

Alexis continues outside and leans on the balcony. His prodding digs up the Natasha deep inside. She turns to him practically ready to slit his throat.

"**_Let me explain something to you Corinthos! I know where the damn book went! I know exactly where to find it, but I can't for reasons that you will never understand! So go to hell!"_**

Sonny's face freezes in momentary fear for his life. She whizzes past him again and picks up _"The Cat in the Hat"_ from the table flinging it into his hands.

"**_Read that!"_** Natasha yells but immediately Alexis takes over and realizes her mistake.

He takes the book and calmly lays it on the table. **_"I really liked that book. That's all. No need to get upset."_**

She tries to fend off the wheezing brewing in her voice. **_"It's just that it's either in the boxes in my closet or in a set of boxes that went to the charity house. The only way I will know is if I open up every box and search."_**

"_**Still hard huh?**"_ Sonny tries to give her his dimpled smile, but she refuses to accept the subtle gift.

"**_Only if I have to open those boxes."_**

"**_If you'd prefer, I could search for you. Spare you that moment."_**

"**_That's very kind of you."_** Alexis finally returns the cheery gesture filled with relief that he's there.

Sonny places his coat on the table and starts upstairs while she throws her emotionally tired body onto the couch. He stops on the stairs and decides to approach her again.

"**_Alexis, I do understand it a little. I remember Carly and the nursery after we lost our son. So I kind of get it. You pack everything away hoping you've closed the door, but it always stays with you."_**

Alexis lies back and closes her eyes. **_"Yea. It does. I just don't want to talk about it right now."_**

He watches her finally at rest and waits for her nonsensical utterances she always manages to dig up from her unconscious before she fades. After minutes of nothing, he decides to save himself useless searching and check the table one more time for the book. He notices the letter unfolded under Kristina's writing pad.

"**_How did she get my letter?"_** His heart pulsates and his brain fills with questions of what she might know.

_**-----------------------------------**_

Since that day of choices that changed her life, every now and then she'd have flashes of light that flickered in her head. Some of them second thoughts and other times just plain guilt. Kevin typically called them warning signs. Sometimes she ignored them and other times they kept her awake and breathing almost too quickly to keep up with the speed of light.

She tries not to stir in her slumber. She ignores those warnings from Kevin despite the flickering spherical lights spinning to the point of nausea. Her body grows warm but a rupture of air hovers over her.

-----------Edited-----------


	9. Chapter 9

**_My apologies to all my readers, but I am just now realzing that the formatting isn't breaking up my scenes as intended. Hopefully the reading hasn't been too confusing._**

November 21, 2005

"**Out of the Mouths of Babes"**

Staring at the letter, the words that Sonny thought were there when he wrote it become something else each time he looks it over. He had spent all of his life surrounded by powerful men; all of them able to shield everything from the dark secrets of his poor mental health to his inabilities, at times, to conduct business on his own. He thought they would always be there to catch him when he fell, but even his only true savior in Alexis barely touched the surface of understanding who he really was. From the beginning of his new life forward, he spent his days and nights speechless by her. Not really sure what to say to her about the day she saved his life.

She always managed to intimidate him even without even trying. And he always made every effort to avoid her when Ric was still alive. Ric always knew what buttons to push when it came to Sonny and he knew how the make the whole room a tinge embarrassed when the three of them were lucky to congregate.

Sonny longed for the day that Kristina was old enough to understand and give out that mind-numbing advice that her aunt Kristina used to give about planets and dogs named Pluto. Or was it just planets spinning with no dogs involved? He couldn't really remember a lot. Much he often tried to forget.

He often found much pleasure in spending his days with Brooke Lynn. She was young enough to allow him to live the pleasantries of childhood, but she was mature enough to just listen and completely get where he was coming from.

Lois had just dropped her off for the day with a treat that she was supposed to share with her Uncle Sonny of vanilla ice cream with vanilla bean specks. But after opening the carton, Sonny shakes his head with a "no."

"**_I hate vanilla bean specks. It's like eating ants."_** He declares with disappointment in his voice.

Brooke Lynn takes a spoon and digs in straight from the carton. **_"More for me."_**

He grabs the letter and playfully yanks at the sleeve of her dress.

"_**Ok Brooke Lynn. Let's try this again. Can I explain this letter to you as if you were Alexis?" **_

Sonny leans in to Brooke Lynn starting a staring war with her pretending to only have eyes for her ice cream. She tries to hold back a giggle, but his keen smile breaks her.

"_**I can't do it Uncle Sonny. I can't be Alexis."**_

"_**At least you tried huh?"**_

"_**How is she?"**_

"_**They kept her overnight. They said it was a small breakdown."**_

Brooke Lynn finishes what she can eat of her ice cream. **_"What was her breakdown about?"_**

"_**She's got a lot on her mind I guess."**_

"_**My mom said you should see a shrink too Uncle Sonny."**_

"_**Why would she say that?"**_

"_**Cause I told her about the oven incident. Obviously little things bother you sometimes and we worry. Can't leave Kristina an orphan can we? We had that close call already."**_

* * *

Ric raced in front of Alexis down the trail to open the door of Kelly's before her in his gentlemen's fashion. She thanked him with a grin and they walked in together catching Bobbie's attention. She met them at a table nestled in the corner. 

"_**Ok. You two are smiling. What happened?"**_

Ric put his hand over Alexis' mouth before she could say another word. **_"Uh uh Alexis. I don't want to know."_**

Alexis pushed his hand away and ignored his request. **_"We just got back from the doctor's office and I know the sex of the baby, but Ric over here doesn't want to know like it's gonna matter."_**

Bobbie laughed. **_"I think I understand where Ric is coming from. It's your first right Ric?"_**

"_**Yea. And I want some surprises. And while you're here, can we get two protein shakes Bobbie?"**_

"_**Sure. Alexis, come to the counter before you leave so I can know what to bring to the baby shower."**_

"_**I will Bobbie. Scratch one protein shake and bring me a latté."**_

Ric threw his gloves onto the table and gave her his disapproving look. **_"You're not drinking a latté."_**

Alexis scoffed and threw her head back. **_"The hell I'm not. Are you still grumpy from earlier?"_**

"_**Grumpy? What do you mean? I'm excited."**_

"**_We're having a son. Haha." _**She stuck her tongue out at him watching his face turn shades of red.

"_**You're such a bitch."**_

"**_I try." _**Alexis mouthed a thank you to the waitress for their drinks.

"_**You serious? It's really a boy?"**_

Alexis took a sip of her latté and nodded her head.

Ric jumped onto the table and danced a quick jig.**_ "WhoHoo! It's a boy!" _**

"**_Please stop embarrassing me."_** She looked up at him on the table towering above her.

"_**That's what you get for telling me in public Babydoll. Can I strip?"**_

"_**Please don't. Get down and drink your nasty ass shake. Down Little Ricky. Down."**_

Ric jumped down from the table and gulped down his shake to the last drop. He slammed his cup down onto the table and danceed around some more. **_"Little Ricky. I like that."_**

"_**Maybe I shouldn't have told you."**_

Bobbie came back over to the table.**_ "I'm guessing it's a boy."_**

* * *

"**_Yes Bobbie. It's a boy."_** She murmurs to herself in a half dream. 

Alexis opens her eyes not really sure of her surroundings. The nurse readjusts her IV and says a couple of words to the man blurry to her eyesight standing by the door. He motions over to her and sits on the bed by her feet. She tries to smile at him, but she fails not feeling it in her heart at the moment.

"**_Why don't you ever call me Alexis?" _**Stefan questions her not really expecting an answer.

She tries to sit up, but he forces her to stay down.

"_**Stefan, what happened to me?"**_

"_**Sonny called and said that you were across the hall in a bit of a fit. He said he didn't really know what to do, but that he understood. How about a couple days at Wyndemere? In fact, why don't you and Kristina move back to Port Charles?"**_

"_**I appreciate the offer Stefan, but my practice is here in the city."**_

"_**You almost died in that law firm and it was all Sonny's fault. But I try not to say a word about it. I know that you're under a lot of stress already and Helena is still lurking about. Is there anything that I can do to make your healing processes easier?"**_

"_**After Sonny is finished looking for Kristina's book, would you take all the boxes away?"**_

"_**Is that all you want? I can do more Alexis?"**_

"_**Believe me. I'll be able to breathe a lot easier. I just need to get them out of my head."**_

* * *

"_**Don't think I've forgotten about you and Lorenzo."**_

She avoided Ric breeching the subject again of finding her and Lorenzo in a perceptually compromising position in her office.

"_**Ric, that's Lorenzo. That's what he does. He's very touchy-feely. Don't take it personal."**_

"_**And I'm supposed to be ok with that?"**_

Alexis touched her stomach and pretended discomfort. **_"You're upsetting Little Ricky. Don't raise your voice Dear."_**

Ric grabbed at his hair. **_"What!"_**

"_**See. You just raised your voice, which causes Little Ricky to kick harder than normal. I don't like that. In fact, I get the feeling that you and Little Ricky are ganging up on me."**_

Ric started to laugh. **_"That's my boy."_**

_**"Until he kicks Natasha. I'll give him something to cry about."**_

"_**That's seriously not fair Alexis. I hate it when you bring up Natasha."**_

"_**Why is that Ric?"**_

"_**Only Lorenzo knows the difference between Alexis and Natasha."**_

"_**Not true. There is a distinct difference. You just need to learn to pay attention to me. It's called trying to make a relationship work without that institution called marriage. It's about me Ric. Not you and your insecurities which you use to make fun of Sonny."**_

"_**Are you saying that the day I propose marriage, you'll say no?"**_

"_**Of course I'll say no. How else am I supposed to be justifiably touchy-feely with Lorenzo with no guilt?"**_

Ric furrowed his brow. **_"You be better Natasha losing her damn mind right now."_**

* * *

Brooke Lynn settles down next to Sonny on the stairs. She looks over at his progressive doodling on the pad that Alexis gave to him. 

"_**What's so bad about talking to a shrink Uncle Sonny?"**_

"**_Sign of weakness."_** He says to her without looking up from his drawing.

"_**So is Alexis weak because she talks to Kevin all the time?"**_

"_**You ask too many questions Kid."**_

"_**How else am I supposed to learn if I don't ask questions? How come you only ask my point of view when you need something? Can't you just hold a conversation to relate to rest of the human species?"**_

Sonny looks up at Brooke Lynn visibly frustrated by his tune out.

"_**What do you want me to say Kid? I just wanna draw on my pad right now and not talk about anything."**_

"_**Don't you want to visit Alexis? I'll go with you."**_

Sonny thinks for a moment and a smile beams wide across his face. **_"I just thought of something. Jesus was a carpenter."_**

With exasperation, Brooke Lynn darts up from the stairs and heads towards the door.

"_**I'm leaving. You're not making sense."**_

He lays down his pad and gives her his full attention. **_"Don't leave. I have many ideas for this place. I noticed my mother's rosary sitting across the room."_**

Sonny points out the artifact draped around a picture of his grandmother on a table near the couch. Brooke Lynn leans on the door ready to bolt from his childish air.

"_**What's with you when it comes to Alexis? Did something happen? I just don't remember her being so…"**_

"…**_Uncertain?"_** He injects.

"_**Yea. I guess. Can't really put my finger on it. What happened with you guys? Why did Ric and Lorenzo die and you lived? Did you save her life and decide to change yours too? You ask me so many questions about stuff like why people make the choices that they make and then you don't tell me why you're asking."**_

"**_I don't like to explain myself. I never have." _**Sonny smiles at her again.

"_**You're hopeless Uncle Sonny."**_

"_**There are just things that I choose not to remember. Do you still have nightmares?"**_

"_**I'm a little old for those."**_

"_**You're never too old. I have them all the time. I don't deserve Alexis' choice, but I'm glad she made it." **_


	10. Chapter 10

December 9, 2005

Good Morning Bensonhurst

Kevin paces back and forth between his desk and the door adding fuel to the fire of Lucy's headache from observing him from his desk chair.

"**_I'm shocked that she didn't call me."_** Kevin slams Alexis' file down onto his desk.

"**_Doc, what did you do to her?"_** Lucy questions knowing Kevin's knack for making Alexis squirm.

"**_Nothing."_** He throws back without missing a minute's pace.

Lucy prods his agitated state. **_"You miss her don't you?" _**

"_**Maybe just a little."**_

* * *

"**_He hasn't even called me to ask how I'm doing. No fruit basket. No free medication samples. What kind of psychiatrist is he!"_** Alexis questions Stefan with a seriousness in her eyes that keeps him from breaking out in a smile at her expense. 

"**_What did you do to him?"_** He tries to hold back the cynicism.

Alexis' jaw hits the ground. **_"What did I do to him! Why do you assume I did something to him?"_**

"**_It was just a suggestion. Why don't you find another shrink? I don't really understand the concept of psychiatry anyway. We were born screwed up. Nothing can fix that."_**

* * *

Lucy continues to pry. **_"Doc, isn't it bad when one of your patients has a nervous breakdown?"_**

"_**It's her own fault Lucy. She left me before the breakdown so it doesn't count."**_

Lucy shakes her head unconvinced. **_"Ok Doc. Whatever."_**

* * *

Alexis sits down across from Stefan to continue her point. **_"Kevin understands me. He's like a really great gay man."_**

Stefan tries to follow her logic by staring her deep in the eyes and seeming intrigued. **_"But Kevin's married to Lucy."_**

"**_Stefan, I can't explain it. But I know I'd have no problem kicking his ass out of bed. I could never love him like that. He wouldn't even get through the bedroom door."_**

Stefan thinks for a moment and smiles. **_"Remember when you told me you could never kick me out of bed? Was that the connotation of your statement? Something of a sexual nature?"_**

Alexis gasps and grabs her heart. **_"I think it was Natasha that made that comment. She's down with incest. Not me."_**

* * *

Lois looks up briefly from her final revision of the script. She hears Sonny enter the studio and acknowledges him with a wave before going back to her work. Sonny grips his hands together ready to beg. **_"I need a huge favor Lois."_**

"**_No."_** She doesn't bat an eye behind her rejection.

He drums up ammo for round two of begging. **_"Why not? You'll love it."_**

Lois looks at him knowing the meaning behind those words. **_"Remember the last time you said that to me Sonny Corinthos?"_**

Sonny thinks back for a moment and snaps back to reality shrugging his shoulders in confusion. **_"You're gonna have to jog my memory."_**

Lois stands up and pulls out the finger of emotion. The one that controls all body motion namely the angry head slinging with the grace of an Italian diva.

"_**Ok. I will. Remember junior high school? During recess. Your exact words to me, Lois Cerullo, were, maybe not exact but an exact replication, '**Lois do me a favor and lift up your shirt because you're gonna love it**.' Next thing you know, bada bing! I, Lois Cerullo, was suspended from school for a week and grounded for a month and forced to eat Momma Cass' beets on Sundays. How many Italian women do you know that make beets more or less eat them? I'm not bitter at all."**_

"**_I couldn't tell."_** Sonny pulls himself back avoiding the wrath of the finger. **_"Listen Lois. It's simple. I just want some airtime on Good Morning Bensonhurst. That's all."_**

Lois throws her hands on her hips surprised that he'd ask such a thing. **_"What do you want to say? I don't want anybody shooting up my studio afterwards."_**

He stuffs his hands in his pockets and starts to blush. **_"I'm a romantic. Let's put it that way."_**

* * *

Stefan makes himself more comfortable in her living room. She steps out of her kitchen with a steaming hot mug cradled in her sleeved hands. She sits down next to him and crosses her legs bundling herself up more in her sweater before offering him some of what's in her mug. **_"Coffee singed with Amaretto?" _**

He refuses it with a shake of his head. **_"Not my kind of drink. But thank you for your hospitality."_**

"**_Stefan, are you insulting my coffee without actually insulting my coffee?"_**

He grins. **_"In the most sophisticated way possible." _**

"_**Can you tell that I'm avoiding all of the questions that I know are running through your head?"**_

"**_Alexis, with you, I've learned not to ask questions. But then I think maybe if I did, I'd really understand your pain. I guess since the Russian side of us always seems to shine through, I rarely notice your true feelings. I become immune to human nature. I admit I sometimes forget what it means to have a sister."_**

"**_You got that off of a greeting card."_** Alexis, smitten over his handsome features, blushes at Stefan and tries to cover her face with her mug. The mutual tension between the two transmits across the steam from Alexis' coffee.

Stefan breaks the moment and changes the subject. **_"So where does Sonny live?"_**

"_**In a Spiderman tent."**_

He catches himself from laughing. **_"You're joking."_**

"_**Don't ask. Seriously. The man is nuttier than me yet I'm the one taking monthly trips to the psych ward."**_

"**_It's called his lack of conscious. He feels nothing. No pain. No love. Therefore whatever happened means nothing to him." _**

* * *

Sonny falls to his knees for another round of begging. Lois continues to ignore him in her rush to finish up her schedule. 

"**_Five minute Lois. Five. F-I-V-E."_** Sonny emphasizes his point by flashing his fingers at Lois.

"**_Ok. Ok! Chill out. You get two minutes Sonny. Two. T-W-O. I'm cutting you off mid-sentence! So none of that slow, low talking crap!"_**

* * *

Alexis chases the last of her coffee with a tinge of Brandy. 

"**_When did you start drinking Brandy?"_** Stefan questions.

Alexis raises her glass. **_"My Dear brother. We have to toast."_**

He raises his glass to hers. **_"Toast to?"_**

"_**Your very persuasive nature. I'd still be in that godforsaken hospital if it weren't for you."**_

"**_I highly doubt that Alexis. You're one of the sanest people that I know."_**

They click their glasses in quiet celebration, but Alexis puts hers down and walks towards her stereo.

"**_I almost forgot. Do you care if I turn on the radio? Lois does this show called Good Morning Bensonhurst and she makes us all listen to it. And she quizzes."_**

"_**Really? Interesting."**_

"**_She's having some shrink on the show today. The genius of love or something like that. I wanna see if I get good vibes from him. I might consider switching."_**

Kevin tunes in his radio. **_"Lucy, I'm a little offended that Lois hasn't asked me to be on her radio show."_**

"**_It's entertainment Doc. They're not certified. She told me so."_**

"**_She's had at least a dozen psychiatrists on there. Certified or not. I'd do it for free."_**

* * *

Just in time for the start of the show, Alexis races out of the kitchen practically stupid with her glass filled to the brim. Stefan furrows his brow. 

"**_Would you slow down Alexis? Should you be mixing that with whatever the doctor has you taking?"_**

Alexis relaxes on the couch. **_"Anything to get through Lois' screeching for the hour. I'll share?"_**

Alexis hands Stefan her glass, but he gives it back. **_"I trust this is your last. You better sip my Dear."_**

* * *

The engineer signals to Lois. 

"**_Ok. Are we ready to be on the air?"_** She yells. **_"Five. Four. Three. Two. Good Morning Benson Hurst! Today's segment is going to be very informative because I have Tom Club on the show who's going to show us how to put a little pep in our step in the romance arena. Speaking of romance..."_**

Lois stares across the room at Sonny waiting for his signal to go.

"…**_My good friend Sonny, future Yankee slash underwear model slash Ty Pennington's bitch is here today for TWO minutes of airtime. He's a former mobster. But I swear he's no longer in the business so don't even think about putting bullet holes in my studio or there will be hell to pay!"_**

The engineer gives Lois the signal to cut her ranting. Alexis rises up from the couch in a trance gripping tight onto her glass.

Lois continues. **_"What do you want to say Sonny? Go for it. The airwaves are yours now…"_**

Everything inside of Sonny immediately goes blank. Kevin throws his hands on his face beet-red with embarrassment. Lucy pokes Kevin in the arm.

"_**What do you think he's gonna say Doc?"**_

"**_I don't know. Hell I don't wanna know. Alexis probably told him to kill me so he's threatening my ass on the air. Just be ready to drive me to the airport."_**

Alexis moves in closer to the radio with baited breath practically able to hear Sonny's nervous breathing. Lois taps her fingers on the counter and tries not to blow a fuse from Sonny's frozen stare into the microphone.

"**_Sonny! Two minutes! Get on it!" _**Lois shouts at him from across the room.

He wakes up and grabs the microphone. **_"Lois, I think I love you and I was just wondering if you'd go out with me."_**

**_------------------_**

For Alexis, the world stops for a long minute; until the snifter holding what was left of her Brandy crumbles in her hand. Stefan hurries over to her after noticing the blood escaping her palm from the cutting glass.

**_------------------_**

Kevin kicks back in his chair in relief, but Lucy looks at him astonished by what she heard.

**_"Doc, did Sonny just ask Lois out on the air?"_**

Kevin nods. **_"I just thank God I'm going to live and I might have just scored my favorite patient back. I thoroughly enjoy other people's insanity."_**


	11. Chapter 11

December 23, 2005

**Strong Like Bull**

Lorenzo tried to enjoy what wasleft of his meal amidst Ric's conspicuous unhappiness with him.

**_"You know what Ric? I think you're just insecure. You should've known that when you started dating her."_**

Lorenzo grabbed his water to take a sip, but Ric placed a tight hold on his arm before hecould touch the glass to his lips.

**_"Ric, let go of my arm. It's not that deep."_**

**_"Lorenzo, I came to you as a friend in need of advice about my failing relationship with Alexis and then I find out that you're pursuing her too. So yea I'm a tad bit bitter."_**

**_"I wasn't pursing Alexis. We were going over case files. Ric, you're one of my best friends. You stood up for me when no one else would, as did Alexis. Her defense of me was conditional and yours wasn't so I appreciate you for that. I'm not gonna do your pregnant girlfriend even if she told me to tell you it's over."_**

Lorenzo stuffed a fork full of food into his mouth and avoided all eye contact with Ric.

"**_She told you what?"_** Ric's questions yielded nothing but silence from Lorenzo.

**_"Sorry Ric. That was all kinds of wrong. As your good friend, I feel the need to tell you that I think you and Alexis are over."_**

"_**She told you to tell me that? You? Tell me? That we're over?"**_

"_**I told her it was wrong of me to even get involved, but she didn't…"**_

"…_**She didn't what?"**_

"**_Just blame the pregnancy. Hormones. That's why I didn't even bother. She told me this info like a week ago. She hasn't even asked if I told you yet. I think she's bluffing_**."

Ric thrre his napkin onto the table and requested the check from the nearest waiter.

"_**Lorenzo, it was nice knowing you. I'm going to Kelly's for a cheap beer."**_

"**_Ric, come on Man. I am honest when I say that nothing has ever or would happen between Alexis and me."_**

**_

* * *

"For the love of God why does this always happen to me?"_** Alexis tries to hold back the tears of pain as the nurse examines her hand for more glass. 

**_"Alexis. When did you become so accident-prone? How did you manage to break a glass in your hand?"_**

Alexis looks up at Stefan leaned patiently on the doorframe of the hospital room.

**_"Sometimes I don't know my strength I guess."_**

Stefan takes her free hand in his**_. "You're welcome to squeeze my head my Dear. Just give me a warning."_**

The nurse bandages Alexis' hand. **_"No need for all of that. We're finished and lucky that the glass was thin."_**

"_**I always buy the best crystal."**_

The nurse gathers all of her materials and heads for the door. **_"I am done and you are free to go Alexis. Try not to stress out too much."_**

"**_I will."_** Alexis examines her bandaged hand.

"**_I'm guessing something that Sonny said upset you."_** Stefan inquires.

"_**He always upsets me. But really sometimes I fight with myself. Sometimes Natasha and I don't get along. She's just like Sonny. She has no conscious. At least she pretends not to."**_

"_**Well you're gonna have to tell Natasha to get lost."**_

**_"Oh no. I can't do that. She's really important to me. She's my strength. She's strong like bull."_**

Stefan nods his head and smiles. **_"She's a defense mechanism."_**

"_**I know what those are, but she's not in any of Freud's theories. I do know she rarely if ever gives a damn."**_

"_**She lives by the creed of carpe diem."**_

"_**Exactly."**_

"_**She gets you out of those emotional binds. She allows you the opportunity to be void of any type of social responsibility."**_

Alexis ponders for a moment. **_"Right?"

* * *

_**

"_**Sonny Corinthos, do you know in how many cities my show is syndicated?"**_

Sonny tries to remained focus on Lois embarking on her angry rant.

"_**Uh. Five or six."**_

"_**Oh. You wanna be a wiseguy. A smart-alec. An ass. I see."**_

**_"You asked a question and I'm giving you an answer."_**

"_**Let me break it down for you. After your on the radio marriage proposal…"**_

"…**_Marriage proposal?" _**Sonny practically falls out of his chair.

**_"Shut up and listen! Miguel all the way in Puerto Rico calls to congratulate me. Guess who else called?"_**

"_**Who?"**_

"_**Brenda from London."**_

Sonny's eyes grow wide. **_"For real?"_**

"_**Yea. She said she had no clue that you had those feelings for me and had she known she would not have gone through all of the crap the two of you went through all of those years. She did laugh after she said it so I'm guessing it was her long and round about way of saying congratulations."**_

"_**Can I explain something Lois? Listen. I just went blank. I had to do something. I just couldn't do what I wanted to do…"**_

"…_**So you used me? You don't really love me?"**_

"_**Uh. I do love you, but like a little sister. That's it."**_

"_**I was used?"**_

**_"Kind of."_**

"_**I don't know if I can forgive you for this."**_

"_**Can I still sleep on your couch until you figure it out?"

* * *

**_

Lorenzo finished up his reading and gaveAlexis his attention. **_"Why don't you go see Ric?"_**

"_**It's not something that I woke up this morning and decided I needed to do. I just don't think Ric and I are compatible."**_

"_**You don't need to explain that to me. You need to explain it to Ric. Just like you explained to Sonny that his daddy duties were not needed any longer."**_

"_**It wasn't exactly like that. I just told him that these threats he's been getting are wearing on my nerves and I moved to the city to get away from them. I've done so much more than I've needed to do in that relationship. Kristina and I take that four-hour trek to Port Charles for visits on his terms every freaking weekend. By the end of it I'm tired and annoyed. She's tired and annoyed. And then he's just annoyed so it never ends well."**_

"_**Speaking of Port Charles. We have to meet Justus there next week for that civil case."**_

**_"Right. I haven't forgotten."_**

"_**Ric is already there so maybe you should break the news then."**_

"_**Or you could. Friend. You owe me."**_

"_**We've been even for a long time Alexis."**_

"_**I'm giving your son part of the Cassadine fortune. You owe me. You're telling Ric that it's over or Natasha will see to it that you don't wake up the next morning."

* * *

**_

"**_It's not that I used you. It's just that I have trouble expressing myself to her."_** Sonny tries to explain himself.

"_**Alexis?"**_

"_**Yea. There's a lot of guilt in me and she's always tried to help whether she realizes it or not."**_

"_**Why don't you write her a letter?"**_

Sonny drops his head towards the ground and runs his fingers through his hair.

"_**She's not into that kind of thing. I'm not really good with words."**_

"_**You're a smooth talker Corinthos. Just write it down. It's simple."**_

"_**Writing and talking is like trying to walk and chew gum at the same time. I can't."**_

"_**Brooke Lynn can write and you talk. What about that?"**_

"_**You're not gonna take no for an answer are you?"**_

"_**You want a nice warm couch or your backyard Superman tent? Stop playing games Corinthos. Just do it. Whatever it is you want to do with her. I'm not exactly sure and I don't need to know, but obviously it's a roadblock in you figuring stuff out."**_

Sonny crosses his arms and tries to hold back a smile**_. "I just know that Alexis is progressive. After one experience she always goes for something better."_**

"_**That's human nature."**_

"_**I know. But I know she loved Ric who was this smart, Ivy League brat and then I heard through the grapevine that she was falling for Lorenzo who was just as intelligent and quite suave I might add. I don't even fit into the same category as those guys now."**_

"_**They're dead Sonny. It doesn't matter."**_

"_**It does matter. She's holding on to them. They still mean everything to her. She bought Lorenzo's apartment after he died."**_

"_**For Zander maybe?"**_

"_**No. He doesn't live there. No one does."**_

Lois scrounges up her face. **_"Why don't you just live there?"_**

"_**That's my point Lois. I'm not good enough anymore. I have no job. No education. Nothing."**_

"_**You are a loser. How the hell was I offended by rejection like ten minutes again?"**_

Sonny can't help but laugh. **_"One thing Alexis does not do better than you is reverse psychology."

* * *

_**

The gunmen lined them up along her wall. Each of them, Lorenzo, Ric, and Sonny, an important part of her life. The lament filled her heart. They didn't make it easier with the combination of dimples, gentlemen smiles, and witty speak. Instead of looking at them, she looked upward and continued her prayers…Alexis wakes herself up quickly to the sound Stefan combing through one of the boxes.

"**_I have a question."_** She projects her voice to him across the room to her closet.

"_**Sure. I'm listening."**_

"_**Have you ever had a terrible nightmare that inches towards a really bad ending?"**_

Stefan stops his search and brushes off his pants, dusty from the debris of the boxes**_. "If you count Helena, I'd say yes. But that nightmare still continues."_**

"_**No really. When I sleep at night, the day Ric and Lorenzo were killed plays in my head. It always starts right where it last ended. And it's inching closer to that part that I'd like to forget. What do I do?"**_

"_**I don't know if I'm the one to ask Alexis. You might wanna try Kevin on that one."**_

"_**If I can dig an apology out of him first."**_

Stefan goes back into the closet and continues his searching.

**_"No luck finding the Africa book? It's really big. How I managed to put it in one of those boxes is beyond me."_**

Stefan closes up the last box and steps out of the closet.

**_"No luck Alexis. I have a feeling that you sent it away."_**

Alexis covers her face with a deep sigh. **_"I have a feeling Kristina's going to lynch me on Oprah in ten years."_**


	12. Chapter 12

January 7, 2006

"_**Keeping Up Appearances"**_

"**DER KRISTINA**

**im deqq my knew lief won yor mom anad her 8ret eybe sinb me to a qlac taht I nuver deleve id sea aqain. I nuver felt so loin ore I have all I no is tatt qlace off tin re wind me of what I nuver want to com it semes taht it be com evin biq me."**

Brooke Lynn's eyes bug from her head and she tries to catch her jaw from dropping to the ground. She finds a corner at the bottom of the stairwell to discover more of the letter. Intrigued, she barely notices him walk down the stairs and peer over the piece of paper, folded and unfolded by the various curious eyes. The paper swiftly pulls up from her hand piercing it with a stinging cut. Brooke Lynn gasps and looks up at Sonny, his face pained at causing her wound. Fraught with remorse, he quickly grabs a towel thrown over the chair and kneels down to wrap Brooke Lynn's hand.

**_"It's ok Uncle Sonny. It's just a paper cut."_**

_**"I'm sorry Brooke Lynn. I just overreacted."**_

"_**I shouldn't have read your letter. Should I?"**_

Brooke Lynn fumbles with the cloth wrapped around her hand hoping to avoid his eyes.

**_"I'm not exactly sure if you should or shouldn't read my letter. I know you have questions."_**

Brooke Lynn breaks her attention from the cloth to look at him.

**_"My mom said that I was supposed to help you do something. Something about a letter to Alexis."_**

"_**Your mom is persistent isn't she?"**_

**_"Yea. She said something about writing and chewing at the same time."_**

Sonny sits down next to Brooke Lynn at the end of the stairs and hands her the letter, but she pushes it away.

**_"That's ok. You don't have to let me read it. I don't really understand it anyway."_**

"_**Would you laugh if I told you a secret?"**_

She notices the delicate vexation ensuing to his face usually so confident.

**_"No. I won't laugh."_**

Sonny looks away and drums up the courage to tell her the truth. **_"Brooke Lynn, I don't exactly know how to read and write."_**

Brooke Lynn clears her throat not sure of what to say. **_"Like English?"_** She shakes her head annoyed at her own response. **_"You're so stupid Brooke Lynn."_**

"_**No you're not. What are you supposed to say? Tough luck?"**_

**_"I'm just a little surprised I guess. It doesn't make sense. How do you not know how to read and write?"

* * *

_**

"**_You're home."_** Alexis exclaims after flinging the door open to Nik with Kristina in his arms. She covers them both with hugs and kisses. **_"I'm so glad to see you Niki."_**

"**_It's good to see you too. You seem well?"_** Nik questions while not sure if he should breech the subject.

"**_Oh. I'm great."_** Alexis declares to him with spunk in her movements. **_"Give me my Precious."_** Alexis steals Kristina from Nik's arms while he places Lamby on the table and points out to her his gift to Kristina.

**_"Kristina and I spent the afternoon at Build-a-Bear. Warning. I told her she had to name him something other than Lamby in order to not hurt Lamby's feelings."_**

Alexis nods to Nik trying to follow. **_"Ok. So. You're trying to replace Lamby?"_**

**_"No. Just supplementing Lamby."_**

Alexis studies Kristina's new bear; its fur of manufactured blue.

**_"Nik, I swear I'm not a traditionalist in any way, shape, or form, but why is no-name bear blue?"_**

"**_Yea. That's my warning. Kristina specifically picked out a blue bear and she named him baby Ricky."_** Nik cringes.

"**_That he name!"_** Kristina blurts out with a proud grin garnishing her face.

Alexis whispers over Kristina's head to Nik.**_ "We couldn't find another name?"_**

Nik shrugs his shoulders. **_"I tried Alexis. She's persistent."_**

Alexis places Kristina on the table and pulls Nik aside. **_"She's three and short."_**

**_"I'm sorry Alexis. I guess she remembers Ricky."_**

Alexis crosses her arms and looks over at Kristina sitting on the table filled with content combing the fur of her blue bear.

"**_I don't understand the whole concept."_** Alexis exclaims flipping her bangs from her face.

"**_What concept?"_** Nik questions.

**_"Purple dinosaurs. Blue bears. It's like a whole big acid trip."_**

Nik laughs and eases up his stature. **_"Wow. Uncle said they found you and the record player had Moody Blues playing in the background. Very tripy."_** Nik continues to laugh. **_"So where you buying this stuff Alexis?"_**

She eyes him until the coldness wipes the smile from his face. He straightens up and turns serious. **_"My bad. I just happened to see the medical report and…"_** He decides not to dig his hole any deeper and change the subject. **_"So how exactly did you explain everything to Kristina? Like how did you explain Baby Ricky?"_**

"_**I didn't. Everything happened so quickly. It was like **'let's rain on Alexis' parade.'** And then after it all happened, I thought I'd have some type of support, but it seems like everyone kind of fell into his or her own funk. Zander stopped speaking to me because of his father. Ned gave me the big **'I told you so' **speech. Sonny had his 150th breakdown. Stefan kept trying to make me move back to Port Charles. You were busy dealing with your Stavros issues…"  
**_

**_"…I'm sorry I wasn't there for you Alexis. I truly am."_**

Alexis takes Nik's hands in hers. **_"You're here now and that's all that matters. I am taking it all one step at a time and trying to solve everyone else's issues while I'm at it. I actually enjoy this. Whatever this is. Sometimes I'm up. Sometimes I'm down. Sometimes four to five non-existent people talk to me and Kevin has to decipher. But at the end of the day, I read Little One a bedtime story, throw back a couple shots of Jack, and I'm a happy girl; until the scenes chronologically play back in my head in what seems like real time."

* * *

_**

**_"Uncle Sonny, explain your letter to me."_**

"**_I tried to do that, but you didn't want me to." _**Sonny opens up the letter and lays it flat on the table. **_"It is what you see."_**

Brooke Lynn takes the letter and looks it over again. **_"Please explain how you were a powerful mobster yet you can't read and write."_**

"_**Have you ever heard the phrase keeping up appearances?"**_

"**_Well I've seen the show on PBS. There's this British woman. Her name is Mrs. Bucket, but she tells everyone it's Bouquet."_** Brooke Lynn giggles. **_"Anyway, she wants people to believe she's like this aristocrat when she's really not. Is that what you mean?"_**

Sonny nods in agreement. **_"Right. I was lucky. I was surrounded by smart people. Benny, my accountant, God rest his soul…in preparation for meetings he used to go over documents with me. I used to have to memorize what he told me."_**

Brooke Lynn's eyes grow wide. **_"Benny knew you didn't know how to read and write?"_**

**_"They all knew. Benny, Johnny, Max, Marco, Renaldo, Jason…"_**

"**_Jason knew?"_** Brooke Lynn questions a bit more surprised.

**_"Yea. But they were there for me every step of the way. So not having them right now is very difficult. It's just me."_**

**_"Well and me too. I know now. I guess you haven't told Alexis and my mom obviously doesn't know. Did you skip school a lot?"_**

**_"It's not that I never tried to learn. I just have trouble focusing. There was a lot going on in my life during grade school when I should have been learning. What I see on paper and what comes from my pen obviously isn't the same thing. If you wrote down on paper for me Mrs. Bucket versus Mrs. Bouquet, I wouldn't really be able to understand the difference."

* * *

_**

"**_You did such a perfect job writing your name."_** Alexis points out to Kristina her name on the writing pad. **_"I think you are ready for boarding school."_**

"**_Yes. Momma."_** Kristina grabs her pencil and continues writing.

Alexis looks up across the table at Ric grinning at her and Kristina from ear to ear. She quickly places her hand over Kristina's eyes. **_"What are you doing here Ric?"_**

"**_Just remove your hand. She can't see me Alexis."_** Ric assures her with his smile dissipating from his face. **_"I'm here to talk to you."_**

She becomes speechless and fights to get her thought processes in order. **_"We haven't conversed since you found it necessary to tease me about Sonny."_**

**_"I shouldn't have done that. But I think it's kind of funny how much you've ended up having to baby-sit him."_**

**_"He's doing just fine on his own right now. I think. I haven't seen him since…" _**

**_"…Your little breakdown..."_**

**_"…Don't make light of the situation. I feel terrible about what happened to you and Lorenzo. But I feel like he has forgiven me. Why can't you?"_**

"**_Mommy, who are you talking to?"_** Kristina looks up at her mother waiting for an answer.

Alexis barely blinks an eye and notices the chair across the table empty. She nervously caresses Kristina's dark curls in her hand. **_"I was just practicing a speech. It's like taking a hairbrush and singing songs in the mirror."_**

**_"Barney songs Momma?"_**

Alexis rolls her eyes. **_"Yes Dear. Barney songs."

* * *

_**

"**_I can teach you how to read."_** Brooke Lynn offers her help to Sonny ready to avoid belaboring the subject any longer.

**_"I'm not interested."_**

**_"What do you mean you're not interested! That's a stupid statement to make and a sign of a quitter."_**

**_"Maybe I am a quitter. Who knows."_**

Brooke Lynn hops up on the kitchen counter ready to engage Sonny. **_"What's the one book you've always wanted to read? I'm really intrigued if you couldn't tell."_**

**_"Honestly. There's so many. But really when I found out that Kristina was my daughter, I knew I wanted to be able to read those tutty-fruity books to her."_**

"_**Like Cinderella?"**_

**_"Yea. The ones with the glittery covers and stuff. But I bought her one. I don't remember the title. The girl was beautiful with a pretty dress on. I gave it to her and she immediately pushed it away and headed straight for Michael's Africa book. And that made me smile."_**

**_"Why? What's so special about the Africa book?" _**

**_"It's nothing but pictures. And if you have an imagination, you can take one picture and come up with so many different stories. You never want to put it down. But I do admit that there are times that I want to write."_**

**_"Write? Write what?" _**

**_"About me. About my life. Maybe put down on paper some of the things I don't think I can say."_**

**_"Wouldn't that be bad for you legally?"_**

Sonny grins and sits down to focus on his tree house design. Brooke Lynn hops down from the counter and grabs her book bag. Sonny turns away from her and grabs a pencil from the counter behind him. She quickly swipes the letter from the table and stuffs it in her bag.

"_**Ok Uncle Sonny. I'm leaving. Maybe we'll do the letter tomorrow?"**_

"_**Sure Kid. Thanks for caring. This is just between you and me right?"**_

Brooke Lynn nods. **_"Absolutely. I'll tell my mom we wrote the first draft."_**

Sonny continues on with his sketch. She pauses and waits by the door filled with more questions. He looks up. **_"Let me guess. You have questions."_**

**_"I just don't understand how you were able to mask it. Did the teacher not know?" _**

Sonny pushes out the chair from the table inviting her to stay. She drops her bag and sits down near him.

"_**There were three reading groups. The green, the yellow, and the red."**_

**_"Like a traffic light. And I bet you were in the red group."_**

"_**Always. It kind of became like a club in some ways. Us against them. It was a long flight up from red to green."**_

"_**Did you get picked on?"**_

"_**Uh. Not really. It didn't matter. You just felt like you weren't good enough. The green group was a bunch of snobs. There was one boy in particular that used to get under my skin though."**_

"_**What was his name?"**_

"_**Marcus. He was in my class. Smart. The teacher's pet."**_

**_"If you don't let me teach how you to read I'm gonna tell Alexis."_**

Brooke Lynn jumps from the chair but she's pulled back by Sonny's strong grasp. He spins her around to look at him.

**_"I swear to God Brooke Lynn. You tell Alexis. I will hang you by your pretty pink toenails. Don't do it."_**


	13. Chapter 13

January 14, 2006

**The Space Between**

"**_Alexis?"_** Lois opens her door slightly taken back by Alexis with Kristina in one arm and stuffed animals crowding the other.

"**_Hey Lois. How are you?"_** Alexis forces her way into the living room.

Lois stares at her with confusion. **_"Is everything ok Alexis?" _**

Alexis settles Kristina down on the floor with her array of toys. "_**Everything is peachy keen. I just had a vision."**_

"_**A vision? What kind of vision?"**_

"_**Well. Remember when Brooke Lynn and I met for the first time?"**_

Lois shakes her head. **_"No. I don't."_**

"_**Well I think she was a bit younger than Kristina. Anyway, I was nervous. Like really nervous because Lord knows I know nothing about raising children."**_

"_**You know nothing now?"**_

**_"Well sure. I know nothing ever. It's an instinct. I realize that. Anyway, my point is that I know you and Sonny are in a relationship."_**

"**_We are!"_** Lois' voice raises an octave.

"**_You are! And I could not be happier if I tried. But I thought about it. I want things to be easier for you and Kristina than they were for Brooke Lynn and me. I want her to embrace her new stepmother. So I thought I'd bring her over."_** Alexis heads towards the door. **_"I also figured you'd be great to find her Africa book. It'd be a perfect bonding moment."_**

"_**Where is this Africa book?"**_

Alexis takes a deep sigh. **_"Uh. Somewhere in the greater Manhattan area."

* * *

_**

Brooke Lynn and Sonny make their way down the neighborhood street arguing like an old married couple. Sonny shakes his head in disbelief that he'd even entertain the mind of such a young girl with heated argument but he tosses adult restraint out the window until they both step up to the walkway leading to the house. He races up the walk ahead of her trying to catch up to him. He turns back to her with his hands shooing her away from him.

"**_Stay back Brooke Lynn!"_** He exclaims staring at the bullet holes decorating his front window.

"**_Who shot up your house Uncle Sonny?"_** She questions.

He looks at her almost guilty for wanting to point out to her the stupidity of her question.

"**_If I knew Dear, I probably could have prevented it. Don't you think?"_** He gives her a hint of sarcasm hoping not to seem too agitated.

They both continue with caution and tiptoe on the glass crackling below their feet. Sonny's heart beats heavily as he reaches near his pockets wishing his gun were still his appendage. He had come so close. He had even gotten to the point where he could linger in the house past dark without fear of the voices fumbling around in his head. But he still retreated to his tent in the backyard to sleep and shut off the noise.

He breaks his thought after seeing Brooke Lynn walk back outside. He moves towards the door and his eyes grow wide at the sight of her limo. Alexis steps out and Brooke Lynn greets her before she can ascend the steps.

Brooke Lynn wraps her arms around Alexis and buries her face in her chest hoping to smooth over her reaction to the obvious. Sonny steps back inside and meanders into the kitchen in search of a broom. He opens the tiny broom closet, decides to walk inside, and stay for a moment.

"**_Hi Alexis."_** Brooke Lynn looks up at Alexis hoping she doesn't notice the subtle kayos.

Alexis squints her eyes in disbelief. **_"Are those bullet holes? What happened here?"_**

Brooke Lynn pulls back from her and searches for a save. **_"Uncle Sonny and I have a surprise for you, but we need Kristina's help."_**

Alexis continues up the walk past Brooke Lynn and into the house. She squats down and gathers glass into the palm of her hand. She looks up the staircase and starts to remember.

* * *

"**_Sonny, I can't do this whole visit thing any longer."_** Her hands trembled with the receiver perked on her ear. She scribbled on her pad not sure of what the silence on the other end truly meant.

He finally chimed in. **_"Alexis that would be a violation of the visitation settlement that you and I agreed to with the judge." _**Sonny recited to her as he yanked out his custody file and juggled the phone at the same time.

"**_That's not necessarily true. Do you have the papers there?" _**She asked.

Sonny stopped fumbling with the file. Frustrated he tossed it to the ground leaving the papers scattered across his floor. Benny walked in with Sonny directing him to pick up the mess.

**_"Alexis. Can I call you back? I need to figure out what this all means."_**

**_"No. We need to settle this now. I will give you a moment to find the clause. It's on the last page Dear. There is a summary of visitation. I need you to find it."_**

Sonny yanked the phone from his ear and signaled to Benny who immediately picked up on his need. Benny found the page in question laid across the room. He glanced over it quickly and grabbed the phone from Sonny.

**_"Hi Alexis. It's Benny."_**

"_**Hello Benny. I don't mean to be rude, but this is between Sonny and me. Can you put him back on the phone please?"**_

"**_Well, I have that page right here." _**Benny noticed Sonny jerk at his belt buckle and walk out the penthouse door with a wave of the hand.

"**_Uh Alexis. I think Sonny's in the bathroom."_** Benny utterdhalf embarrassed.

"_**Ok. Do me a favor and tell Sonny to do as I asked and we'll go from there."**_

_**"Can I assist the situation in some way Alexis?"**_

"**_How about preventing the shooting incident that happened the other day from happening again."_** Alexis slamed down the phone certain in her decision.

* * *

She lets the glass sift through her hand like white sand. She stands up and focuses on Brooke Lynn sitting on the stairs waiting to be acknowledged.

"**_Do you know what happened?"_** Alexis tries to remain calm in her question.

**_"No. We were coming back from the diner down the street and happened to notice it. Sonny has no clue who did it. But Alexis. It's not his fault I swear. He's been building a tree house."_**

"**_It really doesn't matter Brooke Lynn. It never truly ends. I'm just glad you're both ok."_** Alexis gulps back her tears of insecurity having convinced herself that it was all over.

She allows her eyes to wonder down the dark hall. **_"I've never actually been in here before. Do you want to give me the tour?"_** Alexis reaches her hand out to Brooke Lynn.

Brooke Lynn perks up but shakes her head. **_"I can't Alexis."_**

"_**Why can't you?"**_

Brooke Lynn looks up the stairs and back to Alexis. **_"Not if you want to go up there. I can show you the kitchen. Sonny doesn't go upstairs very often. Every once in a while."_**

"_**Where is he now?" **_

"**_I think he's in the broom closet." _**Brooke quickly mentions and leans her chin on her hands.

"**_Obviously he's hiding something."_** Alexis crosses her arms slowly seething mad.

**_"Obviously he's just afraid of your reaction."_**

"**_What has he told you about me Little Girl?"_** Alexis' face turns red and she balls her fists ready to pummel Sonny if he were to even think to emerge from the closet.

Brooke Lynn knowing she is oftentimes one to say too much fidgets for a way to smooth over Alexis' disposition**_. "Nothing that you didn't already know. He said you saved his life. He's very grateful. He just doesn't want you to say no if Kristina wants to play in her tree house. You might say it's unsafe."_**

Alexis stops herself from diverging onto an adult explanation**_. "He's taught you well. Kristina can't play in the tree house without me being there. Is that a good compromise?"_**

"**_Yes."_** Brooke Lynn perks up again taking what she can get. She hops up from the stairs ready to lead Alexis towards the kitchen and to the backyard. Alexis grabs Brooke Lynn's backpack covered in glass to dust off the debris. The letter slips out and onto the ground. Brooke Lynn, noticing the letter drop from her bag, turns quickly to Alexis to snatch it up before she can recognize it. But she's too late. Alexis finishes the unfold and wonders how the letter got there.

"_**I was looking all over for this letter. How did you get it Brooke Lynn?"**_

Brooke Lynn quickly forfeits her protection of him.**_ "Uncle Sonny gave it to me."_**

**_"That would mean Sonny took it from me."_**

Sonny finally emerges from the closet. **_"But that would in turn imply that you took it from me. Can I have it back?"_**

Alexis slowly hands Sonny back his letter noticeably handled by many. He steps back from her and crimples it up into a ball to stuff it into his pocket.

Brooke Lynn looks to both of them picking up on her uncomfortable position as the space between them. She breaks into tears, grabs her backpack from Alexis and races out of the house and on the route to home.

Alexis points at Sonny. **_"You made her cry. Lois is going to kick your ass. She was fine until you came into the room. I was about to get a tour of the house. So you and the closet are friends now?"_**

Sonny drops his head wanting to remain humble. **_"I can't explain to you what happened here."_**

Alexis walks back outside and positions herself in front of the large window. She looks down and notices glass on the outside.

**_"You know what Sonny? Whoever did this obviously shot from the inside and the outside. Did you leave the door unlocked?"_**

"_**Yea. We just went down the street for lunch."**_

"_**Why don't we call the police?"**_

"_**Are you crazy? I can't call the cops. They'll haul me in. Don't worry about it Alexis. I'll clean it up and worry about it tomorrow."**_

Sonny walks back inside and grabs his broom. Alexis follows him inside.

"_**Sonny, why won't you let me help?"**_

He drops the broom. **_"You confuse me Alexis. Now you wanna help? I'm fine. All is well. I'm tired of everyone wanting to help."_**

**_"Not that I want to bring up the fact that I have pried into your personal affairs, but is this attitude you currently have linked to the letter?"_**

"**_I don't wanna hear anything else concerning that stupid letter."_** Sonny snatches the balled up paper from his pocket and rips it into pieces allowing them to crumble to the floor.

"**_Well. I guess you've made yourself clear on all fronts."_** She observes.

**_"It's always all or nothing with you Alexis."_**

**_"Well. To be honest I've typically only been given the choice of all or nothing. And frankly, you should be lucky that I chose to walk away from our circumstance of entrapment with all."

* * *

_**

Kevin sits back in his chair barely showing his happiness of having her sit across from him again.

"**_I'm…sorry…Alexis."_** He swallows hard and tries to maintain the upper hand despite having to concede some defeat in their duel of the egos.

"**_I'm sorry too Kevin. I overreacted. And obviously I've proven that I need you."_** Alexis tilts her head and stares at him waiting for the response she'd like to hear.

Kevin tightens his lips and relents. **_"I need you too Alexis. You're the most screwed up patient I have. I'm nothing without you…Damnit."_**

Alexis takes a moment in thought. **_"Can you just say you were wrong and we can get over the semantics?"_**

"**_Sure Alexis. I was wrong. And you really don't need that prescription for Valium."_** Kevin rips up the prescription and tosses it into the wastebasket. **_"Did you? So what's the problem now?"_**

**_"You know how every night I dream, the day that Ric and Lorenzo were killed plays back. Every moment. And it seems that the closer I get to the end, it plays slowly."_**

Kevin starts to write notes. **_"How is Sonny?"_**

"_**Are you listening to me?"**_

"_**Yea. I am. So how is he? Dating Lois huh?"**_

"_**Oh. I see what we're doing here. You're trying to get me to forget."**_

"**_For the moment."_** Kevin interjects.

"_**I guess they're dating. I just left his house. Someone shot at his house. He seemed quite agitated. And I said something that I probably shouldn't have said due to the circumstances. We kind of just left it hanging in the air. You know how it is."**_

"_**No. Please describe it to me."**_

Alexis uses her hands to demonstrate her point. **_"I stood here and he stood here."_**

"**_A couple inches apart? _**Kevin exclaims.

"**_No."_** Alexis measures again. **_"I'd say about two feet apart. There was this space between…"_**

**_"…Did you expect he would lean in and make out with you?"_**

**_"No. It seems as though every time we convene again, we have to work our way into that space between us. There's always something that keeps us apart."_**

"**_Ric? Lois?"_** Kevin offers his theory.

**_"No. It's something. Something unspoken. With Ric and Lorenzo, I always knew where I stood and they always knew how far they could go with me. Sonny says that I often confuse him with some of the things that I say."_**

**_"Can we get over the semantics Alexis? If you love him, you should tell him so."_**

**_"No. I think he should tell me first."_**

Kevin throws up his hands. **_"Well there you go. That would explain your relationship. You need to fill the space. You're allies with warring hearts. You're at opposite ends of the spectrum and you're both stubborn as hell. And until one of you concedes in blissful defeat, the war will prove to be greater than the victory."_**


	14. Chapter 14

February 28, 2006

**A Lesson in Cotton Candy**

**_"What do I need to do to try to get the same relationship with Sonny that he has with Brooke Lynn?"_** Alexis questions to Lorenzo perched at the end of her couch with one leg crossed over the other and glaring at her so obviously not processing her statement.

**_"She's five Alexis."_**

**_"She is not five. I'm asking a serious question. Please be accommodating."_**

Lorenzo laughs. **_"It's so hard to be accommodating when it's quite obvious to me that Sonny only relates to those half his age."_**

Alexis points her finger at Lorenzo. **_"I expect this judgment out of Ric. Not you."_**

**_"I just like to make fun. Hey. Africa book saga. Over? Not over? Your daughter is as much a drama queen if not more than her mother."_**

**_"It's like her security blanket."_**

**_"Let me tell you something Alexis. When she finds that stupid book, which by the way is only an issue because I'm sure her equally overdramatic father planted the idea in her head that this book is like the new crack. Anyway, when she finds the book, she'll forget why she even cared about it."_**

**_"Are you calling my daughter fickle?"_** Alexis questions Lorenzo with a false curiosity.

**_"I would never abbreviate her personality to a barely two-syllable word."_**

Alexis laughs and lays back on the couch sinking into her warm throw. She watches Lorenzo slowly fading into a blur. **_"I think Kevin spikes my medication. These hallucinations are unfair on all accounts."_**

**_"But pleasant." _**Lorenzo adds while tucking her in tight. **_"You love to dream about me. I was your favorite."_**

**_"Yes. You were always easygoing. Even till the end. But your son…" _**Alexis takes a deep breath and tries to stay awake. She twirls a strand of her hair around her finger while jerking it to feel the sting of the pull. **_"…I'd give anything for Zander to forgive me."_**

* * *

Zander remained still in the flickering of the emergency lights. Like Pavlov's dog reacting to the redness filling the congested area, he raced to the paramedics emerging from the building with occupied stretchers pushed in front of them. He made it to the front of the line and counted each one. **_"One, two…" _**He counted to himself. A familiar face met the corner of his eye. With a frantic wave of his hand, he acknowledged Sonny wrapped in a blanket and talking to a police officer. 

Sonny nudged the officer aside and made his way to Zander. **_"Sonny! What happened! Where is Alexis? Where is Lo? Where is Ric?"_** Zander questioned barely allowing Sonny a word in edgewise.

Sonny placed his hand on Zander's shoulder half wanting to be the one to tell him the truth.

**_"Seriously. Sonny. I need some answers."_** Zander pulled away from Sonny's grip.

Sonny exhaled deeply. **_"I shouldn't be the one to tell you this. Alexis should tell you, but she can't…"_**

Zander tossed his hands in the air. **_"What do you mean she can't! Where is she!" _**

**_

* * *

_**Alexis jerks up from her rest in shock that her frightening images failed to invade her unconscious. She looks around her and notices her front door cracked. She sniffs the air and catches Lorenzo's cologne still floating in the air. **_"He was really here." _**She tells herself after noting all the precious signs that reminded her of her dear friend. 

She never thought she could forgive him. She never truly understood why she even hated him. She just did.

**_"Alexis. I don't get you at all." _**Lorenzo stated to her very openly after Ric had left them in the office despite them both giving him indications they never wanted to be left alone. **_"You killed my brother so why the hell do you hate me?" _**He questioned with certainty that she wouldn't have a valid answer.

**_"Your brother killed my sister."_** She answered and sat back certain her answer was enough to shut him up.

**_"So how did you and Ric meet again?"_** Lorenzo questioned while kicking his feet up onto Ric's desk. He slid his hands behind his head ready to listen to the story.

**_"You don't care how Ric and I met Lorenzo." _**Alexis looked away from him hoping Ric's errand was soon to end ridding them both of their misery.

**_"Listen Alexis. If we're going to be partners…"_**

**_"…A threesome."_** Alexis uttered.

Lorenzo's body broke down in full laughter. **_"Ok. Whatever you want to call it Dear. I'm game."_**

**_"That's what it is. So why you laughing?"_** She delivered him a cold stare.

Ric stepped into the office.

Lorenzo turned to him and exclaimed with excitement. **_"We're having a threesome!"_**

Alexis laughs to herself recalling that time knowing at that moment she wanted to relieve her heart of the anger and fall into his playful nature. But she held it inside until she had no choice but to give in; she knew she had to teach Kristina forgiveness.

They were able to maintain a working relationship with Ric in the middle, but it was always uncomfortably strained. And when Zander found that Lorenzo was his father, Alexis knew that helping him piece together his life was the best gift the young troubled boy could receive.

Zander had taken Kristina to the Port Charles Fair. Lorenzo had wanted to attend the fun with his newfound son, but he bowed out knowing that Kristina would appreciate the first time experience more. Lorenzo also knew that Alexis would have a heart attack if he violated her unofficial restraining order.

But both of them made of unspeakable impulse ended up at the Fair; each alone meandering through the crowd searching for answers to their many questions. And they both ended up at the cart of the man with the cotton candy.

Alexis spotted him in line looking completely out of place dressed fresh from the office. She wanted to quickly turn away from him and pretend to look for Zander, but he caught her eye and lifted his hand in a strained effort to wave hello.

She waited after watching him pay the vendor for two sticks of cotton candy, one pink and one blue. As he approached her with the candy, her heart palpitated with her unsure of how to relate to him in a way outside of pure hatred, pure silence, or pure lawyer-speak.

Lorenzo handed her the pink cotton candy, but quickly pulled it back. **_"I'm assuming you'd prefer the pink?" _**He asked.

**_"Do they taste the same?"_**

**_"Not really. The pink is better." _**

Alexis took the blue candy from his hand and grinned from ear to ear. **_"Luke taught me poker. You were bluffing."_**

Lorenzo chuckled. **_"Have you ever eaten cotton candy? It's quite messy. I can show you."_**

Alexis picked at the candy having never dealt with the ball of fluff on the stick. **_"Can I tell you a story?"_**

**_"I'd love to hear it."_**

**_"Sonny quote on quote taught me how to eat biscotti."_**

**_"I have a hard time believing a cultured woman like you Natasha would need to be taught how to eat biscotti."_**

Alexis kicked at the dirt, her face flushed. **_"I think he was flirting with me. He knew I knew how to eat biscotti."_**

**_"Are you assuming I'm flirting with you?"_** Lorenzo tried to make eye contact with her taking an interest in her candy.

**_"You called me Natasha. How do you know that name?"_** She looked at him.

**_"I pay attention to you. That is all."_**

The conversation started to fade into the noise of the evening back to that place of resentment. But Alexis took control and admitted her reason of restlessness. **_"I'm pregnant." _**She exclaimed to Lorenzo while wondering exactly what she said.

**_"Congratulations! What are we having?"_**

**_"We?" _**Alexis stepped back from Lorenzo not picking up on his subtle sense of humor.

Realizing her nervousness, he changed his tune. **_"I mean. What are you having?"_**

**_"I just found out today. Not sure. It's early."_**

**_"Ric?" _**

**_"Do you think I'm a whore?"_** Alexis hit Lorenzo's arm. **_"I know the father of my child."_**

**_"Well you mentioned Sonny and I know you were seeing Ric. I just wasn't sure."_**

**_"Yea. Neither am I."_** She muttered to herself half hoping he didn't hear.

Alexis closes her blinds to the rain and thunder outside her apartment window. She remembers that her evening at the Fair with Lorenzo ended with the heavens pouring showers over them before they could find shelter. They had finally found it soaking wet amongst the merry-go-round shut down for the evening. Neither of them wanted to go home nor did they want to be bothered by anyone but each other.

**_"I must be enjoying my time with you if being a wet mop seems more appealing." _**She pulled her knees to her chest to shield her body from the seeping cold.

Lorenzo pulled his flask from his wet coat and offered quickly realizing his mistake. **_"My bad. I forgot. A baby huh? That's fun. Hey can I ask a favor?"_**

**_"Sure."_**

**_"Is it too soon to ask for favors?"_**

**_"I guess not."_**

**_"I've never held a baby before. Can I hold yours?"_**

Alexis thought for a moment. **_"How is it possible that you've never held a baby?"_**

**_"There are a lot of simple things I've never done that I'd like to do. When your life is as complicated as mine was, you miss out on things..."_**

**_"…Like eating cotton candy?"_** She interjected.

He tipped his flask in her direction and gave her a drunken stare. **_"Exactly. You did a good job by the way. I'm proud of you."_** Lorenzo leaned his body on the base of the merry-go-round and slid down to a more comfortable position on his back staring out towards the starry night.

Alexis joined him and vocalized the first thought in her head. **_"Is it possible we'll be arrested for loitering? That would be fun."_**

Lorenzo slowly faded, but nodded to her.

She continued. **_"I forgive you by the way. Does that make us friends?"_**

Lorenzo slowly nodded again and dropped off completely. **_"It's the end of all strain. It's the joy in our hearts." _**She smiled and hoped that the high she felt that cool evening wouldn't dissipate in the heat of the morning.


	15. Chapter 15

March 5, 2006

**I'm Not Going Anywhere**

The three of them, Sonny, Ric, and Lorenzo, all waited patiently in the tight space of the closet; forced to sit in silence and ponder the unforeseeable. They each, in their silence, thought of the woman that always managed to be the glue to hold their broken pieces together.

Sonny looked over at Ric digging his fingernails into his arm. Sonny attempted to hold his tongue, but couldn't resist.

"**_What are you doing Ric?"_** He questioned.

"_**I'm trying to experience physical pain. You got a problem with that?"**_

"**_Not at all."_** Sonny quietly remarked before laying his head back and closing his eyes to continue his thoughts.

Ric stopped his self-mutilation. **_"Do bullets hurt Sonny? Lo? You've both been shot I know."_**

Lorenzo ignored Ric's questions while Sonny opened his eyes again not sure if the question was sincere or making fun.

Sonny decided to indulge Ric with a response. **_"It hurts initially, but you quickly get over the pain. It also depends on where you're shot. You better hope it's in the head and you better hope you die instantly."_**

Lorenzo offered his advice with a weak laugh. **_"Yea. You don't want that bullet tumbling around in that empty brain of yours Ric."_**

"**_You're both assholes."_** Ric grumbled before going back to his exercise in pain.

Lorenzo jerked up his body and quickly positioned himself by the door. He signaled Ric to quiet down while pressing his ear to the door. His keen hearing tried to make out the conversations between the gunmen outside the door.

"**_There's no point in killing her."_** The gunman said to another.

Lorenzo pressed his ear closer to the door. Sonny followed Lorenzo's lead and rested his ear on the nearby wall. They both held their breath.

"**_She's gonna die anyway! So there's no point in killing her!"_** The same voice barked out in argument clear enough to make Ric stand up and find a place on the door.

They all stopped breathing and listened to the sound of feet walking down the corridor and too far away to pick up on anymore chatter. Sonny laid his forehead on the wall wanting to hear more; wanting to understand what the short conversations really meant.

Lorenzo leaned his back on the door and Ric leaned on the bar against the wall. Sonny pulled up from the wall and looked at both of them in wonder of their thoughts.

"**_Did you hear that?"_** He said as he pointed towards the door.

"**_Yea. But what does it mean?"_** Lorenzo replied.

"**_Ric, is Alexis sick? You would know."_** Sonny questioned Ric with a harsh tone in his voice.

Ric stuffed his hands in his pockets and focused his eyes on the floor without response. Lorenzo looked at Ric awaiting an answer.

"_**Ric, Sonny asked you a question. What do you know about Alexis?"**_

Ric continued his silence. Sonny and Lorenzo gave up on the nice routine and started to approach Ric to collectively pound him to the ground. Sonny grabbed Ric's collar and slammed him against the wall, but Ric refused to reveal.

* * *

Deep in reverie, he tosses the last pile of debris from his front stoop into the trashcan. The robust shadow of Momma Cass lingers on the lawn from her porch. **_"Don't be throwing any evidence in my trashcan!"_** She yells at Sonny from across the yard. 

He nods to her and smiles while quietly cursing through his teeth. **_"She didn't notice who did the shooting, but she sees me putting crap in her trashcan. Bitch is senile."_**

He searches the stoop just thankful to see it finally free of glass. Sonny looks into the front window and notices the person standing behind him, but he refuses to turn around.

"**_This is a bad time to be showing up."_** Sonny whispers to Ric under his breath.

Ric walks into the house forcing Sonny to follow. **_"I said I wouldn't visit you often and I think I did a hell of a job keeping my promise. But there are some things that we need to discuss."_**

"**_Like what Ric?"_** Sonny shrugs his shoulder pretending to be clueless of Ric's need.

**_"Alexis can't leave until you assure her that it's ok to go. And I don't think you're even close to being where she needs you to be."_**

**_"Alexis isn't going anywhere Ric. And she's not going anywhere with you."

* * *

_**

Alexis waves madly to Kevin to join her at the table in the corner. He sits down and before he can even remove his coat, she engrosses him in conversation.

"_**Kevin, have you ever read The Divine Comedy?" **_

**_"Unfortunately yes. Never again."_**

"_**You didn't like it?"**_

"**_Eh."_** He emphasizes with a comme ci comme ca twist of his hand.

**_"Well that's exactly how I feel. I feel like Dante traveling from Hell to Paradise."_**

**_"Are you sure it's not from Paradise to Hell, because I am certain you are going to hell."_**

"**_And I'm certain you'll be my tour guide."_** She winks at him with a flash of her dimples.

Kevin pulls a paper from his folder. **_"So I analyzed the photocopy you gave me of Sonny's letter."_**

"_**And?"**_

**_"I'd like the chance to actually talk to him, but he seems to be avoiding me. I have reason to believe he might have some type of learning disability."_**

"_**Really? Like what?"**_

**_"He obviously can't write which leads me to believe he can't read either."_**

Alexis swallows the last of her food. **_"That's impossible. I've seen him read and write before. I think you're wrong."

* * *

_**

"**_The Divine Comedy."_** Brooke Lynn recites the title to Sonny engrossed in his final drawing of the tree house plans.

"_**What about it?"**_

**_"Let's read it together."_**

Sonny takes the book from her hands and scans the cover. He opens it, flips through the pages, and finally hands it back to her. **_"The words are too small."_**

**_"Granted it's not a book about sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll, but it's literature. And I have to read to it to pass my English class."_**

**_"Actually it could fall under your modern day Rolling Stone magazine_**."

"_**How would you know?"**_

"_**Books on audio. What a brilliant idea huh? Last night I listened to **Lady in the Tramp**. I dug it out of the old collection."**_

"**_Knock knock!" _**Alexis' voice carries through the front of house to the back. Sonny and Brooke Lynn stop their exchange upon Alexis entering the kitchen.

"**_Did I interrupt?"_** She asks noticing the two engrossed in books and plans.

"**_No way. Brooke and I were just discussing Divine Comedy."_**

**_"Really? I was having this same conversation with Kevin. Which one of you is reading it?"_**

Brooke Lynn raises her hand. **_"Me Alexis. But I'm leaving now."_**

**_"You don't have to leave on my account."_**

"**_Uh yea I do. Bye."_** Brooke Lynn races out the backdoor leaving Sonny wanting to scurry out behind her.

"**_You look like you wanna follow her."_** Alexis observes with a raised brow.

**_"Well I just don't want to be lectured."_**

Alexis throws her hands on her hips. **_"I don't lecture."_**

**_"But you do My Pretty. You do. I like it. Don't get me wrong. But sometimes not."_**

Sonny stands up and picks up a glass from the counter. He notices Alexis' hand. **_"What happened to your hand?"_**

She studies the bandage on her hand having forgotten it was even there. **_"I broke a glass."_**

"_**Broke a glass? Like how?"**_

"_**It cracked in my hand."**_

**_"Oh. That sounds like that hurts. I've done that before."_**

"_**Yea? And did you get those really thin pieces of glass in your hand?"**_

"_**Oh those hurt like hell."**_

They both laugh till an uncomfortable pause.

**_"I'm sorry I didn't visit you in the hospital Alexis."_**

**_"You don't think I did this in the hospital do you? I didn't. I was in and out in like a day. They just wanted to make sure…"_**

**_"…You don't have to explain. I've been there before. Trying to protect myself from people thinking I was crazy. Sometimes you just need a rest."_**

Alexis cringes for a moment. **_"What do you think? I mean really?"_**

"_**About what?"**_

"_**About me? Like do you feel comfortable telling me your deepest darkest secrets?"**_

**_"I think you know everything there is to know about me."_**

Sonny sits down and invites her to sit across from him.

"**_Ok. I'm going to ask you a really sensitive question if I may."_** She says to him with a nervous shake in her leg.

**_"Sure Alexis. Ask me anything."_**

"_**Are you a child molester?"**_

Sonny jumps from his chair. **_"What! Where is that coming from!"_**

"_**I just notice you spend a lot of time with Brooke Lynn."**_

"**_I'm a cheap babysitter!"_** He shrieks hoping he got his point across.

Alexis settles him back into his chair**_. "It's ok. I just didn't realize you enjoyed the company of children."_**

Sonny takes a deep breathe slightly reeling. **_"I do. I love children actually. I just never had anyone really allow me around them for long periods of time."_**

**_"That's great. I just needed to be sure. I mean it seems you're really special to Brooke Lynn. You're with her all the time. And I would hope you could give that time to Kristina as well."_**

Sonny furrows his brow. **_"Have you seen Ric lately?"_**

_**"Uh, once or twice."**_

_**"I'm shocked you'd admit it."**_

_**"I can't exactly hide it anymore. I talk to Lorenzo all the time."**_

Sonny starts to fidget in his chair. **_"What do they say to you?"_**

"_**Nothing really. Why?"**_

The pit in Sonny's stomach makes his legs weak and he thanks God he's sitting or otherwise he would faint standing. He hears the pitter patter of Kristina's dress shoes race down the corridor and Lois' voice alerting of their arrival.

"**_Good Lord Alexis! Did you forget I had your kid!"_** She exclaims at the sight of Alexis at the table.

Kristina tosses her body onto her Daddy's lap. He quickly gains his composure.

Alexis darts up and tries to steal the baby's attention from Sonny. **_"I'm sorry Lois. Kristina I need to get home."_**

**_"Well don't leave on my account. Kristina was just worried that you weren't coming home."_**

Alexis gathers Kristina in her arms. **_"Well we're going to have to teach Kristina that I'm not the only go to girl. That's why I have friends and family to help. Goodbye All."_**

Alexis and Kristina leave down the hallway. Lois stares at Sonny with a raised eyebrow.

"_**Corinthos? Did you tell her?"**_

"_**Tell her what?"**_

"_**That we're not getting married!"**_

"_**It doesn't really matter Lois!"**_

Lois' face fills crimson. **_"If I didn't just get my nails done Sonny, I'd stab you with one!"

* * *

_**

Alexis places Kristina down at the table and starts to gather her mess of artwork strewn about.

"_**Kristina, do you remember what Mommy told you about heaven?"**_

Kristina frantically shakes her head. **_"Yes. Mommy is going to heaven and Daddy is going to hell."_**

Kristina grins from ear to ear waiting for Alexis' approval.

**_"Exactly. Well at least then what Mommy said was true, but it wasn't completely true."_**

"**_Ok Mommy."_** Kristina nods her head and starts her drawing.

"_**I was kind of mad at your Dad when I said he was going to hell. He might be able to talk his way into purgatory."**_

"_**How do you spell Mommy?"**_

Alexis laughs and almost humors the child's question. **_"You don't need to know how to spell that Sweet Pea."_**

Kristina continues her coloring while Alexis watches every stroke of her crayon.

"**_There are a lot of simple things I've never done that I'd like to do. When your life is as complicated as mine was, you miss out on things..."_** Alexis says quietly.

"_**What Mommy?"**_

Alexis breaks her momentary trance. **_"Just don't stop coloring."_**


	16. Chapter 16

March 13, 2006

**I Want Half**

Alexis gripped tight onto her pillow. She tried to hold back a terrible coughing fit, but she lost the war. She looked up at the ceiling and decided to count leaping frogs to keep her liquids down. Throwing up was never her forte.

"**_I feel so terrible for you right now."_** Ric sympathized as he stepped out of the kitchen with a steaming bowl of chicken soup and placed it on her nightstand. The smell of the broth interrupted her need to count. How didn't he know she couldn't stand processed soups?

"**_Alexis, what possessed you to stay out in the rain?"_**

Alexis buried her face even deeper into the pillow worried that her delusional state of mind would cause her to slip.

"**_I just want you to stop talking and go away."_** She barely let the words fall from her mouth. Her voice breaking into a small whine like a child bidding for her mother.

"**_Why you gotta be so harsh?"_**

"**_Why are you still here?"_**

"**_I'm just trying to help."_**

"**_I'm on my deathbed. Let me die in peace Ric."_**

"**_You have the flu Alexis. You're not dying. What about a shot of Jack? That'll help."_**

Ric walked over to the bar and poured a shot of Jack Daniels. Alexis buried her body even further under the covers. He turned to hand her the glass, but found nothing but a covered lump of her figure bundled in the middle of the bed.

"_**Alexis meet Jack."**_

"**_Alexis and Jack can't be friends! Go away Ric!"_**

"**_Ok. Ok. I'll go. I love you My Dear."_**

"**_I love me too." _**She said finally finding some humor in her close to loopy state of mind.

* * *

Alexis caught her daydream with a crayon in her hand and coloring what should've been a purple dinosaur an angry shade of black. The knock at her door further breaks her from her mindless coloring spell. She answers to Sonny holding a single stemmed red rose. 

"**_Am I dying?" _**She asks.

Sonny looks at her slightly confused. **_"Uh. No. I was just told that girls like flowers."_**

"_**I hate flowers. Like really hate them. I purposely don't give them water because I hate them. Diamonds are a girl's best friend."**_

"**_How did you know I stole this from someone's gravestone?"_**

"**_It was either that or Home Depot."_** She adds.

"_**Well I couldn't have you buying your own flowers. That's just not right."**_

Alexis takes her rose with a smile and lets Sonny in. She wonders to herself if she should break the mood with questions of Kevin's discovery.

"**_Are you planning to read Dante's Inferno?"_** She asks hoping to draw something from him.

"**_Nah. I hate that book. I told Brookie to get Cliff's Notes."_**

"**_She can't do that Sonny. She'll fail."_**

"**_No she won't. She's smart like her mother."_**

"**_I guess that's why you like her so much huh? Lois."_** Alexis inquires with a curious rise of her brow.

"**_Yea. Alexis, Lois and I aren't getting married."_**

"**_You're not? Did she reject you?"_**

"**_Well. I never proposed. People just misinterpreted. I just asked her out. How it came out that we were getting married, I don't know. I blame Brenda."_**

"**_It's usually easy to blame her huh?"_** Alexis nods.

"_**Yea. She's far."**_

Alexis laughs. **_"Do you remember when you caught me about to do Lorenzo?"_**

"**_Huh?_**" Sonny questions.

* * *

They practically ran down the doors of the elevator to reach their final destination. Alexis yanked Lorenzo towards her apartment, but he resisted her pull. 

"_**No! Natasha! We're going in my apartment."**_

Lorenzo pulled her in the direction of his door, but she pulled back.

"**_We can't go in your apartment Lorenzo. What if Ric or Zander shows up?"_**

"**_Well which is worse? Ric or Zander? Or Ric or Zander or Sonny?"_**

"**_Sonny is not making a trip to the city. We're at odds at the moment."_**

Alexis noticed Lorenzo fidgeting like an impatient child.

"**_Natasha, just pick!"_**

The doors of the elevator started to open. Alexis immediately made a choice.

"**_Your apartment!"_** She exclaimed as they both rushed to get on the other side of Lorenzo's door.

Once inside, Lorenzo wasted no time to peel practically every inch of clothing from his body. Alexis found herself a bit taken aback by the haste of his actions.

"**_You're so anxious."_** She observed causing him to stop and take a deep breath.

"_**Sorry Natasha. I'm typically a romantic, but not today."**_

Alexis slapped her hand across his mouth and forced them both to listen. She recognized the voice outside the door knocking on her door across the hall.

"_**Oh my God. It's Sonny."**_

"**_Thought you said he wouldn't be coming to the city."_**

"**_Shut-up."_**

Alexis turned from Lorenzo and fixed her disheveled clothing. She opened the door to Sonny's shock to find her appear behind him. He smiled, but it quickly turned to confusion after Lorenzo inadvertently decided to stumble into the hall practically naked. Sonny pointed towards Lorenzo with hope that his hand gestures were enough to get some answers.

"**_Sonny. What are you doing here?"_** Alexis questioned him in between breaths in need of something to breathe in.

Sonny could barely speak so he chose to stare at Lorenzo attached to the doorframe.

"**_She's a tiger in the sack Lorenzo. Watch out for her." _**Sonny chuckled.

"**_Not necessary Sonny."_** Alexis admonished with arms crossed tightly.

Sonny mocked Alexis by rubbing his hands across his body and chanting in a Paulalike fashion. **_"You make me feel like the Amazon's running between my thighs."_**

"**_I'm going to bed." _**Lorenzo gave up on his chance slamming his door on the both of them.

Sonny straightened up with a laugh, looked at her for a quick minute, and walked back towards the elevator and pressed madly on the buttons.

"**_Sonny, are you going to tell Ric?"_**

"_**No. I don't care what happens to you and Ric. But if I can somehow make you look unfit, I can at least have half of Kristina."**_

"**_Half? Half? Sonny, you can't half a child."_**

"**_Half Alexis. I want half."_**

The elevator finally opened. Sonny stepped in and disappeared to her relief.

* * *

Alexis notices Sonny not completely sold on her switch of mood. **_"I'm sorry. I was just trying to lighten the conversation."_**

"**_I didn't realize it wasn't light."_**

"**_Did you seriously get this flower from a gravestone?"_**

"**_Well yea. Kind of. I went to visit my mother and I thought of you."_**

"**_So you decided to share her flowers. I'm flattered."_** Alexis gives him her signature dimpled smile.

"**_She didn't need all of them. I think she would have approved…of you…in some capacity."_**

"**_Well considering how much you adore you mother, I'm even more flattered."_**

Sonny flashes her a look of suspicion**_. "What do you want? You're being really nice to me."_**

Alexis almost asks her question begging to be answered, but she notices his eyes and the fading red from lack of sleep. She begins to forget how to even breech the subject. From the corner of her eye, she notices the blue bear made with care positioned on the couch and practically staring in her direction.

"**_I should go visit Ricky but I'm swamped and it's Viola's week off."_** She quickly remembers.

"**_I'll watch Kristina. But I can't try your cases."_** He offers to her with a weak smile.

Alexis starts to grab her coat**_. "I'll take you up on that. You should read…her…"_** She catches herself from finishing her sentence.

"**_A story? Which one? No word on Africa book?" _**He questions.

"**_No. Nothing on Africa book. Stefan's on it. I can always count on him."

* * *

_**

"**_I don't understand Alexis. Why aren't you telling Ric you're pregnant?"_** Lorenzo asked in wonder the morning after they set up camp by the merry-go-round.

"**_I'm going to tell him. Just not right now. Like today. Maybe tomorrow. Or next week."_**

Lorenzo looked at his watch and sipped his coffee. **_"Don't wait too long. I'm not one to keep secrets and squeezing into your wardrobe has its limits."_**

"**_I've got what? Three months? Chill out."_**

"_**Just keep in mind that Ric is good friend of mine."**_

"**_And he's a friend of mine too, but I'm finding that we're not compatible. We both have egos that reach beyond the heavens so we always end up getting on each other's damn nerves."_**

"**_Did you get along with Sonny?"_**

"**_Yea. He listened me and I listened to him. He knew when to talk and he knew when to shut-up. Kind of like you."_** Alexis looked at Lorenzo intrigued.

"**_Stop flirting. I'm already taken Dear." _**

"**_Oh really? What's her name?"_** Alexis asked.

"**_Natasha."_** He stated boldly with a nervous smirk.

* * *

Alexis walks through the barely lit cemetery trying to squash harboring the superficial fears of death drawn from cheesy TBS flicks she finds herself watching at wee hours of night. She tries to visit him often, but she wondered if there'd come a time when she'll forget about him. She always left it up to Kevin to remind her that the little tyke existed even if it were only for a week. 

There always had to be a crisis surrounding the birth of her children. But in this case she almost lost both of them, Kristina and Ricky; partially at the fault of Sonny. But she had to figure which she hated the most, Ric constantly blaming Sonny and making her privy to every confrontation or her own feelings of blame. She often chose to side with Sonny if only to prove Ric wrong and show she was capable of forgiveness unlike the both of them.

She squeezes tight onto the teddy bear from big sister to little angel brother and kneels down on the cold, wet ground near his headstone. There wasn't a ceremony; at least not one that she could remember attending. Ric did something in their son's honor, but she could barely move from her bed in intensive care, crippled by the combination of carrying the child in vain and further finding out that she had to cherish every moment that her life had left to offer. It was then that she got to know Natasha. It was then she started to understand why Lorenzo would never let her forget about that deeper, audacious part of her soul. She wouldn't have made it out of the hospital without her.

She never knows what to say to Ricky trying to keep in mind that he barely had the chance to open his eyes. But he did for her. They were the first and last words spoken from a son to his mother.

"**_Is it warm where you are Baby?"_** She looks around herself to make sure they are alone and her talking to the headstone isn't an unheard of activity in those parts

"**_I just wanna know what to pack when I come to live with you." _**She couldn't believe she said it. It was the first time she finally acknowledged her destiny delivered to her by a stiff, cold doctor in an equally stiff white coat. Natasha had told Alexis to keep it to herself and put it in the back of her mind.

Words from one human being to another meant nothing more than the paper they were written on. **_"The doctor is full of himself."_** Natasha said to Alexis like it was a broken record.

But things started to change when Ric's spirit crept by her bed at night and she could practically feel his hand touch her hair. Or Lorenzo's boyish laughter filled her ears when she woke up in the morning. She knew why they were there. She wasn't crazy. They were her angels promising to stay by her side until the end.

_"Feeling Love" by Paula Cole_


	17. Chapter 17

March 26, 2006

**Confrontations**

Sonny slammed Ric's head against the wall and tightened his grip on his shirt. **_"Ric, what do you know?"_**

Ric squirmed and tried to look at Lorenzo leaning on the wall and playing the whole thing cool. **_"You gonna help me Lorenzo? You gonna let Sonny kill me?"_**

Lorenzo pushed away Sonny's hand from his noose and forced him to let Ric go. After the release, Ric took an exaggerated cough and leaned on the wall. Lorenzo approached him.

"_**You got a chance to rest Ric?"**_

Ric stared at Lorenzo with suspicion in his eyes. **_"Yea. Why?"_**

Lorenzo grabbed Ric and slammed him against the wall again. **_"You better talk. What do you know about Alexis!" _**

Ric squealed at the top of his lungs prompting Sonny to slam his hand over Ric's mouth.

"**_This isn't funny Ric!"_** Sonny barked with anger through his teeth.

"_**Ok. I'll talk. But I can't. I can't breathe. It's not like I can go anywhere guys."**_

They both let him go. He took a quick minute to catch his breath.

"**_Ok. Yes. I know. What's wrong. Well. I only know so much." _**Ric doubled over to take another breath and pulled himself back together.**_ "Apparently she's dying."_**

"**_Dying from what Ric!"_** Sonny screamed flinging his hands in the air.

"**_I don't know Sonny. I really don't man."_** Ric's eyes started to well with tears. **_"I try to help and she won't let me. If she won't let me, there's no way she's gonna let you. Or even you Lorenzo!"

* * *

_**

Sonny closes up the storybook thankful she lost interest when he opened the cover. He looks down at Kristina passed out on his arm not a bit disappointed in her lack of a story for the evening. Alexis creeps into the apartment hoping not to disturb the quiet.

"**_Was I gone long?"_** She asks him.

"_**No. She's easy. We just read a story and sang songs. It was great. How was visiting Ricky?"**_

"**_Good. It's always a good thing to do. Keeps life in perspective. Makes me very glad to see her." _**Alexis points towards Kristina.

Sonny stands up always nervous about the subject of Ricky, but he always knows the importance of asking.

* * *

"**_Cause Momma taught me manners._**" Sonny points his fork in Lois' direction. 

"_**Did she? Like when you used to trail your dirty sneakers through my momma's house after it rained."**_

"_**I was young and dumb. And now. I'm old and dumb."**_

"_**Brookie said you wanna write a book or something. Wouldn't that be bad for you legally?"**_

"_**Naw. Not that kind of book. Like parables and stuff. Nursery rhymes or something. I don't know. I'm not exactly on schedule."**_

"_**What's this schedule thing you keep bringing up? I think you have partial conversations with me Sonny. Like you've talked to someone else and you finish it with me, but I didn't get the beginning."**_

Sonny pokes at his food starting to feel slightly delusional. **_"Do you sometimes get your wish in the worse way possible? Like the knife you were hoping to twist in someone else gets turned on you. And you find yourself using that same knife to cut your cake?"_**

Lois stares at him clueless. **_"Run that by me again slowly ok."

* * *

_**

AJ acted more nervous than her considering it was her case they were trying to build. She knew he was hoping to set some type of precedence for Sonny's bad behavior for his own satisfaction.

"**_Alexis. I've seen him. I know. I'm an alcoholic. Put it down on your pad."_** AJ pointed towards her pad sitting on the desk.

Alexis swung around in her chair and decided to chew on her pen cap instead.

"_**Alexis. He drinks like ten times a day."**_

"_**Ten AJ?"**_

"_**Ok. Maybe five."**_

"**_Is five severe AJ? Are we talking about sips? I mean how would you know?"_**

"_**I heard it through the grapevine."**_

"**_Not good enough Marvin."_** Alexis swung her chair around again biting to fill in the holes of his accusations with something concrete. She finally stopped and climbed onto her desk and grabbed at the bottom of his suit coat. **_"Focus AJ. Have you had any violent confrontations with Michael J Corinthos since the birth of my daughter?"_**

AJ stopped his pacing and looked her in her desperate eyes.

"_**No Alexis. I haven't."**_

"**_Damn!" _**Alexis pulled a hapless Fay Wray and laid her tired body on her desk.

"_**He practically gave me Michael back."**_

"_**You're useless AJ."**_

"_**That's what everyone says."**_

She looked up at him. **_"I'm sorry AJ. I'd love to chat, but I need to do what I can to keep Sonny from chopping my child in half."

* * *

_**

"**_I want half Eddie."_** Lorenzo mocked Sonny over dinner with Ric.

"**_You're gonna kill me here. He said that to her?"_** Ric laughed and almost choked on his last bite.

"_**That's what I overheard."**_

"_**So you were in your apartment?"**_

"**_Yea."_** Lorenzo answered without thought.

"_**Where was Alexis? Like why were they arguing outside?"**_

"**_Uh."_** Lorenzo looked down at his plate rendered speechless. **_"Uh. Ric?"_**

"_**Yea? What?"**_

"_**I think Alexis might be pregnant." **_

Lorenzo committed the ultimate sin. And he knew it. He threw Alexis to the wolves.

And later that day, with a balled fist, Natasha decked Lorenzo clear across his face.

_Unexpectedly and with malice._

_Premeditated._ Natasha cleared his freezer of steaks so he had no choice but to truck his injured ass over to Marty's Meat Market. He told Marty his injury was an escort service gone awry.

Lorenzo shook his head with steak attached and offered his advice. **_"Marty, don't ever bid on Russian girls on E-bay."

* * *

_**

"**_It's all about avoiding confrontations Brooke. That's the kind of guy I am now." _**Sonny licks his finger and holds it up to the sky.

"**_What are you doing?"_** Brooke Lynn asks finally putting her book down to take notice.

"**_I'm measuring the change in the winds. So I can know which side of the tree to start building." _**Sonny picks up his plans attached to a pile of lumber. He starts to turn them in different directions.

"_**Can't read 'em huh Uncle Sonny?"**_

Alexis makes her presence in the backyard known with the slam of the door. **_"That's all the conformation I needed. Please tell me what Kevin said isn't true. Sonny, you really don't know how to read?"_**

Brooke Lynn buries her face in her arm.

"**_It's ok Brooke Lynn." _**Sonny reassures her with softness in his voice feeling her anxiety more than his own.

"**_I think I'm gonna be sick." _**Brooke Lynn passes out in the chair.

Sonny quietly thanks God that the child is typically overdramatic while Alexis stares at her laid out across Sonny's lawn apparently disturbed.

"**_She pulled a Fay Wray. She's a better actress than I am."_**

Sonny nods his head. **_"She really is. That kid is useful. I could rob a bank with her if I wanted to."

* * *

_**

Ric pulled on the doorknob hoping maybe she forgot to lock it.

"_**Alexis! Are you really sick! We need to talk about this! How can you tell Lorenzo that you're pregnant before me? Does Sonny know too?"**_

Alexis kicked up her feet on the edge of the tub and flipped through her magazine.

"**_Alexis! I don't hear you in there!"_**

She quickly hopped up, flushed the toilet, and mustered up an ill-sounding voice. **_"Oh my God! I'm so sick! I need peace and quiet for like five…no half an hour…half an hour Ric! Then we'll talk!"_**

She sat back down on the floor and whispered to herself. **_"After I finish my magazine. And then I will channel Natasha and beat Lorenzo to a bloody pulp. I'll show him a dirty Russian girl." _**


	18. Chapter 18

May 9, 2006

**Inquisitive Natures**

Sonny and Alexis leave Brooke Lynn outside in the backyard to continue their conversation inside beyond Momma Cass' nosey ears. Sonny yanks his hands from his pockets more than willing to talk with them over trying to come up with words of explanation.

"**_Obviously there are some issues we might need to discuss."_** He softly tries to break the ice.

Alexis bulks at the calm as a matter of fact tone in his voice. **_"Yes. Sonny. Issues. Many issues. You're illiterate. That's huge."_**

She crosses her arms waiting for him to juggle the ball thrown back into his court. He motions his hands some more and after taking in a couple of her obscure looks, he gives up and shoves them back into his pockets.

"_**I'm not stupid."**_

"_**I didn't call you stupid Sonny. I am trying to figure out exactly how you pulled this off."**_

"_**You're making it sound like I scammed you or something. I didn't tell anybody."**_

"_**Then how did Brooke Lynn know?"**_

"_**The kid knows everything. I can't hide anything from her. Trust me. I'd love to. My life would be a hell of a lot easier, but she always finds out."**_

"_**You know what upsets me the most?"**_

**_"No. I'm not sure why you all are upset. Hell I'm the one that should be torn up. But I'm not."_**

"_**Why not Sonny? Now before you answer. Understand that I feel like I was lied to."**_

Sonny throws his arms open. **_"I don't understand why this is about you! Or even her passed out on my lawn! I'm the one that can't read and write. Help me here."_**

"_**Do you remember what we meant to each other Sonny?"**_

"_**Oh god. Where are you going with this?" **_

"_**You sat on my couch many times. I shared my biggest fears with you. I broke pottery for you and never once did you mention something like this." **_

"_**I don't understand why it even matters Alexis."**_

"_**It's an issue of trust. It's an issue of truth. You're not who I thought you were."**_

**_"Who did you think I was and who do you think I am now? Let me guess. You thought I was a clever and smart business man, legal or not, and now you think I'm incompetent."

* * *

_**

Kevin pushes back in his recliner to look up at the ceiling. Lucy interrupts his meditation with the close of the door.

"_**Doc, you've been in a better mood since you got Alexis back."**_

"_**I can't deny that she fills a void."**_

"_**Seriously. What does that mean? Should I worry?"**_

Kevin flashes Lucy a grin**_. "No. I do owe Alexis a bit of gratitude for bailing me out back in the day. But aside from that, I've been with her through everything. And all I can do is help her deal with her latest situation the best way that I can."_**

Lucy stares at Kevin not exactly sure of what he means.

"_**Her latest issue? Something wrong with Sonny? You really didn't explain why she ended up in the hospital."**_

"_**Aside from her discovery of his inability to read and write? No. Sonny is Sonny."**_

"_**Is something wrong with Kristina?"**_

**_"Doctor- patient confidentiality Lucy."_**

"_**Ok. How about I ask as a friend of Alexis?"**_

**_"Well then I'd have to say it's not in your best interest for me to disclose any information about Alexis. I'm sorry Lucy. Alexis asked me not to."_**

"_**Ok. That's fine. I'm leaving now."**_

Kevin darts from his chair and grabs a part of Lucy's dress.

"_**No. No. I know you Lucy. You're gonna go snoop aren't you?"**_

Lucy frantically shakes her head. **_"No. You said she doesn't want anyone to know. I don't even know what to snoop for."_**

**_"You always stumble upon information. Do not go snooping Lucy."

* * *

_**

Alexis stares at Sonny unsure of whether or not to agree. **_"Yes. I find you incompetent. Not because of this. Just in general. Do you even know who shot through your window?"_**

"_**Not yet."**_

"_**Shouldn't that be a priority? How is Kristina going to live with you under these circumstances?"**_

Alexis touches her heart realizing she said too much, but Brooke Lynn saves her.

"**_I'm better!"_** She announces while racing through the door. Alexis grabs her and becomes overly concerned with dusting the grass from Brooke Lynn's clothing.

**_"You are covered in crap. And if I'm not mistaken, I think I'm supposed to take you home."_**

"**_Where you going? We're not finished!"_** Sonny yells at her as she gathers Brooke Lynn's backpack.

"**_Yes. We are. Let's go Brooke Lynn."_** Alexis takes Brooke Lynn by the hand and drags her out of the house.

* * *

Lorenzo fell back on his bed and placed the cold press on his swollen face. He quickly jerked up his body from the slam of his door. Alexis invited herself in and moved towards him with her face filled with intimidation. 

**_"Natasha. Please. Don't hit me again. I want to keep my real teeth a couple more years."_**

Alexis grinned and pushed him back onto his bed. She sat down behind him and caressed his head on her lap.

**_"Lorenzo. You're going to explain to me why you told Ric I was pregnant after I told you not to."_**

Lorenzo sat up not convinced she wouldn't break his neck if he made himself vulnerable.

**_"It was either that or me telling him that we almost slept together. Which bullet did you wish to extricate Natasha?"_**

"_**You're a bloody wimp Lorenzo!"**_

**_"Bloody?"_** Lorenzo grinned with pain in his jaw. **_"He's an attorney. He asks questions. Too many I might add. And he was getting suspicious."_**

"_**And the best you could do was '**Alexis is pregnant'**. What an annoying chap!"**_

A knock hit Lorenzo's bedroom door. Ric's voice followed the knock calling Lorenzo's name. Lorenzo and Alexis rushed to find her a hiding place under the bed.

After Alexis was settled under, Lorenzo invited him in. **_"Come on in Ric!"_**

Ric walked in ready to vent. **_"I need to talk to you about Alexis. What happened to your face?"_**

Lorenzo touched his face almost forgetting his bruises. **_"E-bay."_**

Ric tried to hold back a laugh but failed. **_"The Russian wife? I thought you were joking?"_**

"_**Enough about me. What's your problem with Alexis?"**_

"_**I'm upset she didn't even bother to tell me about the pregnancy. What made her tell you?"**_

"_**It was a slip Ric. I think she was in shock."**_

"_**Maybe. You know where she is? I checked the office. No luck."**_

Lorenzo looked down and behind himself. **_"Not a clue Ric. I'll call you if I see her."

* * *

_**

Alexis shakes herself from her daydream and realizes the coffee pot is in her hand instead of on the hot plate. She gasps at the coffee making its way across her counter.

"**_I'll be out there Brooke Lynn!"_** Alexis calls out to her while rushing to clean up the hot mess.

Alexis makes her way into the living room and hands Brooke Lynn a warm mug. She gives her a soft smile before settling next to her on the couch. Alexis yanks out a bottle sitting on the table behind her. **_"Would you like Baileys in your coffee?"_**

Brooke Lynn grins at Alexis and nods with excitement while crossing her legs on the couch for a comfortable position.

**_"Is that ok Alexis?"_**

"_**Of course. We'll keep it between us. It's our secret girl's night in."**_

Alexis pours in the Baileys under Brooke Lynn's watchful eye. Brooke immediately gulps down her coffee after the ok.

**_"Slow down Brooke. We can't get light-headed here. We have a lot to discuss."

* * *

_**

The night begins to fall to Sonny's dread. He had taken a walk to Lois' house and found her door locked. So he sauntered back to his house and into the backyard to set up camp for the night. Sitting on his back stoop, he notices the porch light gleaming above his head and he realizes he's lucky to have it considering he's never paid the bill.

"**_How would Kristina live here?" _**He asks himself not exactly sure of what Alexis meant, but deep down inside knowing exactly how she felt.

He keeps his ears on alert and notices a sound of someone coming along the side of his house**_. "Who is it?"_** He speaks with force to the air.

**_"It's just Lucy Coe."_**

Sonny stands up from his stoop and approaches Lucy trying to maneuver in the dark. He grabs his flashlight and guides her to his porch under the light.

"_**Lucy? What are you doing here all by yourself?"**_

"_**I just thought I'd stop by. Lois and I went out for dinner."**_

"_**Oh. I stopped by her place and noticed she was gone."**_

"_**So what's the deal with Alexis, Sonny?"

* * *

**_

"**_Maybe I should have taken my own advice on the Baileys huh?"_** Alexis questions lying back into a comfortable position on her couch. She observes Brooke Lynn fighting to stay awake at the other end. **_"Are you ok Brookie?"_**

"**_I think so. I think I should just lay right here. If my mom calls, I'll talk to her tomorrow."_** Brooke Lynn rubs her eyes and closes them to avoid the beaming lights.

"**_We won't answer the phones."_** Alexis reassures her.

They both lay in complete silence until a thought pops into Brooke Lynn's head. **_"Alexis?"_**

"_**Yes Dear."**_

"_**What happened to Baby Ricky?"**_

Alexis sighs. **_"Sonny was right."_**

Brooke Lynn sits up to look at Alexis. **_"Right about what?"_**

**_"You always find out."

* * *

_**

**_"Wow Lucy. You don't waste time."_**

Sonny invites Lucy to sit down in his lawn chair. He reclaims his seat on the stoop.

Lucy shrugs her shoulders.**_ "Why not just ask huh? Is it a crime to just ask?"_**

"_**No. Unfortunately I don't know what you're looking for Lucy. Doesn't Kevin know what's wrong with Alexis?"**_

"_**Patient-doctor confidentiality."**_

"**_Right. Right."_** Sonny nods his head in understanding. **_"I'm sorry. Can you clarify?"_**

"_**He said something about helping her with her latest issue."**_

"_**Maybe her visit to the hospital. She's still mourning the loss of Ric and Lorenzo. She loved them very much."**_

"**_They were good guys. So I hear you're illiterate?"_** Lucy belts out with a grin.

"_**So my issues aren't confidential?"**_

"_**Sorry. It's just between me, Kevin, and Alexis."**_

"**_So Alexis knew! She gave me hell about not telling her and she knew the whole time!"_** Sonny's eyes grow wide.

Lucy starts to bite her fingernails. **_"Did I get someone in trouble?"

* * *

_**

"_**Sorry Alexis. Didn't mean to pry."**_

**_"You're not prying Brooke Lynn. I just don't know what you already know. In fact I thought you knew a lot. I guess not."_**

"_**I've heard different stories. My dad has his theories and my mom always shoots them down. I know my dad hates Uncle Sonny."**_

"_**That he does. Sonny was involved. But that's over now. It's time for everyone to move on. But since you asked so nicely, I'll tell you the story."

* * *

**_

Sonny grabs his jacket from the kitchen table with Lucy at his heels.

"_**I'm going over there and giving her a piece of my mind Lucy!"**_

Lucy grabs Sonny's arm and pulls him back**_. "No Sonny. You're gonna get me in trouble. I wasn't supposed to pry."_**

"_**And I should save your ass because?"**_

"_**All I did for you. I will pay you to shut up. What do you want? Name it!"**_

"_**A double cheeseburger with a large fry and a Hi-C sounds good right about now."**_

Lucy smiles. **_"You're easy."_**

Sonny returns the smile. **_"And we can pry together. You have access to files and I have the smarts to not get caught. We'll find out the truth about Alexis together."_**


	19. Chapter 19

June 13, 2006

**Whatever Happened to Baby Ricky?**

"_**You don't have to tell me what happened Alexis." **_

Brooke Lynn lies back down and closes her eyes almost forgetting where the story begins and where it ends. She recalled bits and pieces. Some parts caused Brooke to awaken in the middle of the night wondering if she'd ever see her mother again. Other parts merely made her toss and turn until she felt Alexis' hand placed softly on her forehead.

* * *

"**_Are you ok?"_** Ric questioned Alexis gripping tight onto the counter at Kelly's after venting to Bobbie. She quickly turned around to Ric and tried to flash a smile back on her face. 

"**_I'm ok. Thanks for asking."_** Alexis tried to reassure him, but he knew better.

**_"You really shouldn't confront Sonny by yourself on this. Lorenzo, though I hate his guts right now…"_**

**_"Can we not argue about Lorenzo at the moment, Ric? The doctor said no stress. This is already a high-risk pregnancy. Keep that in mind."_**

Ric shakes his head a bit unnerved. **_"I love it how you throw Ricky in there whenever I bring up Lorenzo…"_**

**_"Because you're always bringing up Lorenzo."_**

Bobbie comes back to the counter and interjects. **_"Hey. People. Can't we all just get along?"_**

Ric furrows his brow and looks at the both of them**_. "Barely. We have some issues to discuss before you talk to Sonny, Alexis."_**

Alexis yanked her cell phone from her purse and headed towards the door. **_"I'm leaving Ric. I have phone calls to make. Meeting at 6? Bye."_**

Alexis rushed for the door leaving Ric at a loss. He looked back at Bobbie waiting for her admonishments.

"**_Ric, don't stress Alexis out."_** She said to him with a stiff finger.

Lorenzo walked in the door of Kelly's and stopped at the front with a grin having spotted Ric obviously frazzled.

Ric returns the smile with a false sincerity. **_"Hey Lo. Here for the meeting?"_**

Lorenzo looks around Kelly's and approaches Ric. **_"Uh. Yes and no. My son was supposed to meet me here for lunch. But I was stood up. He had some gig with Kristina. The Q's bought her a pony."_**

Lorenzo and Ric both sit down at an empty table.

"**_Well Kristina sure is the center of everyone's attention today huh?"_** Ric questions with a raised brow.

**_"Well. I guess Alexis is on alert since the judge decided it was ok for her to take sole custody."_**

Ric takes a sip of his coffee**_. "That worries me a little. I need your help because I feel you owe me."_**

Lorenzo throws up his hands in frustration**_. "Once Ric. Just once I had an involvement with Alexis…"_**

Ric laughs. **_"An involvement? That's funny."_**

**_"I'm trying to be PG-13 here. But because you're truly the only friend I have in this town, what do you want?"_**

**_"I want you to make sure that Alexis can never do to me what she did to Sonny today."_**

Lorenzo pauses to think**_. "Well there's a difference. The judge felt Kristina's life was in danger. She also felt Sonny was a bit on the impulsive side. Alexis had a strong case against him. I don't think she can take baby Ricky from you. I don't think she would even go there."

* * *

_**

Alexis sat in her limo with her cell phone still perched on her ear waiting to break through the constant busy signals of Zander's phone. Another call came through.

"**_Yes AJ."_** She answered. **_"Sonny's where? He's what!" _**Alexis' eyes grew wide. **_"I'm in my limo right now. In traffic. We can deter. Where is Zander?"_** She bit her lip**_. "I thought they canceled lunch together. He's supposed to be watching Kristina. I can't have her out of anyone's sight. I'll be there in a minute."_**

Alexis slammed her cell phone closed and redirected the limo driver in the direction of the Q mansion.

Sonny stared fiercely at the glass half empty of Scotch. He broke his focus with a knock on the wall from AJ in the Q family room. Sonny finished the last of his drink and gave AJ his attention.

"**_I called Alexis. You're not supposed to be here. She's on her way to take Kristina home."_** AJ calmly stated from a distance with a devious grin.

Sonny stumbled for a moment and yanked up a document from the table while he flung it madly for AJ to see. **_"She has no right. None. Do you know what this paper says?"_**

**_"Not a clue Sonny. I can only imagine. You seem upset and a bit intoxicated. That's my grandfather's best Scotch. He'll sue you if you drink it all."_**

Sonny belted out a boisterous laugh and ripped up the document. He took his glass and the Scotch bottle and turned what was left into the glass. He toasted the air, dropped the bottle, and threw back his drink down his throat. **_"All gone as Kristina would say."_**

**_"Ok. Where is Zander, Sonny? Alexis said he was in charge."_**

Sonny touched his temple for a moment. **_"Oh. Zander? He's preoccupied. Programmed son of a…"_**

"**_Sonny!"_** Alexis raced in—her face obviously flushed. **_"You are not allowed to be near Kristina until the judge and I hash out the details of the custody."_**

Sonny clicked his tongue and threw his head side to side. **_"I want a say. You don't know what happened to me. I was shot at!"_** He pointed to himself. **_"I wasn't the shooter Alexis! I can't help being a target! Instead of condemning me all the time, help me find a solution!"_**

AJ smirked. **_"Witness protection called and said they needed you to do a commercial. Membership is down."_**

Alexis sneered at AJ. **_"Don't make fun of the situation AJ."_**

"**_Alexis, he obviously doesn't have the wits about him to even discuss this."_** AJ bent over and picked up the empty Scotch bottle from the ground. **_"He finished off my grandfather's good Scotch. Kristina has been upstairs all alone since you did something with Zander. And not once have you attempted to go upstairs to even spend time with her when you had the chance. You chose to be spiteful and drink all of my grandfather's Scotch instead."_**

AJ moved closer to Sonny. **_"I used to be like you Sonny. All I wanted was possession of Michael. But when I had him, I barely ever spent any time with him…"_**

**_"AJ. You helped me win my case. I don't need you to poke fun at Sonny. Please stop."

* * *

_**

Ric looked at his watch. Brooke Lynn looks up for a moment at the clock and figures still a couple more hours till dawn. She bundles up her body tight and prays that the rest of the story turned nightmare is a wash.

Lorenzo sat back in his chair and watched Ric ponder over his last words. **_"You gotta be somewhere Ric?"_**

"_**Alexis said 6 so I was checking my watch. I was really in love with her."**_

"_**Are you guys over?"**_

"_**Yes. I'm sure. Not just because of you. It was doomed from the beginning."**_

**_"She still cares deeply about Sonny."_**

Ric looked at Lorenzo in shocked. **_"Huh? That's caring? What?"_**

Lorenzo shrugged his shoulders. **_"That's what she told me. She's still in love with him. But…well I think Alexis is in love with Sonny. Natasha I'm not sure about."_**

"_**What's the damn difference Lo?"**_

"_**That's why you two don't work Ric. You don't pay attention to her. I do. I know the difference."

* * *

**_

Sonny, stumbling along the way, moved in closer to Alexis. She straightened up her back ready for him to come towards her with all he had left in him. He kept his distance, but pointed in her direction.**_ "Alexis. You take Kristina from me, it won't be pretty."_**

The judge's decree was explicit. She sided with Alexis unanimously. She almost went as far as to grant a restraining order, but both parties felt the move to be the extreme.

Alexis ignored his threat and turned away from him feeling deep down inside that maybe she made a mistake. But Natasha spoke to her and told her that Kristina would forgive her in the end. The day Sonny was shot, Alexis had diverted the time of visitation because something told her it wouldn't be a good idea. _Kristina could have died_ she kept telling herself.

She walked from his drunken stature and headed up the stairs disappearing at the top. Sonny waited in the foyer for her to emerge not sure what he'd do when she did. He thought about it heavily and for a minute figured he'd forfeit everything—his love for Kristina, his love for Alexis, and maybe even his love for himself.

Every thought humanly possible ran through his head. Sonny knew Alexis' power. It spanned beyond her and reached to the remaining Cassadines, Stefan and Nik. They disapproved of him completely, but they always gave Alexis her space until needed. He figured them to be in her speed dial.

He thought about jumping from a bridge kind of like that guy in that movie with angels getting wings with the chime of church bells. He couldn't remember the details though the scenes of black and white played over in his head.

He had always figured that going from a paperboy sloshing through the nasty ass snow to the powerful man in the limo buying the news from that boy in the too little suit was as wonderful as life could get. He had money. He had power, but he never in a million years banked on finding love.

_Money and power was easy to lose_ he thought. Just like whatshisname in that movie. He shook his head in desperation to remember his name. Well whateverhisname was finally shown that wonderful was in love, family, and believing in angels. Sonny pounded his head and tried not to admit to himself that AJ's rant was right.

Sonny had gotten word from Robin that Zander was to have Kristina for the evening while Alexis, Ric, Lorenzo, and Justus went over a case that perplexed them all. Sonny knew they'd be tied up long enough for him to say goodbye to Kristina. He was ready to forfeit his love for her, but he knew he was fooling himself.

Sonny caught Zander walking into the Quartermaine mansion with Kristina resting in his arms. He had grabbed him by his collar and pointed a gun at the back of his head. He knew he'd never kill the boy that was like a son to him, but he was more concerned that Kristina would finally see the dark side of her father.

Luckily, unlike him, the child could sleep through a storm. Sonny often told her stories about storms that only hung over the dungeon of Wyndemere where Helena's cackle often lurked between the walls.

Zander complied with Sonny's request to take Kristina upstairs to the nursery made just for her. It always cut Sonny deep that Alexis would allow Kristina to find a home at the Q's when they came to visit, but she never allowed the baby to step foot in PH4.

Zander came back downstairs not believing for a minute that Sonny would harm him. Sonny grabbed the boy again, tied him up, and dumped him in the wine cellar in the basement.

When Sonny returned up the stairs and to the nursery to see Kristina, he realized she was peaceful. He watched her for a moment in her bed clinging tight to her lamby and a small glass bottle with a picture of a white flower with green leaves on the front. He eyed the bottle closely and touched it lightly hoping not to disturb the child.

Sonny realized what it was and slowly removed it from the Kristina's tight grip. She fought him for a moment, but she gave up to her slumber. He examined the bottle and realized it was stolen. _A beautiful little thief_ he thought to himself. He inhaled the gardenia perfume that Kristina never failed to swipe from her mother's purse whenever the child heard the words _"goodbye" _or _"see you later"_. Her swarthy skin would turn a shade of crimson and the wells of her eyes would fill with tears. And to avoid any further separation anxiety, Alexis would immediately grab her cell phone from her purse and pretend to be distracted from the onset of Kristina's tantrum. And in her mother's distraction, Kristina would steal her mother's perfume bottle to calm her tiny nerves.

Sonny promptly returned the bottle and went back downstairs knowing he was losing his angel. He knew she was too small and too naïve to even think of pulling him back from the bridge where he'd be ready to jump knowing he had truly lost all things wonderful.

Downstairs in the family room, he decided nothing mattered anymore. He chose to test his ability to down all but one drop of Edward's best Scotch while savoring the look on the old man's face when he walked in on the empty bottle.

The couple of minutes that it took for these thoughts to past through Sonny's mind couldn't possibly beat the seconds in which tragedy would strike.

He stood at the bottom of the stairs in shock at all he had lost. He gave up and just waited while the alcohol weakened every muscle in his body. _I was always in control_ he thought.

He watched Kristina stick her hand through the banister to wave to him below. She called for him. **_"Daddy! Watch me Daddy! I can do it by myself!"_**

He heard Alexis yelling **_"Kristina Chloe Morgan Davis!" _**from afar.

He heard Zander finally freed and cursing like a sailor on his way up from downstairs.

So many distractions filled his head so similar to the ones he tried to shake while sitting in the back corner of the classroom despite being the shortest kid in the class. He could never see the board and nor did he really care to. He'd just pull out his pad and draw pictures and dreamed trying to shut off the noise in his head.

Sonny's eyes hung heavy despite the yelling for his attention and cursing and calling of names. He neglected to notice Kristina climb atop the banister just like he often showed her when they'd sneak away to break into the Quartermaine mansion.

He swore to himself it was nothing more than another one of his drunken nightmares he always suffered when Alexis and Kristina would say goodbye to return to the city leaving him all alone and surrounded by false smiles and helpless souls all missing out on the wonderful life beyond the organization. He miscalculated the nightmare thrust down towards him from the top of the stairs.

Alexis stopped searching for Kristina in the nursery and answered up her ringing phone. **_"Yes Ric."_**

"**_I can't find my child. We'll discuss later. Don't ask questions Ric."_** Alexis hung up and heard the words that sent chills up her spine. Kristina yelled down to Sonny her abilities to _do it alone _after her ascension to the top.

Alexis spotted the child ready to fly from the banister. The lioness in her didn't have to think for a minute on what to do. She dropped her phone to the ground and raced to her daughter diving from the banister.

Sonny turned to walk away holding his head to stifle the sounds of Kristina's voice calling his name. He soon turned back to Alexis' scream for him to catch Kristina flinging her tiny body to the bottom. He could barely move and Alexis quickly realized his paralysis. Alexis took a leap and tumbled down while reaching out to grab Kristina.

Zander came up from the basement ready to pummel Sonny, but he paused in horror. AJ walked out from the kitchen with his eyes grown wide. Sonny banged his head on the front door trying to wake up from what he thought was a nightmare.

* * *

Brooke Lynn wakes up practically unable to catch her breath. Alexis buries her head in her pillow from not getting much sleep from Brooke's constant tossing and turning. 

"**_Brooke? You ok?"_** Alexis asks as she sits up to turn on the light.

Brooke finally wakes up and adjusts her eyes to the light. **_"I should not have asked what happened to Baby Ricky. I feel like I was there. I would have caught you Alexis."_**

Alexis gives Brooke Lynn a weak smile that only an early morning lack of sleep could muster up. **_"Go back to bed Dear. We'll discuss this more in the morning."_**


	20. Chapter 20

June 18, 2006

**Soul Mates**

"**_The coast is clear."_** Lucy states as she ushers Sonny into the darkness of Kevin's office.

He pauses and tries to see his hand in front of his face with not much luck. **_"I can't see Lucy. I don't like the dark very much."_**

Lucy motions over to Kevin's desk through the dark and turns on the tiny lamp clamped to the side. **_"Is that better? We need to hurry Sonny. We shouldn't be in here."_**

Sonny stands still to tune his ear to the sounds of people talking in the hall. Lucy does the same and holds her breath.

"_**Why are you helping me do this Lucy?" **_

"_**Because I hate secrets. And I don't like to be told no. I'll get that file."**_

Lucy walks over to the file cabinet and notices it's locked. Sonny pulls his keys from his pocket and tosses them over to Lucy. She catches them mid-air.

"**_I've got a Swiss army knife on there. Pick the lock."_** He says.

Lucy picks at the lock and pops it open. Sonny joins her by the file cabinet and peers over her shoulder. She pulls out a file and closes the drawer.

"**_Is that Alexis' file?"_** He questions with impatience.

She looks at him for a moment. **_"No. It's yours. You want it? It says confidential."_**

Lucy tries to hand him the file, but he waves it away with his hand. **_"No. I don't know." _**He reaches out to take it. **_"Yea. Give it to me. I wanna know what your jackass husband says about me."

* * *

_**

Alexis notices Brooke Lynn flipping through one of her case files in the living room. **_"Do you want more coffee Brooke?"_**

Brooke Lynn rushes to put the file away. **_"No. I'm really not allowed to drink coffee."_**

Alexis sits down next to her and picks up the file**_. "A little late to be informing me of that don't you think?"_**

Brooke Lynn whistles innocently and eyes Alexis' hand.

"_**Has your mother ever called you precocious Brooke Lynn?"**_

Brooke Lynn grins widely. **_"All the time. I skipped two grades. And I'm still bored."_**

Alexis nods to her in agreement. **_"I think Kristina and you are very much alike. I hope you stay close."_**

Alexis puts the file back down and stands up to go back to the kitchen.

**_"Alexis? What's this file?"_**

Alexis comes back into the living room and sits back down next to Brooke Lynn. **_"Why are you curious about this?"_**

"_**It has the name of the man that killed Ric and Lorenzo on it."

* * *

**_

Sonny takes a deep breath and flips through the notes. He looks back and notices Lucy still prying through the cabinet. **_"You find anything Lucy?"_**

**_"No. This is the reason my husband and I are soul mates. He never fails to stay one step ahead of me."_**

Sonny observes Lucy still in her aggressive search. **_"How did you know?"_**

Lucy stops and looks at Sonny. **_"How did I know what?"_**

"_**That you and Kevin were soul mates?"**_

**_"It's not something that's pronounced. It's just things that we say and do. Like he always knows when I'm up to something."_**

"_**And what about him?"**_

**_"I'm the best shrink he's got."_**

Sonny grins at Lucy, but it quickly fades. **_"Is it bad that Alexis is sick and I don't even know what's wrong with her? Does that mean we can never be soul mates?"

* * *

_**

Alexis picks up the file and eyes Brooke Lynn with curiosity. **_"How do you know the name of the man that killed Lorenzo and Ric?"_**

**_"I read the paper. It was plastered everywhere on my way to school. I didn't read the story, but I did see the name."_**

**_"I can't discuss this with you Brooke Lynn. If you tossed and turned over Ricky, I can't imagine what you'd do if I explained that night to you. I know you have a mature personality, but you still have a child's heart and there are things you never need to know about that night."_**

Lucy closes the file cabinet and sits down next to Sonny to keep his attention**_. "Sonny, I consider myself to be a pretty close friend of Alexis' and I don't even know what's wrong. I hate it that Kevin is keeping this from me to the point that I'm digging through his private files. It's wrong, but Alexis is my friend."_**

Sonny hangs his head. **_"But I should know what's wrong."_**

**_"Sonny. Chill out. You and Alexis barely communicate. You don't live together..."_**

**_"But Lucy, soul mates aren't always necessarily together…" _**

**_"Right. Sometimes it takes time to find your soul and be able to share it with someone. A soul is a very private thing. Why do you think it's two words instead of one?"_**

Sonny shrugs his shoulders. **_"I don't exactly know how to spell it so your analogy is over my head."_**

Lucy throws her hands on her hips. **_"Don't get snippy with me Corinthos!"

* * *

_**

Brooke Lynn practically jumps over the chair to keep Alexis from walking away from her. **_"Ok Alexis. Just tell me why you have the dude's file."_**

Alexis decides to humor Brooke Lynn. **_"I have his file because I was his defense attorney. Ric, Lorenzo, Justus, and I were his Dream Team. Unfortunately the case didn't go his way._**"

**_"Why? You guys rock as attorneys. I don't understand how you lost."_**

Alexis points her finger in the child's direction. **_"You breathe a word of anything I tell you, I'm gonna make you pick your switch."_**

Brooke Lynn holds up her hands to the air.**_ "I pinky swear."_**

**_"We threw his case. That's what happened."

* * *

_**

Lucy shushes Sonny and snatches the file from his hand. **_"The soul mate in me feels like Kevin is on his way. I need you to hide."_**

Sonny darts up and heads for the closet. **_"Aren't you hiding too?"_**

Lucy shakes her head. **_"No. The soul of Kevin will surely know I'm here. Just hide."_**

Sonny reluctantly hides himself in the closet. Kevin walks through the door just as Lucy decides to pretend to straighten his desk.

"**_Lucy. Why are you here? Are you prying like I asked you not to? I have Alexis' file right here."_** Kevin holds up the file. **_"Did you honestly think I'd leave it lying around?"_**

"**_No. I…"_** Lucy stops abruptly with her face beaming red from the sound of the blood-curdling scream projecting from the closet.

Lucy and Kevin both turn towards the closet with Lucy hoping Sonny will scream himself unconscious instead of blowing their cover completely.

* * *

Brooke attempts to continue the conversation. **_"How do you throw a case Alexis?"_**

"**_We're not going to discuss this any longer."_** Alexis plops down next to Brooke Lynn eager to change the subject. **_"Do you have crushes?"_**

**_"Like crushes on boys?"_**

Alexis raises her brow. **_"Or girls? I'm impartial. I won't judge."_**

**_"Yea. One or two…boys! Not girls! Boys."_**

The ringing of Alexis' phone interrupts the conversation. She answers**_. "Hey Kevin."_**

Brooke Lynn studies the various expressions on Alexis' face coupled with her silence of intent to hang on to every word that Kevin speaks on the other end.

Alexis finally gathers some words of her own. **_"Ok Kevin. I'll be there in a minute."_**

Alexis hangs up her call and focuses back on Brooke Lynn**_. "As I was saying…I don't remember why I asked you about boys. Forgive me for prying."_**

**_"Uncle Sonny isn't exactly a boy you just get a crush on Alexis. Why do you have to see Kevin?"_**

Alexis reluctantly plays with Kristina's Lamby on the table. **_"I'm such a bad mother. I forgot to give Viola this toy. I'm sure Kristina is frantic about it."_**

**_"What did Kevin want Alexis?" _**

**_"He asked me to come and help him with Sonny, but I have to find Viola. Maybe your mother can help him."

* * *

_**

Kevin loudly taps his pen on the pad and leans his chin on his palm with his arm propped on his chair arm. Alexis squirms in her position on the couch and looks everywhere but at Kevin.

**_"I'm sorry Kevin…" _**

**_"Don't apologize Alexis. But I will say this…when opportunity knocks, you open the goddamn door Dear. I could have called anyone, but I called you…"_**

**_"Why? Why did you call me? I don't need the stress of Sonny and his mental issues. He chooses not to get help so why should I bother? He got himself stuck in your freakin' closet. Not exactly life and death."_**

**_"It is to him. You've been there Alexis. You know what it's like to be alone in your delirium. That's why you worship me. I get you."_**

Alexis laughs. **_"Well you're right to a certain extent, but I'm still in search of that true soul mate. And I know it ain't you. I keep getting these false positives."_**

Kevin leans in to Alexis. **_"I hate to be that jackass, but I think your soul mate is waiting for you in the psych ward."_**


	21. Chapter 21

July 30, 2006

**It's Not You, It's Me**

"**_From Kevin's office make a left. Get into the elevator and take five floors up. I'm on the seventh floor now. Eight. Nine. Ten. Stop it Alexis. It's the floor 12th. He's in room 1277. No names are on the door for the purposes of confidentiality." _**

Alexis folds her prescription with the directions to Sonny's room on the back. She takes a deep breath and almost falls back, but catches herself on Kevin's closed door. She walks to the elevator and pauses for it to open.

Once inside. **_"Please close doors. Close. Close."_** She prays hard that a masked man won't stop the doors from closing and forcing them inside together. She closes her eyes and hears Ned's voice questioning her decision.

"**_I did it because I just wasn't ready for a commitment. It's not you. It's me."_** Alexis uttered wishing she had just told him she was too busy to even discuss it.

Ned studied her face refusing to look at him. **_"You flagged down a semi Alexis. You could have just stopped the ceremony and spoke to me privately. But you chose to hitchhike? How do you think that makes me feel?"

* * *

_**

"**_I'm sorry Ned."_** She whispered to herself while refusing to open her eyes.

The elevator stops and the doors finally open. An arm reaches inside and Alexis almost scales the wall until she realizes the arm is a friendly one.

"**_Hey Alexis."_** Ned greets her with a smile.

"_**What are you doing here Ned?"**_

"_**Picking up Brooke Lynn. Here to see Sonny? I didn't go into his room."**_

"**_I need out of here."_** Alexis rushes out of the elevator.

Ned removes his arm from the door and lets it close. "**_You ok Alexis? You're not worried about Sonny are you? According to Lois, he was a bit delusional, but he's resting now."_**

Lois approaches them. **_"Alexis! I'm glad you finally made it." _**Lois presses herself against Ned.**_ "Ned. And I. Are going. To take. Brooke Lynn. Christina. And Kristina. For ICE CREAM! TOGETHER! As a COUPLE!"_**

Alexis stares at Lois not sure if she should play the role of crazy. **_"You and Ned are a couple?"_** Alexis questions.

"**_I feel like the heavens have opened up and saved me."_** Lois flashes Alexis a look of relief. **_"Can we leave now Ned? I need a smoothie."_**

Ned and Lois turn to get into the elevator.

"**_We'll return Kristina by the evening."_** Ned says to Alexis before the doors close.

Alexis quickly goes to the desk to inquire the obvious of which direction she should go.

"**_Excuse me?"_** She grabs the nurse's attention. **_"In what direction is room 1277?"_**

The nurse looks up and smiles. **_"To the left Ms. Davis."_**

Alexis jerks her body and holds tight to the desk. **_"How do you know my name?"_**

The nurse realizes her mistake of recognition and tries to smooth it over. **_"Uh. My apologies for catching you off-guard. You were a patient and I was your nurse. I'm glad to see you're doing well."_**

"_**I am. I'm here to see a friend. If my visit will disturb him, it can wait till later."**_

"_**No. He was asking for you earlier. Take care Ms. Davis." **_

Alexis starts to walk away, but the nurse yells out to her. **_"Ms. Davis!"_**

Alexis stops. **_"Yes?"_**

"_**It's your other left Dear."**_

Alexis nods to her and continues in the proper direction. Her trek down the corridor seems mindless as she becomes lost in her thoughts. She couldn't determine what exactly prompted her to think about the most prevalent disorder she always seemed to suffer—rejection.

Alexis picked up her glass of water and took a couple of deep gulps. Lorenzo waited patiently for her to finish her thoughts. She finally put down the glass.

"_**Lorenzo. I know we were building a really good connection. I think you understand me more than I understand myself…" **_

"_**Cut to the chase Natasha. You want to end the relationship. It's not difficult to say…"**_

"_**It's just that…it's not fair to Ric."**_

"_**Ric is a big boy you know…"**_

**_"But I have to do what's in the best interest of my family and the firm of Alcazar, Davis, Lansing, and Ward. It's not you. It's me."_**

"_**Natasha. Stop reading from a script and be as honest with me as I've always been with you."

* * *

**_

Alexis poured her glass full of water and took a sip. She waited for Ric to give her his attention.

**_"Ric. I know you were hoping that we could give Ricky a conventional family, but I don't think this relationship is going to work."_**

Ric stopped eating and swallowed hard. "**_What? You're breaking up with me?"_**

"**_Well. I cheated on you._**"

Ric put down his fork and wiped his mouth. **_"Yea. I know. With Lorenzo. You both made a damn fool out of me. But I'm smarter than the both of you combined."_**

**_"Didn't Lorenzo tell you of the affair? How does that make you smarter? He led you to the truth."_**

**_"Are we going to get into a pissing match in the middle of a restaurant Alexis? Why are we doing this here?"_**

**_"I don't like confrontation. It's not you Ric. It's me. Just understand that sometimes people are better off apart."_**

Ric started to eat again. **_"I guess I should be glad you didn't flag down a semi at our wedding."

* * *

_**

Alexis snaps out of her thoughts and makes it to Sonny's cracked-open door. She notices a nurse checking on Sonny so Alexis decides to leave. The nurse rushes out to stop her.

"**_Ms. Davis."_** The nurse exclaims to her. **_"Mr. Corinthos is awake."_**

Alexis turns back to the nurse leaving the room. **_"Are you sure?"_**

**_"Just don't be alarmed by his behavior. Dr. Collins is his psychiatrist. He has set Mr. Corinthos up for evaluations first thing tomorrow."_**

Alexis looks at the nurse in shock. **_"Did Mr. Corinthos authorize those tests? I would be surprised." _**

"_**No Ms. Davis. He's not in the state of mind."**_

"_**Who is listed as Mr. Corinthos' power of attorney?"**_

"_**I will check Ms. Davis, but I think it might be you."**_

"_**Please check. And hold the tests until I discuss this with Dr. Collins."**_

"_**Yes Ms. Davis."**_

The nurse leaves and Alexis enters Sonny's room. He immediately opens his eyes and grins at her from ear to ear.

She sits down next to his bed and musters up something to break the ice. **_"What is it that Lois calls you? Her Sonny Bunny?"_**

"_**Something like that? Where is she?"**_

"_**Uh. She and Ned took the babies and Brooke Lynn for ice cream."**_

Sonny looks at her perplexed. **_"So he survived?"_**

"_**Who survived?"**_

"_**You said the babies. I guess Ricky survived?"**_

"_**No. Oh no. I'm sorry. Christina Baldwin is the other baby. My mistake. She and Kristina are inseparable."**_

"_**Am I going to go to jail? Are you here to question me?"**_

Alexis' eyes grow wide**_. "Oh Sonny. That happened a couple years ago Dear. Don't worry about it. So Kevin brought you here?"_**

"_**Yea. I don't know how he found me. How he knew my address. Deke was yelling at my mom again. He asked her what she was doing there?"**_

Alexis starts to find it hard to breath. **_"Have you gotten plenty of rest today? Maybe we should forgo the Superman tent for good."_**

"**_Thank God you got it right this time."_** Sonny continues to smile at her. **_"I hate it when you confuse Superman with Spiderman."_**

**_"Yes I know. Spiderman's web is not necessarily foolproof. You always make me laugh Sonny."_**

Alexis watches Sonny fade off to sleep. Alexis tries to hold back the laughter of his sane times and memory of his insistence on having Superman over Spiderman.

* * *

Alexis handed him a Home Depot bag. He yanked out the box from the bag and studied the packing. Expecting nothing less than excitement on his face she drews disappointment instead. 

He looked at her and forced a smile. **_"Uh. Thanks? I hate to be picky and everything but you bought me a Spiderman tent. My tent was a Superman."_**

She gripped her hands together and tried to stay calm. **_"What is the difference? They both end with the word man."_**

"_**Yea but I don't like Spiderman. I never did. All that climbing is way too much work. Superman could fly."**_

"_**Sonny, he has the web! He swings from the web! So in essence he flies."**_

"_**I have my theories on that. What if the web stops gripping?"**_

She took a deep breath and hurried past him to her door. **_"I'm going to have a moment of silence across the hall. You know where you can shove that tent."_**

"_**In my backyard right!"

* * *

**_

The nurse breaks up her memories and enters Sonny's room with his file**_. "Ms. Davis. I found out that information for you."_**

Alexis stands up to give the nurse her attention. **_"I'm his power of attorney right?"_**

"No Ms. Davis. You're not."

Alexis bulks for a moment. **_"Who is?"_**

"_**Dr. Robin Scorpio. And she ok'ed the tests."**_

Alexis presses her face in her hands and tries to keep calm. **_"Ok. I guess it is what it is."_**

The nurse nods to Alexis and leaves. Sonny opens his eyes again and realizes Alexis is still there.

"_**Alexis, can you make sure my mother gets home safely?"**_

"_**Yes Sonny. I will make sure she gets home safely."**_

Alexis watches him fall back to sleep with certainty she'll keep her promise.


	22. Chapter 22

August 3, 2006

**Stuck in a Moment**

Alexis rushes back down the corridor and past the nurses' station to the elevator. She stops in front of it and thinks. She turns to the nurse. **_"Excuse me but are there stairs to the 7th floor?"_**

The nurse looks up at Alexis perplexed. **_"Yes. They're further down the hall. The elevator is functioning."_**

Alexis starts towards the door to the stairs. **_"I need the exercise, but thank you."_**

She finds the proper door and makes her way down the stairs. She stops and takes a seat not exactly sure why. She lays her head in her hands. **_"Please tell me he was faking again."

* * *

_**

Kevin slammed the file down onto Alexis' desk. Lorenzo took his foot from the lounge chair and walked over to Alexis pushing her glasses closer to her eyes.

"**_What diagnosis did you give him?"_** She asked Kevin.

She noticed Kevin's lips locked tight and his chest ready to blow with steam.

Lorenzo interjected. **_"Shouldn't Ric be here for this?"_**

"**_I have trouble fabricating a defense for Sonny. It's unethical."_** Kevin muttered from his tight lips. **_"So I did a preliminary evaluation."_**

"**_And?"_** Alexis said.

"_**And I found that there is a strong chance that he has a bi-polar disorder."**_

"**_Would that lead to murder?" _**Lorenzo questioned.

"**_I thought we said Sonny was framed Lorenzo?"_** Alexis jumped in.

"**_Yea. But we're having trouble proving that he was framed Alexis._**" Lorenzo emphasized with his fist pounding her desk.

Kevin sighed to get back the attention. **_"Can we address the bigger issue here? Sonny has an illness. The evaluation that I did wasn't necessarily thorough. I need to dig deeper."_**

Alexis stood up from her desk. **_"We have two issues. We have two clients. Client A, Lorenzo's client, is Sonny Corinthos. Client B, Ric Lansing's client, is Jake Scalia. Client B Jake Scalia is framing Client A Sonny Corinthos for murder."_**

"**_So we think." _**Lorenzo added.

Alexis continued. **_"You may ask if there is somehow a conflict of interest. Why can't we just cut off the biggest reject of the two? I know you wanna ask right Kevin?"_**

Kevin clicked his tongue. **_"Why can't you just cut off the other client?"_**

Alexis grabbed Kevin's coat. **_"I would love to rid myself of this issue, but Jake Scalia is a flippin' maniac. I'm afraid he'd kill me and I'm afraid he'd kill my family."

* * *

_**

Alexis grabs her hair and closes her eyes ready to scream as loud as her lungs will carry her stifled voice, but she feels a hand on her shoulder. She pushes the hand away and pulls up on the stairs. Kevin takes a step back and allows her some time to settle down realizing who he is.

"**_You're still jumpy aren't you?" _**Kevin asks with concern in his eyes.

Alexis finally relaxes. **_"I try not to be." _**

Kevin sits down next to her on the stair. **_"The prescription I gave you is not habit-forming."_**

"**_I know, but I have to be alert for Kristina." _**Alexis rubs her brow. **_"And when I take it, I don't see them as much."_**

"_**Them? Lorenzo and Ric?"**_

"**_Yeah. I almost think I need them sometimes." _**Alexis looks at Kevin. **_"Is Sonny faking?"_**

Kevin looks down and shakes his head. **_"No. He goes in and out. Certain things seem to trigger episodes. I guess when I asked Lucy what she was doing there, he freaked out."_**

"_**He does that every now and then Kevin. He was in a confined space. He should just avoid them."**_

"_**That's a band-aid Alexis. You and I both know that."**_

"**_He was stuck in a moment. I just need you to hold on the testing. Robin? How can she do anything far and away? What does she know really?"_**

"_**I checked his records and she's authorized. I thought it might be you…"**_

"**_He must have changed it after I took Kristina away._**"

* * *

Alexis closed Sonny's file and watched Lorenzo write his opening arguments. **_"In my hand is the one thing I need to never have to worry about losing Kristina."_**

Lorenzo looked up from his paper. **_"Don't screw up my case Natasha."_**

"_**Between Sonny Corinthos and Jake Scalia, my firm is practically falling apart."**_

"**_Alexis, the firm doesn't just belong to you. It belongs to all of us. We took Jake Scalia's case with the intent to uphold his rights. None of us had any clue that he was framing your baby daddy. Listen, I may not like Sonny, but it's not fair to kick a man when he's down. Tell Natasha to put her toys away for now."_** Lorenzo stared at her keenly.

Alexis closed the file. **_"I'd never use Sonny's supposed mental illness against him. But I need something Lorenzo."_**

"_**Then use his lifestyle."**_

"_**It doesn't work. He pays off the judges. They claim his lifestyle is a threat whether she has a relationship with him or not. With this file…"**_

"**_It's time for Natasha to stop."_** Lorenzo forced a smile and went back to his writing.

"**_Alexis loves Sonny."_** She quickly expressed.

Lorenzo continued to write. **_"I know she does."

* * *

_**

"**_I owe him Kevin. Right?"_** Alexis starts to fidget on the stairs.

Kevin grabs her hand to keep her still. **_"It's not like you didn't feel an element of guilt about it. He didn't lose Kristina forever. You said he's stuck in a moment. He was when he was in the mob. But he chose that lifestyle Alexis. This thing he's going through now isn't a moment. It's something he can't control. And you have to realize that."_**

"_**I just don't want him to lose Kristina again if something happens to me."

* * *

**_

Alexis couldn't bear to look at Sonny's face across the courtroom. She fought with herself and questioned why in God's name she felt like Sonny was the victim. She had everyone's support on her decision except for Lorenzo and even Ric was hesitant.

Alexis slammed her hand so hard on the table in Lorenzo's apartment that she thought she might've broken it. Lorenzo and Ric just stared at her and shook their heads.

"_**Guys! I did everything I could to prevent using that file. It's not like they weren't going to question his mental health. Come on Guys. Ric? When did you lose your head so far up your ass that you couldn't see the forest for the trees?"**_

Ric slouched down in his chair. **_"I just don't want him shooting up folks. You don't need the stress right now Alexis. Couldn't this have waited until after Ricky is born?"_**

"**_I will not have time when Ricky is born and I would lose my focus. The judge might not even side with me. We'll see tomorrow."_** Alexis sat back and decided not to worry about it any longer.

Sonny and Alexis both rose when the judge entered the room. Alexis could barely stand. She took a peek across the room at Sonny and found him as confident as ever. She looked back to her other side and found AJ sitting in the audience shaking one leg with nervous movement. AJ flashed her a smile and a slight wave. She smiled back at him and focused back on the judge.

Not really focused at all, she stared off into space while the judge said a prelude to her decision. Alexis didn't hear a word. She just knew it was finally going her way.

And when the judge dropped the words that she couldn't wait to hear, Alexis tried to look to Sonny to see his expression, but her heart wouldn't let her turn in his direction.

* * *

Kevin releases Alexis' hand. **_"Not to have a therapy session here in the stairwell, but I think you had the similar reaction that you have in the nightmare that keeps coming up."_**

Alexis grabs the back of her neck. **_"Yea. The one where your whole body is paralyzed. I could not look at him. My neck would not turn in his direction. I know he was devastated. He just knew he was gonna have the upper hand. I just had that same feeling again in his room. He's lying in that bed thinking he has the upper hand, but yet he thinks his mother is still alive. I hate Adela. Is that wrong?" _**

Kevin laughs. **_"No. I freaking hate her too."

* * *

_**

In his backyard and newly released from his session with Kevin, Sonny picks up the fallen side of his Superman tent and reworks the post in the ground. He tries to keep from crying by constantly sucking back the sniffles that try to break. **_"I hate her."_** He says to himself.

He stands up and looks down at his tent. He looks up at the moon showing its face from the dark mask. He shivers remembering the day he almost died. **_"I can't hate her." _**

The sniffles break through and he throws himself to the ground and shoves his body into his tent while believing the darkness outside is mocking him for crying. He turns onto his back and looks up at the moon. **_"Why is she treating me like a child? I just wanna help her. My mother used to do this to me. I didn't know what was wrong. Why she was sad."

* * *

_**

Kevin took notes and waited for Sonny's response to his question. **_"Sonny? This can be quick and easy or this can be long and painful. I'll ask again. Do you know how your mother died?"_**

Sonny sat as still as possible.

Kevin leaned in to him. **_"Sonny. Remember Stone? You know I cared for him very much."_**

Sonny finally broke from his trance. **_"Whatever happened to Sigmund?" _**

Kevin bulked. **_"The duck? He's no longer."_**

"**_He died?_**"

"_**Yea Sonny. He died."**_

"**_I'm sorry Kevin. I don't understand death and how bad things happen to good people. He was a cool cat."_**

"**_But Sigmund was a duck Sonny. Not a cat."

* * *

_**

Sonny closes his eyes on the moon shining through the mesh of his tent. He tries to forget his evaluation that didn't seem to amount to anything to him, but provided pages and pages of written notes to Kevin.

Sonny tries to shut off his brain, but it goes in overdrive. **_"I wonder how Superman knows how to fly. I mean…does he wear special shoes? Is it the cape? How come I never asked my mother these questions when she was alive? I wonder if Alexis knows. I hate her."_** Sonny throws his hands on his eyes to take away the thoughts of resentment.

Alexis walks up to Sonny's tent just as he's cursing her name into the darkness. She tries not to be offended. She stays for a moment until she notices his discussions quiet down to silence. She walks away and studies the exterior of the house ready to go inside and figure out what's haunted Sonny for all of his years.


	23. Chapter 23

August 26, 2006

Something in the Way She Moves

Alexis steps into the house that Sonny likes to call Deke's house. According to Brooke's reports to Alexis, he refuses to go beyond one egress to the other. But since Sonny is drawn to any kitchen that's as far as he chooses to linger. She puts her purse down on the table and walks down the hall with only a small light gleaming through the window from the street.

In the living room, she notices a piano and an old-fashioned record player positioned next to it. She stops by the piano and runs her finger across the wood top and notices the dust. Her eyes wander and meet the album collection nice and tidy in the corner of the room.

Alexis pulls an album from the shelf with angels with harps covering the front and back of the cover. She frowns her mouth and realizes maybe she should check the inside of the sleeve.

* * *

"**_I almost wet myself!"_** Alexis exclaimed in her session the next day with Kevin. 

He pulled the pen from his mouth and laughed till his stomach shook**_. "You almost wet yourself over an album cover with angels on the front?"_** Kevin asked a bit confused.

* * *

Alexis pulls out the album from the sleeve and gasps at the picture of the fabulous four crossing the street in the circle in the middle of the vinyl. **_"Abbey Road!" _**She exclaims like a child opening a favored Christmas gift. 

Alexis throws the cover to the ground and completely forgets her surroundings. She dances herself over the record player with her favorite tune in her head and the record resting tight between her fingers. Once she throws the record on the player her spirits fall when she looks around and realizes there's no power.

She races to the wall and flicks the switch with a brief blink of light and then nothing. She kicks the wall like a child wanting her void filled right then and right there.

* * *

Kevin leaned in to Alexis to try to understand her pain. **_"So what you're saying is…you had a temper tantrum."_**

"**_I lost my freakin' mind."_** Alexis said to him. **_"But I was a fifth Beatle. I know the words to every Beatle song by heart."

* * *

_**

Alexis closes the record player and throws that idea away. **_"A piano doesn't need electricity."_** She says as she plops down on the bench. She coughs amidst the dust and lifts the top. Wiping off the keys she starts to hum**_. "I was a musician in my day."_**

Alexis studies her face in the mirror above the piano and searches for the likeness to her mother. **_"Hi Mommy. I'm going to sing and play at the same time. Just watch me."_**

Kevin furrowed his brow at Alexis. **_"You play the piano and sing? At the same time? I find that fascinating."_**

Alexis nodded to Kevin with certainty. **_"I just think a good spirit was flowing through my body. And Kristin Bergman was sitting right next to me."_**

"**_In Benson Hurst?" _**Kevin questions with a grin.

Alexis ignores his dig. **_"But seriously Kevin, the fact that someone hid Beatles albums in the covers of Catholic hymns was brilliant._**"

Kevin rubbed his forehead. **_"Or it's a sign that instead of me someone else is going to be your tour guide in hell. Maybe Adela?"_**

Alexis grinned. **_"I pay you way too much Dr. Collins."

* * *

_**

Alexis twinkles her fingers over the keys. **_"Ok Momma. You're gonna have to get me started."_**

Alexis takes a deep breath and Sonny awakens from his sleep in the tent. He opens his eyes to darkness and throws his hands over his ears.

"**_What is that?" _**Sonny questions as he crawls out of his tent and looks towards the house. **_"That is not a good sound."_** Sonny stands up and stretches his body. The music inside becomes familiar. **_"Who is that?"_**

"**_By sound Alexis. Play by sound. Just don't hit me if I'm out of tune Kristin." _**Alexis continues to play and sing. **_"Ob La Di, Ob La Da, Life goes on…"_**

Sonny continues through the kitchen not sure whether to laugh or cry. He stays in the kitchen and leans on the wall knowing the terrible singing voice anywhere.

Alexis continues to sing. **_"In a couple of years they have built a home sweet home. With a couple of kids running in the yard of Sonny and Alexis Corinthos...Ha ha ha ha ha."

* * *

_**

Kevin leaned back in his seat and let out a boisterous laugh. **_"That's fifth grade Alexis! You did not insert your names into the song."_**

Alexis sat up straight on the couch. **_"I sure as hell did. And don't think I didn't turn a million shades of red when I saw his shadow from what little light was in that room. I could have crawled under the piano."

* * *

_**

Alexis stops her singing from his shadow and drops the top back onto the keys as she often did in shock when she was caught in the music teacher's studio after-hours at boarding school.

Sonny steps into the room and leans on the doorframe with a smile. **_"I'm sorry. You didn't have to stop playing. I'm not going to pretend I was enjoying it."_** He tries to hold back the snicker in his voice.

"**_Can you tell me who the Beatles fanatic is?"_** Alexis questions.

Sonny yanks his belt from his pants and snaps it together making a loud popping sound. He rests the belt behind his neck **_"I got many many many ass whoopings. I also had my ways of getting what I wanted."_**

"_**So you hid them in your mother's albums?"**_

**_"My mother helped me. She listened to them too. We danced. I loved it when we danced."_**

"_**Did she let you stand on her feet?"**_

"**_Only in my bare feet. But yea."_** Sonny flashes Alexis his dimpled smile. **_"You wanna crank?"_**

Alexis looks at Sonny in confusion. **_"Huh?"

* * *

_**

Kevin looked at Alexis perplexed. **_"He offered you meth?"_**

Alexis shrugged her shoulders. **_"I didn't know how to respond!"

* * *

_**

Sonny realizes Alexis' confusion and motions his hand in a circular turn.**_ "The record player cranks. We don't need electricity. You wanna crank up Abbey Road and I'll light some candles so you can see the grooves of the album?"_**

Alexis quickly jumps up and races towards the player. **_"I don't need light. I know every crevice of this album. Is there a particular song?"_**

Alexis stares at the brightness of Sonny's eyes in the darkness. He averts them and takes her hand in his.

**_"I'll show you how the handle works since you weren't getting the concept. If I told you the song I wanted I'd have to tell you a secret and that song wasn't on Abbey Road."_**

Alexis laughs and allows him to guide her hand to a place on the album. **_"I get the joke. Haha. Do you wanna know a secret. The album was called Please Please Me."_**

Sonny nods his head in agreement while forcing her hand with the needle to a particular spot. **_"There." _**He says. **_"I want it to stay there. That's the song."_**

Alexis leans her back into Sonny and directs him to crank. **_"I want you to turn the thing. You're strong."_**

Sonny does what she asks to both of their amusement. Alexis turns to him not surprised by his choice.

**_"Are you hitting on me Sonny Corinthos? Something? What a beautiful choice."_**

"**_Don't worry. I never danced to this with my momma. That'd be inappropriate relations."_** Sonny shyly smiles as he pulls up his pants and looks away.

Sonny offers his hand to her. **_"I really like your outfit. You're gonna have to take off the heels if you wanna dance on my feet."_**

Alexis looks at her business attire from her quick rush to the office then straight to Sonny's to gather his thoughts on his first session with Kevin. She figured he wouldn't want to discuss it because some things were better left unsaid.

After she kicked off her heels and playfully hopped on Sonny's feet to dance, she completely forgot his cursing her name in hatred in the tent. She knew he hated secrets just as much as her and they both realized that Alexis' days of dancing to her favorite songs were short. It was all that Sonny had left to offer and he hadn't seen her smile in wonder like a schoolgirl in years.

* * *

Kevin felt Sonny might prefer a different setup than normal. He forced Sonny to lie on the couch while he paced back and forth without his shoes on. Sonny's eyes followed Kevin's bare feet walking through the office. 

"**_Why aren't you wearing shoes Kevin?"_** Sonny asks.

Kevin stops his pacing. **_"Did John Lennon always wear shoes?"_**

"_**Has Alexis been talking about me?"**_

**_"A little. She said you sang her a song and danced with her."_**

**_"For real?"_**

**_"Were you really hurt that Sigmund died Sonny? There are other ducks to love. Have you considered giving Kristina a duck as a pet? They're very docile animals."_**

Sonny stares upwards at Kevin leaning over him**_. "Is that the only way that you can relate to me is through a duck?" _**

Kevin sits and kicks his feet up on the edge of the couch. **_"Sing to me Sonny. Sing to me what you sang to Alexis."_**

Sonny maneuvers his body on the couch in a more comfortable position**_. "Wow. You know it's weird that I know the words to the song by hard, but I can't write them."_**

"_**Wasn't it better to just sing them to her? It's not who you are or what you say. It's what you do that matters."**_

Sonny smiles through his reverie. **_"Yea it was better."_** His voice falls into song.**_ "Something in the way she moves. Attracts me like no other lover. Something in the way she woos me. I don't wanna leave her now. You know I believe, and how. Somewhere in her smile she knows, that I don't need no other lover. Something in her style that shows me. I don't wanna leave her now, You know I believe and how. You're asking me will my love grow, I don't know, I don't know. You stick around now, it may show, I don't know, I don't know. Something in the way she knows, and all I have to do is think of her. Something in the things she shows me. I don't wanna leave her now. You know I believe and how."_**

The Beatles, The White Album

The Beatles, Abbey Road


End file.
